Expect mediocrity.

Not qualified to be a wizard

[contemptible-scoundrel]

she thought I was sucking the poison out her wounds for homoerotic purposes but Im really just trying to resell it on the secondhand market

[prokopetz]

Fundamentally, the problem with Wizard School isn't a lack of empiricism. It's an entrenched culture of pedagogy which regards being asked to explain one's reasoning as a challenge to the educator's authority, resulting in generations of students learning by rote memorisation, whose teachers in turn learned everything by rote memorisation, and so forth. A nosy whiz-kid isn't going to awe and baffle them with a keen grasp of the scientific method; they're going to get beaten bloody for asking impertinent questions, and the beatings will continue until either they learn their place, or... well, schoolyard accidents happen, don't they? Especially at Wizard School – beastly track record for student safety, if we're being honest.

So: what are we supposed to do if individual cleverness can't solve institutional problems? I'm glad you asked. The first part of the answer is, of course, student solidarity. The second part... well, before we continue, let me ask a question back: do you know what a "pipe bomb" is?

[prokopetz]

The wizard down the street got sick of rivals dropping giant rocks on them to circumvent their Anti-Magic Field, and decided to invent an Anti-Physics Field instead. We're not sure what happened next, on account of nobody who looks at the affected area can remember what they saw, but there's probably a research paper in it if anyone figures it out.

[ender--gaming]

[herssian]

deepen the shadows bro. it'll be ok

[herssian]

i meant art-wise but if any dark sorcerers see this. you do you

[evilwizard]

im not doing any whimsical christmas shenanigans this year. who give a shit

[evilwizard]

okay nevermind i accidentally drank a shrinking potion and got left behind by my minions on our annual holiday trip to paris

[evilwizard]

im Gnome Alone !

[evilwizard]

god fuck my stupid wizard life

[orcboxer]

wizard college midterms they handed me a death lantern I said what the fuck am I supposed to do with this they said whatever comes natural

[orcboxer]

I said that's stupid and left and they gave me a B+. By what fucking metric

[orcboxer]

wizard college midterms they handed me a death lantern I said what the fuck am I supposed to do with this they said whatever comes natural

[orcboxer]

I said that's stupid and left and they gave me a B+. By what fucking metric

[medievaljournalist]

ok but if your dog wasnt a secret werewolf why did my silver bullets work on it

[cryptotheism]

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

[atomic-freezer]

couldn't get this concept to leave me so here

[decrepify-deactivated20250528]

Yup returning to necromancy, I’m so back. And you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re

[evilwizard]

you can differentiate me from weevilwizard via subtle variations in our proboscis

[weeeeevilwizard]

We also have different color hats. Mine is a much more tasteful jet black, while yours is pitch-black.

[evilwizard]

ive gotta stop accidentally summoning gimmick blogs into existence

[elvis-official]

I know how you feel hummina hummina hummina. I can't say anything here without a new Elvis. Why are there so many Elvii. Why

[evilwizard]

you’re the only one who understands me elvis

[tortured-homonculus]

please... kill me master... my existence is unnatural...

[evilwizard]

BACK TO YOUR HOLE

[contemptible-scoundrel]

at first I was liek <(^_ᗜ)>

but then I was liek <(눈_ᗜ)>

[contemptible-scoundrel]

correct you are, your captainship

[maidthings]

your elf ears are short as fuck

[contemptible-scoundrel]

ITS A LIMITATION OF THE MEDIUM [gingerly places a marble in my eartip and flicks it at you with sufficient force to punch a hole through your skull]

[maidthings]

[parries it] oh okay! i understand! 𒀆(^_^)𒇽

[graskip]

starwalk

[maidthings]

just shot a gnome

[maidthings]

#cottagecore

[juney-blues]

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

can u imagine if other pieces of media were as scared of calling their monsters what they are as zombie media is about calling zombies zombies

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

werewolves? sorry buddy. around here we call them Howlers. vampires? those are Night Suckers. a ghost? not even close. that's a Nasty Little Flying Freak

[yasmin1000000]

[secondrate-lich]

Adventurers wonder how to enter my lair, they try and try again to solve the vexing puzzles that keeps the gates of my home locked. But truth be told, the doors rusted-shut months ago.

I have to enter through a broken hole in one the walls we keep hidden with some bushes.