#section17leave

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

Oh nomnom lunch was lush, junk food is basically my diet these days but it turns out that I don’t care, food will always taste better than skinny feels I’m on my way home for the weekend :D Excited!! Can’t wait to see my mum, home and my bed! #liveforleave #section17leave #homeleave #bpd

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

Creative play at home #section3 #section17leave #artartart #loveleave

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

All age worship at church this morning #lovemychurchfamily #lovechurch #loveleave #section17leave #bpd

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

My first 3hrs unescorted leave today. 3hrs is long when you’ve nowhere in particular to go or be. I did a few bits of self care shopping, had a cup of tea and a donut in a cafe while it poured with rain and a wander in the local park after the rain had cleared away all the people. 3hrs everyday is going to be hard to fill every day but I’m determined to get off the ward as much as I can. I looked around in windows for work but to no avail, a part time job would be handy to keep me occupied. Bpd is doing its best to throw urges at me,the last time I had this much time alone I could drink and harm and block out the day, I know I have to keep moving forward but it’s tricky. Can’t wait for church and home leave tomorrow...keep walking forward, I must keep walking forward #section3 #section17leave #bpd #bpdproblems #selfcare #recoverychallenges #rain #keeponkeepingon

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

Unescorted leave today to Milton Keynes! Free to travel alone! #section3 #section17leave #traintravel #letsgo #meetingmymum

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

Guess who is TOTALLY HYPED as it’s her first overnight leave tomorrow since last August!!! SO excited,all packed,bring on the weekend!!!! #overnightleave #section3 #section17leave #bpd #bpdproblems #excitedsomuch #praisegod🙏

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

First ever unescorted leave alone since being sectioned last August. Part of me thought it would be SO easy and enjoyable,after all that’s what I want, to be an indpendant adult...it was hard though. I walked past pubs and pharmacies and had to keep focussed. I’ve come to realise that maybe the urge won’t go away,at least not for a long time, to concede that yes I’m ill still but I can make choices that don’t feed that sickness. I wanted a drink to make everything easier but I resisted. Bought a couple of self care items and had ice cream in the local park. 1st leave down, BPD:0, Suz:1 The staff keep saying how quickly I’ve tuned things around and how amazed they are and say the new drug they got me on really is a Miracle drug, personally I think it’s a partnership of me and the miracle God and slowly we’re getting somewhere I feel so very tired as they upped my drugs (as they think it’s what’s helping) the effort to make good choices is even more draining but I want weekend leave more than I want to hurt myself and that has to be my focus #update #section17leave #bpd #bpdproblems #hospitallife #challenges #recovery

[rogpodgeandrainbow]

Cooking chicken and chips with Mum at home. *some normality* #section3 #section17leave #bpd #eats #nom