(ahkmenrah x reader drabble, 483 words, rated T for innuendo)
“You’re frustrated,” Ahkmenrah observes. “You don’t need to be, you’re doing very well.”
You let out a sigh, releasing your building tension. Who knew learning a dead language (from the only man in the world who still speaks it) would be so difficult?
“I know,” you try for a smile, though you know it falls flat. “It just... doesn’t sound right coming from me. I can’t physically figure out how to make that sound.”
“You’re very close, though,” he says. “I can understand what you’re saying.”
Your frown deepens. “Is it so bad that I want it to be perfect? You should be able to speak your language with someone.”
He gives the quiet huff of someone who’s used to dealing with you when you’re like this: stubborn and convinced that you should be able to do better. He moves in front of you, taking your hands in his and waiting for you to look up and meet his patient gaze. When you finally do, your pout makes him laugh softly.
“It means the world to me that you’re learning it at all, yib-i. It makes no difference if you speak it with an accent.”
You can’t hold his stare, your eyes pricking with tears. “It just... sucks to not even be able to hear your own name how it’s supposed to be said.”
He tilts his head slightly. “Do I not speak your name with an accent?” he asks, then cuts you off when you open your mouth to argue that it’s different. “Please believe me when I say that I like the sound of my name in your tongue.”
He softens now, squeezing your hands, and you raise your eyes to his once more. He’s looking at you with such affection, such adoration, that it brings warmth to your cheeks. “You say it with so much sweetness,” he adds.
Okay, fine, you can’t help the way his words make your lips twitch upward in a shy smile. He always knows just what to say to fluster you into forgetting whatever you were upset about. And alright, maybe you were worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about. Again.
You huff a tiny laugh through your nose. “Well, for the record, I like the way you say my name, too.” Then you give him a sudden smirk, because you can’t let him keep the upper hand for long: “especially when you moan it.”
His green eyes flash mischievously, and he moves in closer, bringing your hands to his lips and brushing a kiss across your knuckles just to make you shiver. “Oh,” he says teasingly, “is that where you want to take this conversation?”
You bite your lower lip to stifle a giggle, and he steps in again, leaning into your space, his warm breath fanning your lips. “Then how shall I make you say my name tonight, my heart?”
(Casper x reader, 500 words, post-ending 3, T for language)
“Casper. I need you to listen to me very carefully right now.”
You turn your phone around to face him, and he looks at you confused before reading aloud: “‘Immediate action required for your bank account.’” His brows knit as he looks up at you. “That sounds serious, are you in some kind of trouble?”
“No, no. Look at who it’s sent from.”
He reads the (incredibly phony-sounding) email address back to you, and then looks at you again, still confused.
You point at it. “This is what a scam text looks like.”
Casper narrows his eyes. He looks back at the text, then looks back at you. “But… it says your immediate action is required. Isn’t your bank account very important?”
You sigh. “It’s a lie, babe. They want me to click that link and put in my bank password. They’ll take that password to hack into my actual bank account, and then they’ll steal all my money.”
He still seems unconvinced. “But… what if you’re wrong?”
“You really are a scammer’s wet dream, you know that?”
He bristles slightly. “I do not want to risk not taking immediate action on my bank account.”
That gives you pause. “Wait, do they have banks in the underworld?”
“Yes? How do you think we deal with money?”
“Even in the underworld you have to deal with capitalism?” Honestly, you thought that his society was better than yours at that kind of thing. Though, maybe the whole ‘he was created for one purpose and that purpose is his job’ thing should’ve tipped you off. The billionaires of the mortal realm would love that shit. “Fuck, next you’re gonna tell me there’s capitalism in the afterlife, too.”
He shrugs. “I do not know. It is possible.”
“Please don’t say that to me. Anyway. If you’re gonna live in the mortal world for now, you’re gonna need to be able to tell what a scam looks like.”
“As far as I can tell, I cannot have a bank account here without an ID. Which, as I am not a citizen of this world, I do not have.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know I’m your sugar daddy from here on out. But there’s still plenty of stuff I want to help you not fall for. Like the fucking virus you gave my computer last week.”
He frowns. “It said I had won a prize.”
“Also, what if we have to forge some documents for you and get you an ID and bank account?”
There’s a hint of a smile on his face. “Are you looking to break as many of your world’s rules as I have mine? It will be much harder for us if we both have to go on the run.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose and heave an exaggerated sigh. “Point taken. Just. Please. If you get any texts, emails, or popups like this… come to me before you click anything, okay? The geek squad guys think I’m an idiot.”
“It is not—“
“So I told them that my idiot boyfriend is the one who clicked the link.”
am i still captivated by rami malek’s character from that movie where aaron paul does the scream of grief in front of the fire? yes. and you will continue to hear about him from me. i will not be silenced.
exactly as it says on the tin, folks! nsfw below the cut <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Soft and sweet. Clingy, lots of sensual kisses and just generally holding you close. Will make sure you have whatever you need (water? snack? towel? he’s on it!) especially if he went a little hard. though, the more exhausted you are, the more he feels like he did a good job.
If you show him the same care (which you will, because you love him) he will melt. isn’t really used to being the one being taken care of, but he could use it sometimes! (Especially if you went a little hard ;))
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
On his partner: how could he pick just one? Anything grabbable, really. Will drool over your tits, ass, thighs, hips… you name it.
On himself: he honestly doesn’t think about his own looks that often (he has some self esteem issues, but he buries them pretty deeply beneath humor), but he’s proud of his skilled hands—both in the garage and in the bedroom. And once he has someone regularly telling him everything they love about him, he starts to appreciate the same things you do, from his gorgeous face to his toned arms to his cute ass <3
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Doesn’t have a breeding kink, but definitely has a thing for creampies. Loves to see his cum on you or in you. Your thighs, your stomach, your tits, your face if you’re down for that—please let him cum on you. Will want to finger you after he comes inside, like he’s really getting it in there. Also wants yours all over him. If you’re making out and you leave a wet spot on his pants, he’s in heaven.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Not a lot of secrets here, he’s an open book and pretty shameless. He will try to keep the extent of his desperation for you under wraps if he doesn’t think his crush is requited, especially his dirtier fantasies, and okay, that one time you got really sweaty at the garage and you had an undershirt on so you took your shirt off and accidentally left it and maybe he nicked it in a moment of weakness and now he can never let you—or god forbid any of the guys—find out.
Maybe he has one secret.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Not quite as experienced as he wants people to think, but he’s been with a fair amount of people. Much less experienced with actual relationships—most of the women he sleeps with end up as one night stands or short flings, but it’s mostly because there’s a disconnect between the way he flirts and the things he actually wants. (Doesn’t quite realize that being marked as an easy hookup doesn’t necessarily mean they like him. And when they’re expecting him to leave afterwards and he was wanting to cuddle and stay the night… well. He comes off as a little clingy.) (Plus he’s just sort of shamelessly desperate.)
That being said, he does know what he’s doing. He is a fun hookup, and very much a pleaser. And he learns and adapts quickly, especially once he’s with someone for a while and has time to learn what makes you tick.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary so he can see your pretty face <3 Just really likes to feel close, physically and emotionally. He wants to be able to kiss while fucking. Will hold your hands while he fucks you nice and slow, and bury his face in your neck when he comes.
Also, any position where you’re on top. Really likes it when you ride him. (And he’ll pay you back in kind, pulling your back to his chest and getting you off while he kisses the back of your neck.)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s a goofball most of the time, and that energy certainly extends to the bedroom. Lots of teasing and joking, very lighthearted and fun. But he can read the room—if it’s a more serious moment, he can do that too.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Lightly manscaped, nothing high maintenance. Will try to figure out your preference so he can do that.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He is a loverboy, through and through. A goofy one! But a loverboy all the same. Has not had a whole lot of intimacy in his life, but really craves it. At first, he’s a little more nervous in serious, romantic moments, because he doesn’t have a lot of experience in that department, but once he’s used to it he’s as confidently romantic as he is sexual. To the point of cheesiness sometimes (often), but that’s just part of his charm.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
When he’s single/has a crush? Jacking off all the goddamn time. Gets turned on easily and needs to do something about it before he can be normal again. In bed, on the couch, in the shower, real quick in the bathroom at the garage if he needs to—literally whenever. Can get himself off super fast, but prefers to take his time when he can. Active imagination, will moan your name out loud and make an absolute mess of himself.
When he has a partner, obviously he jacks off a lot less, but when he does you’re the only thing on his mind. Will use that time to come up with new ideas about what he’s gonna do next time he has you in his arms <3
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Cars. Is cars a kink? Because cars is his kink. Fucking in the car. Or on the car. You, posed all sexy next to a car. Especially if it’s a car he built.
Semi-public sex, the possibility of getting caught. A remote controlled vibrator on you in public. Being touched under the table at a restaurant. Pulled into the closet at a party. In the alley outside a bar. Or a bathroom in the bar. The riskier the better.
Praise, giving and receiving. He really wants to be told he’s doing a good job, that he’s making you feel good, that he’s the one you want. And he’ll make sure you know the same.
Whatever your kinks are, they turn him on too. What makes you feel good—bondage? He can do that! Edging/overstimulation? Hell yeah! Dom/Sub dynamics? He’ll do his best! (though he’s much better at being a sub, and he can’t be a hard dom no matter how hard he tries. Needs to be light d/s.) A switch and a vers. Pleasing you is his number one kink.
Also, if you’re taller than him/can put on heels/platforms to be taller than him. Loves to have to look up at you.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Again: cars, semi-public places. Really anywhere in the house, though it’s a little hotter if it’s not the bed; adds a touch of desperation, like you couldn’t even make it all the way to the bedroom. And boy is he desperate when it comes to you.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
What doesn’t turn him on? This man could get hard from a stiff breeze. The slightest insinuation that you’re horny and he’s ready to go. Revealing clothes. A whisper in his ear. A touch to his lower back. An errant thought about you. Probably just a really sexy car will do the trick. But most of all, you showing him that you want him.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Won’t hurt you, or be too mean to you. Doesn’t want you to hurt him or be too mean to him either. Also, don’t tease him too much about how fast he comes, he’s a bit insecure about it.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Finn needs to eat pussy to live it’s like vitamins to him. This man loves oral, and he’s very good at it. (Again, maybe not great at first, but he learns fast and really wants to please you.) He’s not afraid to get messy.
Also loves receiving, but gets a little embarrassed sometimes because it makes him come especially fast. But so long as you assure him it’s hot, he’s very into it. And he will be very vocal. Falls apart incredibly easily.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He contains multitudes. Likes to go slow at first, especially if he’s trying to tease you (or last longer), but he will lose that ability before long if he’s inside you. Of course, if you’re asking for it faster and harder he will absolutely oblige. Always very sensual, though.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Whenever, wherever. Say the word and he’s game. Will try to pull you away from the party, especially if you’re dressed fancy or sexy. He’ll even try to get away with a quickie at work. Much to Joe and Benny’s chagrin (if you’re at the garage and he starts making eyes at you, they will intervene).
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Risk and adrenaline are like, his whole thing. Will experiment with just about anything and try just about anything once, even if it’s not something he really gets or thinks he’ll be that into. If you wanna try it, he’s game.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Absolutely a quickdraw, but gets hard again pretty damn quickly, and can go a surprising number of rounds (especially because he likes to focus on pleasing you first. Just be sure to let him know his pleasure is just as important to you <3) He’ll also keep going through overstimulation for you. He does not wanna pull out before you cum.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Doesn’t have any before he gets with you, but if you like them, he’s all over it. Don’t get him wrong, of course he’d rather be using his hands or mouth on you—but he can’t deny how easy it is to tease you with a vibrator. (Plus, he hasn’t figured out how to make you squirt without a vibrator yet. He’s working on it though.) And if you wanna use them on him, well. He certainly won’t complain. (He really likes the vibrating cock ring.)
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh god. He’s a menace. Especially if you have a thing for edging. He’ll tease you for ages if you let him—even if he knows you’ll make him pay for it later. (Especially if he knows you’ll make him pay for it later.) He loves it when you beg, and he loves making it last as long as he can. And if his particular brand of shameless and corny verbal teasing works for you, all the better.
He’s also a terrible tease in public; he loves to do things that seem innocent, but that he knows drive you crazy. Little touches where he knows you’re ticklish, dirty words whispered in your ear in the middle of a crowded room, stretching when he knows it’s gonna show off his midriff. He’ll go so far as to get you alone and slip his hand in your pants and play with you for a minute, just to leave you wanting and go back to the party (though it’s very, very difficult for him). Anything to get you riled up and begging for it later.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Loud. Shamelessly loud. Very verbal, especially at first, talks constantly. A lot of praise and encouragement and teasing, and calling your name. Groans every time he makes you moan, long and low. More grunts when he gets close and starts losing control. Moans nice and deep when he comes. His noises are all very hot.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
A somewhat serious one: Finn actually has a lot of insecurities. He hides them well enough that sometimes, even he doesn’t know they’re there, but they are. He always needs to be the funny guy, confident and shameless; but it comes from a place of fearing he isn’t good enough. (Well, that and an adrenaline-junkie level of recklessness.) He needs to feel useful—it’s part of why he loves his job so much; he’s good at what he does, and his friends need him. The operation doesn’t run without him. So when it comes to sex, he’s a similar way. He wants to please, to do a good job, to be wanted and needed... but he hasn’t had many partners that wanted him the way he wants to be wanted (again, because he comes off like he wants something casual when what he really wants is someone who actually wants him). This has left him with a little bit of a complex about his worth in bed. Yes, it absolutely makes him feel good to make others feel good, but he’s a little self conscious when it comes to his own pleasure. It takes a bit of careful work to convince him how badly you want him to feel good too, that he doesn’t need to focus so much on you, that you truly don’t mind that he comes so quickly (that, in fact, you actually like it). It’s not like, a huge complex or anything, but it’s there, and you’ll both be happier with it addressed.
A less serious one: Finn kisses with like. A lot of tongue. Like, he’s still a good kisser, but depending on how much you enjoy that, you may need to ask him to tone it down. It can get a little messy. He wants your spit in his mouth.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Pretty much canonically a grower, not a shower. Fairly average size, maybe a little smaller, but damn does he know what to do with it. A nice, pretty dick.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
So high. Always ready to go, and will keep going as long as you want him to—even if he overexhausts himself doing it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Once you’re done for the night and he’s all snuggled up to you, he likes a bit of pillow talk, but he can’t stay up too much longer. He pretty much gives his all every time, and ends up exhausted. And if you’re stroking his hair and telling him you love him? He’s never been happier or sleepier.
(He will be ready to go again as soon as he wakes up, though)
