Do you think Sansa is self absorbed, more than other characters i mean? I have often seen people saying they dislike her because of this? Or do you think its just people projecting mean bully teeange girls onto her character when she is nothing of the sort?
More than others? No. Have people skipped Tyrion's chapters? Or Theon's? Or Jaime's?
Absurdity out of the way:
Yes, Sansa certainly has her moments of self-absorbtion.
We first get her POV in the middle of a highly stressful time in her life, where she is facing a lot of pressure with a starkly reduced level of adult guidance and supervision. She's trying to be "all adult and reasonable" and fails pretty hard. Because she's twelve. Because she needs guidance and explanations and she's not getting any. Drastic change is met by traumatic loss is met by grief is met by the expectation to adjust to her future life and find joy in it. Under all of this, simmering anger over Lady.
Trying to rely on herself makes her necessarily more focused on herself, and less empathetic than we see her even in her first appearance in Arya I.
She is still very much capable of being observant and empathetic (even to a monster like the Hound) but she overtly relies on her immature internal understanding of how things (are supposed to) work, as opposed to acknowledging the external evidence of all the ways they don't.
This culminates in the time surrounding Ned's arrest, when her lack of faith in her father's decisions and her inability to process the conflicting information and events, has her overfocusing on her desired future outcome and not remotely enough on the clues in the present time. Her meeting with the small council is certainly not a shining moment.
This is not her normal mode of conduct, though.
When she is utterly disabused of her illusions about her environment after Ned's execution, she begins to return to her more observant, empathetic self. She has nothing to prove about her supposed maturity anymore since she failed hard already, she only wants to survive and protect what is left of her dignity. For all that she expends a great deal of energy on creating a false outward appearance, she is more in touch with herself on the inside than she was before. She still tends to suppress her grief in order to function, and she can still be blinded by her own desires over observable contradictions when she lets herself (Marry Loras? The new dress?) but it’s rare, and far outweighed by her more humble focus on the people around her.
