Learning to be whole [ep. highs and lows]
I'm learning to create and appreciate balance in every area of my life. Eze, last year or 2, 3 years ago would have had a meltdown, harboured simmering anger and despaired for days on end these past couple of weeks. I don't know where to start to describe the past few weeks dealing with epileptic power supply, lack of Internet access and cell coverage, disquietude, challenges with my work and in my living space, no provision for solitude and quiet reflection, my head just being in a near-constant state of restlessness and confusion. Frustrating, uplifting, creative, boring, fun, productive, happy, roller-coaster would suffice. Scatter many a moment of joyful abandon and hearty laughter in there :)
Unlike the past, though, I found myself going with the flow, feeling and communicating everything I felt. I've noticed that I allow myself to feel more these days and I express my emotions more or shall I say, better. (I'm still working on releasing anger and I haven't cried...yet - I don't know how to cry). But the best bit is, when I communicate what I feel, I get support, criticism, advice, love and it feels wonderful.
Presently, things seem difficult but I embrace all the challenges, feel and learn from all the downs, let go and enjoy the highs; remembering that each day comes with its own highs and lows, its own blessings, its own seeds and its own lessons for the future. They say, 'no pain, no gain', 'no rainbow without rain'. If our lives should be lived whole, we must embrace everything about it. What we deem negative/bad teaches us to know and appreciate what IS positive/good so in a way, we could say they breed positivity. Reading the first post on this blog today reminded me to be open, receptive and accepting, to learn to identify MY emotions, not second-hand feelings, and own them because I WILL live my life wholly, mindful and heartful. May I end by saying, "I'm proud of you Eze! Way to go!" :D
