#self-deprication

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whump Prompt #1704

Recovering whumpees who get so frustrated at the fact that they can’t do something, that they have to be not-so-kindly reminded that their leg was literally reconstructed* so maybe lay off the self-deprecating talk for a moment.

*or any other major injury/procedure.

[naminethewriter]

Lessons in Flirtation

Chapter 2: Which Leads to a Small Breakdown

I'm a day late, was too exhausted yesterday, but please enjoy Janus having a bit of a crisis after his talk with Logan 😅 @loceit-week

Masterpost | Previous | Next | Ao3

Summary: During one of the usual games of chess, Logan asks Janus for help with something unusual for him. Janus agrees, but maybe he just dug his own grave…

Content Warnings: Self-Deprication, Pining

~~*~~

Janus returns to his room after his game with Logan and takes a deep breath. Then he starts freaking out just a little bit.

Why had he just agreed to that??

He is the side to hoard secrets; his techniques should remain his! He had no reason to say yes; he’s not gaining anything from this!

On the contrary, this is detrimental to his own interests!

It snuck up on him over the last few weeks of his new arrangement with Logan to play a round of chess every once in a while, a compromise they reached to make sure that Logan takes breaks from his work and to satisfy Patton’s wishes for his famILY to get along. At first it had been a pleasant enough way to pass the time, a game that was not complete chaos (because Janus was used to playing with Remus), but it slowly evolved into him appreciating Logan’s company more and more.

Which had led to him developing a bit of a crush.

And now he had agreed to help his crush learn how to flirt with someone else!? Why had he done that?!?

…

He has to calm down.

Janus stops in his tracks — when did he start pacing anyway? — and takes more deep, deep breaths. Everything’s fine. Everything is just fine.

He can deal with this.

It’s not like he had a chance with Logan anyway. Not after how he had treated him during the wedding debacle.

Not that he had a choice. If he had let Logan participate in the trial, he would have argued every point he wanted to make, so he had benched him as quickly as possible. And after the wedding he needed some opening, a way to get closer unnoticed so he could interject when the time was right! And Patton had given him the golden opportunity! In his haste he might not have used the best method to take Logan’s place, but he had done so out of necessity!

When he had later gone to apologize to Logan, the other had seemed understanding enough (though he was also rubbing his red neck at the time). He had also accepted the bottle of wine Janus offered him. It was still tense between them, but at least that was better than the icy stares Roman gave him.

It was then Logan who approached him about the chess matches. Apparently, Patton had told him that he was at a loss for what to do to iron out the relationships in their famILY and brought up that Janus had mentioned to him that he enjoyed a game of chess. So, Logan’s logical solution was to spend a bit of time with Janus to play the game and Janus started using it as an excuse to pull Logan from his work when he got too stressed.

In all, yes, he has a friendly enough relationship with Logan at the moment, but it is mostly based on placating Patton and keeping Logan stress free.

Logan is tolerating him, nothing more.

Which is fine. He doesn’t deserve more.

And another reason why it is fine for him to help Logan. He owes him that much. Right?

Right.

It’s only right.

He just really wishes he knew who Logan meant. It is driving him wild! Logan’s face was unreadable when he talked about it, and Janus can’t tell when the others are lying when it doesn’t relate to Thomas. Whatever is going through Logan’s head is not connected to their core in the slightest.

It may even be that he doesn’t have a crush in the first place, though Janus is doubtful of that. Logan had been more absentminded recently, not only during their games but also during other activities like movie nights or meals. A developing crush would certainly explain his change in behavior.

But then who…?

No.

No, it is none of his business.

Logan owes him nothing, so he will rise to the task without asking more questions. His secrets are his as long as they don’t involve Thomas.

And they don’t, otherwise Janus would have been able to tell.

It’s fine.

Everything is just fine.

He can do this.

It’s not going to hurt.

It’s just helping a friend out.

Totally normal.

…

He’s so, so screwed.

[savetheflowers]

sun and moon

summer is the time when the sun sets late it kisses the soft waves with its golden rays at 10pm

I set with the sun and regret it every morning I didn’t see the moon because I was diving,  diving after the rays of the setting sun in my blankets

the moon is just as special as the sun, but fewer appreciate it.

the Earth revolves around the sun, all of our lives are centered around it 

the earth does not revolve around the moon, but she revolves around us 

she looks down at us,  she watches over us when we sleep, when we’re the most vulnerable, but she spreads less joy,  she’s always in the shadow of the bright sun. 

why is it that I am the moon in this scenario?

[rotoa]

i really don’t feel like i can trust people anymore

i suppose i put all of my hopes of happiness on them with the false wish of being able to trust them, only to fall flat and be disappointed

i’m such a sad person

[deepermadness]

I'd probably tell more self-depricating jokes if I wasn't so bad at them.

[tonystarktogo]

What if Tony gets really self-deprecating when he's drunk and goes "Never have I ever accidentally almost destroyed the world" in reference to Ultron and nobody realised how much he's still being himself up over this (and probably other things). It seems like the team doesn't often get glimpses of this side of him and I'd love to know how they'd react if they perhaps didn't even expect he had such a side (as many people don't).

I think comments like that could help the team in two ways. One, they could laugh them off, together. And by that I don’t mean Tony wouldn’t feel honest guilt (it’s Tony, his guilt issues have issues) but because in a life like theirs you have to be able to laugh it off and move on, that’s the only thing you can do. And they get that. It could help them share this sense of understanding. And through that better relate to Tony.

Then there’s the possibility that they really hear the self-deprecation and realise  how much the self-blame is wearing Tony down. Now whilst that realisation might range from a slap in the face to a confirmation of something they’ve already known (depending their relationship with Tony, their attentiveness etc), understanding doesn’t mean they know how to fix it. Emotionally and mentally stable isn’t exactly part of the usual Avengers’ profile.

So, since comforting isn’t their strength - and this isn’t the sort of problem that’s quickly resolved by a single word of reassurance anyways - they’ll go with distraction. Distracting by teasing Tony about something silly he’s guaranteed to be embarrassed by. Distracting him by sharing their own failures. Distracting by saying something nice to him. Distracting him by talking about the latest crazy shit that’s happened to them.

(Yes, I headcanon that they all have Avoidance issues with a capital ‘A’.)

Also, when Tony says “Never have I ever accidentally almost destroyed the world,” I’ll guarantee you, every single one of them drinks.

[ladybugbird]

I’m not exactly beautiful, and I’m definitely not anyone’s version of hot. I kind of hate myself, quite a lot. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I hate seeing my body. It makes me feel ill.

It takes one thing to trigger my mind into a spiral of over-thinking, and self-hate. One glance at my leg when it looks wrong to me, or even seeing one of my insanely beautiful friends who I just cannot compare to. I am the peasant to their Goddess.

I’ll never be good enough for anyone else, but I can probably live with that

I’m gonna have to