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het couple of the year maybe the decade even
Gender Identity
active, admirer, adult, ally, animal lover, authoritarian, babe, big brother, bitch, blessed, bondage, cat lover, closet queen, complex, confidant, counselor, creature, cunt, Democrat, deep stealth, demon, different, dog, dog lover, dominant, dreamer, dude, family-closeted, female impersonator, feminist, fightfucker, flirty, free, friend, friendly, gay-friendly, gender liberationist, hippie, human, indifferent, intelligent, liberal, little brother, lover, loving, Mr., male, male impersonator, not sure of others, philosopher, pro-gay, queer liberationist, queer-friendly, quiet, right-brained, romantic, Socialist, sensitive, sex positive, slut, spiritual, survivor, sweet, top, trustworthy, understanding, whore, wolf, XY
Architecture fever strikes me, again.
It's Irritating not being able to do what i wished for and aspiring to be.
I've taken a scholarship program to study geophysics in Germany. Well, some of the most might be envying and said how lucky i am.
But now..im pretty much suffering. I know i was meant to be an Architect after i taken 2 semester of Architecture program two years ago, which i left behind to chase this scholarship program. But..now i feels like a rat which trapped inside of a jar.
Every Time i see posts on my Facebook or Twitter..posts of my friends from architecture faculty-about the drawings and constructions which beauty inspires and motivates them, or their struggles to refine their very own quality..I feel stings inside myself.
Well not that i can change anything now that i've locked myself inside this jar..
at least in a formal education, i'll be able to scale myself and compete against my fellow friends to our own goals. Everyone who understands always says that the most important thing is that the thing you do and invests your time on makes you happy and content.
I hate it when anyone had to say it in front of my face.
All thing i wrote might be quite irrelevant coming from my otaku self..but i wish there's a chance for me to open the window once again and get myself involved in the world of Architecture.
It might be selfish..that i've picked this way by myself and wish to turn it all all over again. There are a lot of opened windows for me after i choose to go to here, like meeting some great new friends, visions, and chances. but it would be rather thrilling..
if i get to fullfill what i truly yearn to be.
In another World
Today I just survived a trip from another world. As an otaku, which is able to pretty much entertain himself wholefully, I was invited to go to a club last night. Well it’s not my first time gone to a club actually-where which the main importance of its existence (i think) is to ‘release’ yourself and simply be wild. I actually quite fond of its concept. But being an otaku as I am, this rare occasion was so awkward. The me who normally spends his whole day in front of his computer, drawing, watching anime, reading hentai mangas and fap to an eroge..gone to a club. I feel hella awkward. My friends whom invited me was considerate enough to understand what kind of person I am, and take me along. The view, the environment, the crowd and the noise..were alien to me. I tried to hook on some girls like my friends did, shaking their hips against the girls or makes her rubs her hips against his. Haha, trust me, I’ve tried it and got this “what the fuck?” stare from the girl I try to hit on. Even though the other friends of mine succeed on doing it.. Well I think an Otaku should know his place. Well what I take from being there for about 3,5 hours straight was, that I need to let it all out. What you want, do it. What you think, say it. That was the key.. I guess? Haha now i’m smirking myself, imagining my perversion runs wild. Anyway, I got this one girl to dance with me-which takes my all even just to rub my shoulder against her. We were so close, that I even sometimes step on her feet. What I do realize here : I don’t have the courage to touch her..no..it’s more like im eager to do it. Touching the girl and pulls her against yourself is the whole shit I see the whole night which is works. What’s wrong with me? Am I being chicken or something? Or.. I ACTUALLY simply do not have the desire to do it? It’s like trying to answer “okay, now you’ve touched her and pulls her against you..and then what?”
Well sounds actually stupid that its seemingly pretty clear. But by the time.. I simply can’t. Simply conclusing..comparing that club with my heavenly atelier..Which is now right before me: Well.. This is where I belong. In front of my desk, alone, and boom. The world behind eyelids shines before me.
Don’t lie to yourself. The place which makes you happy the most-even though its only a fabricated happiness-is the place where you belong.
When a girl takes a while to answer back, that means she's deliberately picking out her words for the guy she likes. It is also a way to make them wait for the girl's response since they've always made her wait. Or if they cared about her response.
Random encounter with a prison inmate at McGuane/Palmisano. Adrian, AKA Psycho. He had a devil's face tattooed on his right shoulder. I let him borrow my phone a few times to call the person he was meeting.