#self-naming

[margaretpattonchapman]

Two stories from my Novella-In-Flash, Bell and Bargain, have been excerpted in Fanzine.  The rest of it will be available as a part of My Very End of the Universe, coming out from Rose Metal Press in a few weeks!

[mathemagicaltreecat]

Re-naming myself. After a lengthy process of consideration and talking to myself in front of mirrors. =]

[quinnittowinit]

Scary stuff, wonderful stuff

Last night, I came out publicly on facebook about my name change. I’ve been going by Quinn for a while, primarily in my queer circles in Portland, but have a lot of people in my life who knew nothing about this until now. I was terrified to post something so vulnerable in such a public forum, and have been putting it off for months. The first 15 minutes after clicking “publish” were so full of stomach churning doubt and worry. What if people think this is some absurd attention thing? What if they read it and ignore what I'm asking? What if no one even reads it? Am I really ready to do this? And then something amazing started to happen. So many people from all parts of my life started responding in likes and comments, and it was all so affirming and kind. I heard from people I haven't spoken to in years and those who have been sharing in my nervousness about this whole process. It has been the perfect combo of not making a big deal, while still acknowledging that this is a big deal. My parents still don't know, and that will be the next hurdle, but for now, I am celebrating and crying and overwhelmed with gratefulness for the wonderfully kind and respectful people in my life. This morning as my heart exploded, I was reminded of a piece written by Kate/Kade for Autostraddle's "Butch Please" column. It was published right as I was beginning this name transition, and it held my heart so gently the first time I read it. The opening paragraph in particular has been so strength-giving for me, so here it is:

"Naming is powerful stuff. It’s an older magic, a potent magic. Give something a name and you are bound to it forever, with a red string tied between your heart and its finger. Names are the threads of intimacy, the words that usher us in and out of life. Nicknames pull us into friendships and bedrooms. They mark us as Other or align us with a clique. Many queer narratives invoke the rite of naming, because the act of naming yourself is also the act of re-birthing yourself, reclaiming yourself, peeling off the used husks of yourself and saying “This sticky part here, this is who I am”. Some of us cut away names like old bandages, or see the mirror image of families we’ve lost in names that are too tarnished to reflect. For some, the new name can say “I do not belong to the ones who hurt me or abandoned me. I belong to myself”. Or the name is a new word that is not weighed down by generations of color-coded baggage. This name removes its bearer from a history of gendered association. This name is all the bearer’s own. Some of us may have a single name, or many names, or names that they can only speak in safe spaces. They are all important, and they are all our very own."

http://www.autostraddle.com/butch-please-a-butch-by-any-other-name-154249/

Thanks trashydyke for sharing a piece of your existence that has helped me feel less afraid and less alone. I hope you don't tire of hearing about the positive impact of your words.