#self-restraint

[wayti-blog]

Grant that I may become beautiful in my soul within, and that all my external possessions may be in harmony with my inner self. May I consider the wise to be rich, and may I have such riches as only a person of self-restraint can bear or endure.

Plato

[allthesepurplelights]

[silyabeeodess]

12 You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.

1 Corinthians 6:12 (NLT)

[iceybiwriter]

if i have a kid i’m gonna make sure their middle name is “danger” just so that if they ever wind up as the main character in an action movie, they can say “danger is my middle name” and then follow up with “no, really. my mom has an awful sense of humor and no self-restraint when it comes to baby names.”

[rotationalsymmetry]

...I have to remind myself that a lot of the lgbtq+ stuff on tumblr is written by people way, way younger than I am -- teenagers, emerging adults -- and they’re often really new to all this, and I had a lot of bad takes at that age too, and you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. No matter how obnoxiously worded the invite is.

[themusingmuslim]

The merits of striving for self-restraint

Why strive for self-restraint? Why limit our desires? Is lust bad? I talk about these ideas in this musing.

Feelings and desires aren't necessarily bad because of their essences, but often because of how they manifest as behaviors.

In part, lust - sexual lust, for instance, to a certain extent, is simply a natural drive that makes us seek partners, it is tied to reproductive urges innate in humans. This is something deeply natural, and this is why celibacy is not considered a virtue in Islam, licit sexual intimacy however, is.

But when lust exceeds its proportions beyond measure, as in, when it ceases to be a means to an end and becomes an end in itself, when it becomes the focal point of our daily lives, it then often manifests as misery self-imposed, for ourselves, and sometimes, extends from us towards others, affecting them as well.

The Quran mentions the case of individuals who worship their own desires, depriving themselves of good as a consequence of those choices:

"Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire..." [45:23]

Does happiness lie in being controlled by one's whims and passions, helpless in the face of them? Or is being in charge of one's passions the better ideal to try to live up to? I often ponder on the possible answers to this question, and I'll let the reader decide for themselves. Indeed, this sort of self-discipline is something Muslims try to practice throughout Ramadan through fasting, seeking to make it an ideal of life for themselves, despite their failings as erring human beings.

What do the guidelines on Islamic lifestyle and self-discipline have to say about this? Because it’s not always as simple as it sounds, and perhaps, one is not always in control, sometimes one is trapped in a cycle.

In Islamic thought, lustful intents and drives aren't inherently bad. Acting upon them outside of permissible contexts, however is. A person will only be judged by their actions and behaviors, not their thoughts, feelings, drives and attractions that they feel inside and keep to themselves.

The Prophet said, in a more general context, once said that:

"God forgives my people for whatever crosses their minds as long as they do not act upon it, or speak of it."

Therefore, if one disciplines one’s tendencies towards lust through self-restraint, they will be rewarded, because lust can sometimes be a trial through which we might be tested as to how we respond to those promptings.

In all cases, it's not perfection that's expected of us, but sincere, consistent effort, and since to err is human, and we all fail to abide by the ideal sometimes, the doors to sincere repentance are always open, even if lust is something that a person repeatedly struggles with, falling into it again and again. A sentiment brought out by the following saying of the beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):

“All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best sinners are those who repent.”

Or the Quranic reminder in [39:53]

"Say, ‘[God says], My servants who have harmed yourselves by your own excess, do not despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is truly the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful."

Pursuit of lust is often experienced as a footloose, momentary fulfillment, experienced as moments of extreme thrill followed by pits of extreme despair and self-loathing. Whether it’s an enduring pleasure is questionable. Many will tell you out of experience that it’s not something that lasts, or ages well.

Striving towards self-discipline and striving towards taming our desires so as to express them meaningfully within licit contexts, however, is a more lasting fulfillment.

[dk-thrive]

It’s all ego

When you are forced to acknowledge mortality, you stop wasting time. Modesty, restraint, self-respect, all that is garbage. It’s all ego. I don’t have time for it. Nobody does.

~ Katya Apekina, The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish (Two Dollar Radio. September 17, 2018) 

[egoschwank]

al things considered — when i post my masterpiece #1563

first posted in facebook march 24, 2026

carl larsson -- "bathroom scene" (1909)

"for these pictures are of course a very genuine expression of my personality, of my deepest feelings, of all my limitless love for my wife and children" … carl larsson

"for these posts are of course a very whimsical expression of my persona, of my random notions, and of all my limited interest in anything around me … that said, you got to admire the self-restraint carl larsson displayed by not waiting just a couple seconds more before beginning this painting, no?" … al janik