#selfship discourse

[uss-moonveil]

I haaaaaaate when people try to use f/o’s to shame people. If you post any variation of “your f/o would hate you if [x]” you suuuuuuuuuuuuuck🖕

[dear-cloud-heart]

I think people who do rpf selfshipping forgot the true meaning of selfship bc your f/o is supposed to be FICTIONAL not IRL prerson that you have parasocial relationship with

Meanwhile, us selfshippers with live action characters getting accuse of rpf instead of actual rpf selfshippers is such a stupid double standard

[reebroswaifu]

Genuine question How is the term "yumeshiping" racist?? Because the ONLY thing that ive heard was "because its a Japanese word and people think that term sounds cuter" and then they dont explain any further.

[enter-the-phantom]

I need someone to please explain to me why yall have suddenly started calling it “yumeshipping” when it’s had an established name for literally as long as fandom has been around.

Because it’s giving fetishization and cultural appropriation of the Japanese language bc you think it sounds cute. It’s giving “I’m embarrassed to be associated with the word ‘selfship’”. It’s giving “I want the benefits and fun of this particular subculture while acting ashamed of its actual name”.

Seriously. I have yet to see one single explanation behind this new term you’ve just all adopted overnight that makes any amount of sense.

[nekoqueenalice]

Can We Talk About Toxic Non-Sharing Self-Shippers For A Second? 💀

Okay so I need to get something off my chest about a certain type of self-shipper behavior that's been bothering me lately.

Look, if you're a non-sharing self-shipper and you're uncomfortable with someone else shipping with the same character as you, that's totally fine! Just block them and move on, curate your own space, do what you need to do for your comfort. I completely respect that and there's nothing wrong with having those boundaries.

But when non-sharing self-shippers start acting like those old "SANS fangirl" types and HARASSING people who have the same F/Os?? Yeah no, I can't tolerate that shit 💀

Some of these toxic non-sharing self-shippers (and honestly some people who ship their OCs with characters too) will go as far as trying to "prove" why the character loves them and ONLY them. They'll be out here like "IF YOU DARE LOVE MY F/O I WILL KILL YOU" and actually make killing videos or art of your irl self, your persona, your OC, whatever - just because you happen to like the same fictional character!

That's not protecting your comfort, that's straight up harassment and threatening behavior! And I can't promise I'll be kind to people who act like that, especially if they come at me or my mutuals with that energy.

Look, I get that some people see their F/Os as real partners and have genuine emotional connections to them - that's valid and I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings! But no matter how real those feelings are, it doesn't justify threatening or harassing actual real people over it. Your comfort with your F/O shouldn't come at the expense of someone else's safety.

There's a huge difference between "I prefer not to interact with people who share my F/O" and "I'm gonna harass and threaten anyone who dares to like the same character as me." One is a boundary, the other is bullying.

And just to be clear - I don't hate non-sharing self-shippers at all! I actually have non-sharing self-shipper friends and they're super cool and respectful! They just block and move on if they see someone with the same F/O, they don't make it everyone else's problem or start sending threats. THAT'S how you handle it like a normal person!

But the ones who take it to that extreme toxic level and act like they own a character? Yeah, I'm gonna call that out because it's not okay and it makes the whole self-ship community look bad.

Please don't come after me for this take - I just don't want people getting harassed for liking the same characters! And I'm sorry if this post comes across as me hating all non-sharing self-shippers, because that's definitely not what I'm trying to say! I just have an issue with the ones who take things way too far and hurt others.

Anyway, that's my rant. If you're a non-sharing self-shipper who just minds your business and blocks when needed, you're cool with me! But if you're out here making death threat art over fictional characters, maybe log off and touch some grass 💀

[blixerswife]

nonsharers are chill but i need some of them to stop posting about how much they hate doubles. block and move on, ruminating about other people’s existence isn’t going to help you process your feelings about the topic

what you're seeing is people venting. unless they are directly venting about another user, there is no harm in a nonsharer venting about how much they hate seeing doubles as a whole.

speaking from personal experience here, i'm fictosexual and aroace. i view my main f/o as an actual romantic partner. it is a fucking punch to the gut to see doubles. so yeah, i vent about it. and you know what? it does help. because having support from my moots and friends after i vent is helpful.

you don't get to control what other people post. you can be mad about it, sure; freedom of speech, not freedom of consequence. but maybe take your own advice. since you hate seeing us vent so much, fuckin block us, anon.

next time you have some bullshit to say about nonsharers, say it to my face without hiding behind anon.

anyways guys my selfship blog is @cherubimcryptid !! i'll probably post more nonsharer positivity posts because i am. Sick of these folks coming in ask boxes and the main tags and ranting about nonsharers as a whole.

[dusk-the-fallen]

I’m tired of people acting like you can control which fictional characters you’re attracted to or how you’re attracted to them.

I straight up saw someone say “Don’t simp (as in be attracted to) for this character it’s disrespectful!” and oh my god stfu that is not how it works.

[rainbowtvz]

simp is aave. stop misusing aave. (literally just look up "what is aave carrd" and figure it out.)

doubles is a kinnie term. as a kin myself, yes i am gatekeeping that word. people who share your f/os are not doubles because it inherently implies that you AND the sharer are somehow the same person whether that's both BEING your f/o or you have the same s/i. you are not using it correctly. it's annoying and confusing. doubles is a derogatory term anyway for people who share your kins that you do not like. (kintwins would be for people you do like.)

^ i've been on kinblr and numerous other otherkin AND fictionkin spaces i know what i'm talking about.

minority coding is important. if your f/o is coded as being a minority and you do not acknowledge that then you need to re-examine that. yes this is about trans headcanons too.

^ two examples: chihiro from dangan ronpa being a poorly written but widely accepted transfem character. and danny phantom having a common headcanon as being transmasc. the first one if you discard chihiro being a transfem and make her a guy, cis or trans, it's erasing her identity. this is transmisogyny at worst and ignorant as fuck at best. the second one if you discard this headcanon or make it so danny is transfem instead, it has no greater impact or implication of prejudice or bigotry. vice versa, their headcanons about danny's gender has literally 0 impact on your interpretation of his character and his gender. you do not have to subscribe to those headcanons and can go with your own or go with canon, but you need to re-examine why exactly you very specifically do not like those headcanons.

^ people projecting transness onto characters they like is often to find representation in them, or for coping, or both, to deny them of that because you simply disagree is.. odd and speaks volumes. cis selfshippers please think critically about that. i feel a lot of you are detached from overall fandom ettiquette and common ways for queer people to engage with media outside of the hyperspecific bubble that is selfshipping. we're all gonna annoy each other (selfshippers and nonselfshippers) at some point but painting yourself as being transphobic because you view your f/o as cis Only is only going to cause you grief. let people enjoy things. you don't have to look at it, just like they don't have to look at your stuff. this is okay.

plaese for the love of god please stop putting your vents in the community tags. (i've blocked or have been blocked by a majority of the people who do this but its making it feel dreary here.)

if u harass others for doing/saying something you don't like or agree with or for someone having an opinion about something you care about or about you in particular (that they aren't even being public about) then you suck and maybe u should at least take a break if not just leave entirely. (sideeyes some people)

blocking is a tool to affirm boundaries. people are allowed to block whoever they want, whenever they want, for whatever reason they want. and it's okay for you to do the same. it's okay for people to not like each other. not everybody IS going to like you and that's okay too.

callouts are for people doing active harm, or people who HAVE done active harm who have not grown and changed as a person since they did it. nobody care if they vagued u bc u share an f/o. practice utilizing the blocking tool. ^ this is not about wishing harm on others or stalking this is about petty shit that does not fall under that lol

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

pro/com/etc shippers please smash your computer into dust no one likes you or wants you here