and now imagine an au where ogred the criminal lives in a swamp not far from a little kingdom called deecee. he is very isolated and everybody is terrified of him but then one day exiled criminal weirdos flood his home bc the purist, pathologically anti-crime and by-the-book wannabe king lordonald can't even stand the sight of them. he wants a perfect, clean kingdom, so he exiles every imperfect, unclean subject to the swamp. but ogred is like "no thanks. i love my peace and quiet, so let's get you all back to where you came from". he meets donkeybe who shows him the way to deecee where they win the tournament and lordonald promises to take the criminals back if ogred rescues the girl he wants to marry to become a real king. ogred & donbe accept the deal and off they go to rescue princess lizzie who is not too keen to become queen and whose kleptomania and other assorted dark/criminal tendencies flare up each night and only a true love's kiss can help her w/ this problem. she is rescued and she & ogred fall in love on their way back. she confesses to donbe how she is disgusted with her dark side. ogred - about to confess his love for her - overhears their convo but misunderstands it and thinks she is disgusted with him, so he delivers her to lordonald and goes back to his swamp, heartbroken. donbe however doesn't let him wallow and tells him she wasn't talking about him and he should hurry bc she is getting married to the wrong guy. so they race to deecee and ogred interrupts the ceremony to tell lizzie that lordonald only wants to marry her to become king. the sun sets and lizzie's kleptomania kicks in. she steals a bunch of stuff from the guests and it all falls out of her wedding gown. lordonald - upon discovering her criminal inclinations - rejects her, saying that she is tainted. he orders ogred to be killed and lizzie to be locked up. donbe & friends come to the rescue. ogred and lizzie kiss. during the kiss she compulsively steals his watch, then sheepishly gives it back, apologizing. he tells her there is nothing wrong with her and that she is perfect as she is - thieving and all that. they get married in the swamp and live happily ever after. the end