Friends can break up with you too.
We’re used to romantic relationship breakups, and they hurt, they really hurt. But I’ve come to realization, that friendship breakups are way more heart breaking.
You meet this person out of nowhere and you match. You tell them your secrets and dreams, and talk about everything (maybe not all the time) but when you talk after a long period of time, it seems like the time gap never really existed.
3 a.m. talks about “What if” scenarios; about what unanimated object would you be if you had the chance; the significance of life and existence; long talks about what’s out there in outer space; lypsinc in the car, even if you don’t live any close to each other; broken hearts venting and so much more.
And one day, without any explanation, you’re erased from their lives, as if you you never existed, like if those long 14 years of friendship never happened.
It might have been my fault when I got so sick that I couldn’t talk about anything else, because I was (still am) dealing with so much, that few people understand, or understand nothing, but still, they are there willing to listen or read you, or just tell you to keep on fighting.
I was there for you. I was so happy for your achievements. I never envied you. I admired you. I was always there when that Spaniard girl broke your heart into tiny little pieces and help you to lift up, and walked with you for your recovery.
You ran away when I needed you. When things got so overwhelming for you to deal with someone else’s shit. Silly me when I thought I wasn’t just “someone else”.
I really thought we’ll be friends forever, that I will attend to your wedding, and you will attend to mine; I thought when we were old and cranky, we’ll be fooling around in our wheelchairs at the retirement home.
And without any explanation, you stopped talking to me, to texting me and went to ignore me. I tried to reach you, but you never responded back. You were always that guy who replied once in a blue moon, and didn’t take it as a big issue.
And then you blocked me from every social media, and didn’t even had the guts to tell me that that you didn’t wanted to be friends anymore with me, and I still wonder why.
Maybe I became too toxic for you, and you didn’t wanted to speak to me because your life was going up and stabilizing, and you were feeling better to deal with my endless bullshit.
But isn’t what real friends are for?
To support each other in their darkest times.
I know I will forever miss you. But I also know you won’t miss me at all.
You broke my heart. You really did.
You just ditched me like if all these years meant nothing. Like if I was just a random person, or a thing that needed to be thrown at the garbage bin.
Despite of all, I don’t wish you bad, and I never will. On the opposite, I wish you the best life. I hope your dreams come true and became the person you always wanted to be.
I would just have liked to be there to celebrate with you.
But I guess it was not meant to be.
I really wish you the best from the bottom of my heart.
I will forever miss you, and I will forever love you.
Have a beautiful life, my old friend.
The time has come to become strangers again.
You might forget me, but I will never do.