#serfino

[thestalkerbunny]

I’m gonna talk about the Inverted Pantheon for a second because I’m doing some Inverted Pantheon art and I remember this gif from Adventure Time

And that is Serfino’s whole mood. The minute someone comes down into the Underworld and the Planes of Eternal Flame trying to make a deal with him only to be a freaky creep-o (like some 34 year old guy wanting the marriage hand and love of a 14 year old in exchange for service to Serfino) they get thrown into the general population that is Hell’s Jail where you will be stabbed a bunch of times.

Like the mortal population will be so focused on the fact that he’s in charge of hell and will punish you when you go to hell for being a bad person-you forget that he is also the Patron of Jails and Wardens. Just because the man is the devil doesn’t mean he doesn’t have morals and standards for appropriate behavior. He can and will call out and punish wrong behavior.

[thestalkerbunny]

I had to redo the entire thing, but here it is, The Inverted Pantheon Calendar before the year is out so we can start 2021 with new astrological signs because maybe that’s what we need to change to fix up the year’s juju. Because apparently blaming our actions on being a Scorpio isn’t an acceptable excuse anymore.

How to figure out your sign-

1-Take the year you were born. For example, 1996 (my birth year.)

2-If your Birth year ends in a Odd Number, your sign is that of a Patron (1, 3, 5, 7, 9, etc.). If your Birth year ends in an Even Number, your sign is a god (2, 4, 6, 8, etc.) So for 1996, the end number is 6, which is a god.

3-Apply your birth month to the calendar. so for December 1996-that would be Ivo, the God of Space.

4-Blame your personal problems and unattractive flaws on being born under that sign

5-profit.

[thestalkerbunny]

TFW when your main lover leaves you for a BUSTED MIRROR.

[thestalkerbunny]

I don’t know if I’ll finish lining this today or what, but it’s important to remember

Serfino literally left the Goddess of Life and Fertility to go fuck a Mirror Faced Chimera who causes misfortune involuntarily

[thestalkerbunny]

I’m just sitting here thinking that hypothetically if I ever ran a campaign where the Inverted Pantheon was involved, eventually the party WOULD ABSOLUTELY get a gift box of some kind from Serfino and it comes with some stuff you’d expect from a Demon lord who is rewarding you for some quest you did for him. The big prize being an imp that imprints on one of the party members and now is their loyal familiar, a tome of magic spells (written by Serfino himself, but the author’s name is an anagram of Serfino, S. R. Fineo) Some gold and platinum pieces, probably a sort of Ghost Rider style whip made of chains that has fire magic on it-

but the most mundane is just a pair of trick handcuffs, like the kind you get in a little kid’s magician’s kit that has a lever that’ll undo the cuffs. And the party can scratch their heads for a while because everything from the box has been fantastical and worth something, but this is just a cheap pair of ‘broke handcuffs’ and if the person examining it rolls high enough-they’ll notice it’s actually a brand name engraved on it is the phrase ‘What Yvonne Did’

Cut to the party going to town, someone eventually will ask about it and be directed to a store called ‘What Yvonne Did’

It’s a high end sex shop. The cuffs are actually worth a pretty penny if you want to sell it back to the store because if you rub off the blackish paint on it, you’ll find they’re made out of gold.

The Patron Master of Hell gifted you. A pair of trick sex hand cuffs. That he painted black to disguise the fact they’re made out of gold.

Good job, whatever you did.

[thestalkerbunny]

Patron of Hell, Demons and Wardens, Serfino

Serfino is immediately what every fearful mortal thinks of when you bring up 'Warlock Patron'. Demonic, twisted, evil, his image is what is dredged up to propagate against Warlocks and those in the pursuit of Warlockhood. Serfino is often depicted as a giant horrifying demon of flaming hair and a thousand and one teeth with multiple heads. With a lust for torture and pain, his one true purpose is to drag the righteous approved deity fearing folks down into his domain to mutilate for his pleasure.

Serfino is actually the equivalent of an over worked, perpetually exhausted Warden of a jail he never wanted that's just as horribly understaffed. Hell, The Underworld, The Abyss, The Burning Planes of Eternal Pain-whatever mortal culture wants to call it, is actually an elaborate prison for evil. True evil that has no right or purpose to be in the mortal plane-evil that will inhabit mortals and spark in their minds to do terrible things. It is Serfino's job to monitor this place dutifully and make sure that wickedness STAYS down there and that those who are in need of punishment and to purge their sins are cleansed correctly so their soul can reenter the reincarnation cycle of this world. However, because it's such a massive chaotic place and so understaffed, leaks and 'prison breaks' often happen resulting in evil escaping and entering the mortal realm.

That is where Serfino's Warlocks come in. Acting as dutiful hellish bounty hunters, they seek out evil and drag it back to hell-sort of like Ghost Rider or Hell Raiser, depending. Serfino's Warlocks are the most feared and crowds often part the way as they are always Warlocks on a mission-for in exchange for serving Serfino, Serfino can purify their soul bit by bit, eliminating past transgressions providing they are not too heinous and ensure their entrance into an afterlife. Some Warlocks simply serve him because they enjoy the aesthetics of the job. Some are rather disappointed with how 'plain' Serfino dresses and appears compared to the illustrations given him-but he is still regarded as -ahem-one of the more fuckable Patrons. And because of this sort of, well, the Tiefling race can trace it's orgins back to Serfino in various trysts Serfino has had with mortals. It's believed the reason why he wears a collar and cuffs with hooks to attach chains to is that it is a symbol for how trapped and chained down he is to this duty thrust upon him.

Serfino is credited for penning numerous grimores and demonic texts used in magic. Theses books are rare and hard to find because Gundrunists are often fervent about burning them as they are 'evil'. This doesn't seem to stop him from giving his Warlocks access to copies of these books to spread and make use of. Serfino also penned a magic book what he jokingly called 'The Patron Phonebook' as it is a concise guide and instructional manual for how to serve the Patrons correctly, how to contact them with little problem, rituals and incantations to enhance the bond between Patron and Warlock. There are currently only 5 of these books left in the world found in the largest of temples to all the Patrons-much similar to how there are there are temples to all the gods for equal opportunity worship (the temples to the Patrons are often found BENEATH the temple to the gods, kept behind lock and key.) Serfino is often referred to as the Patron of Authors and Forbidden Knowledge. Warlocks who please him and crave knowledge get access to his personal private library.

Serfino is unfortunately bored with many things-and considers his job his own personalized hell. Because of how repetitive his job is day in and day out, he craves change that never comes. Although he is productive and sociable; if Serfino were a mortal examined by a health professional they would find that his level of Apathy would borderline as a early sign of Depression. And the idea of a deity whose one job is to make sure evil doesn't escape into the world embracing the idea that it doesn't care if it's alive or not is terrifying. He frequently tries to find new indulgences to amuse himself with; ranging from playing games, music or sex.

Albiet most of these stories are gossip between warlocks regarding the Patrons-it's said that Serfino, horribly bored with having the God Alma as a sexual partner abandoned her mid coitus out of lack of interest. And ironically, he found new companionship in the Patron Delor, making an unusual coupling of a patron who is often regarded as very handsome and one who is regarded as very unattractive and ugly. Serfino apparently finds Delor exciting as they are an entity of near pure Entrophic possibilities with something new and strange happening in quick succession by being in their presence.

[thestalkerbunny]

Now i really want to know how she lost her eyes.

There actually is mythology behind it; Here’s the short of it.

Delilah shot Delor with one of her magic arrows as prank to make them fall in love with one of the gods; which ended up being the god of Peace, Tybylt.

Tybylt, despite being a peaceful god, is a very aggressive and quick to anger god when it comes to his personal peace being disrupted and a giant misfortune god, doting and showering him with attention and affections was ruining that.

Tybylt eventually ended up punching Delor in the face after being fed up with them and shattered the glass. Some of the glass ended up getting Delilah’s eyes. It caused her such pain that she begged the person nearest to her to pluck them out. Unfortunately, the nearest person was the Patron of Hell, Serfino, who is well known to take requests very literally unless given further instruction. Serfino ultimately plucked out Delilah’s eyes and later gave them to Delor as a gift. (which is why Delor often uses eye shaped imagery on their amulets they give to Warlocks)

[thestalkerbunny]

Is there a holiday of some kind for Delor's child?

There is no known day for Delor’s child. It is noted that on one specific day of the year always within the month that falls into Delor/Prospero’s jurisdiction, the rain falls exceptionally hard and long all day long.

Despite it taking a day away from everyone with it being impossible to do anything outside, the following week is the most fertile of days for planting-as the rivers swell with the rain water to bring rich soil to the show.

There’s also a very beautiful weeping willow tree that grows just on the outside the property for a small farm-which is unusual for the area since Willow trees don’t survive in that area. The Owner of the Farm notes that the family story is that at one point a couple came to bury a box at the base of a sapling and that the current head of the family and his son offered to help to dig the hole. The farm since then has lived under strange protective sigils that the man carved into the house and the barn’s door frame-even in the worst of times when evil entities fear thru the land, the farm is unscathed. It’s also noted that the children of the family have made dolls for generations to play with; allegedly the ‘woman’ who visited all those years ago with the man to bury the box showed the daughters of the house to make the dolls out of scraps of things laying around. Children who carry these dolls never worry about predators or abductors and play in safety as long as they carry these dolls.