⟢ bittersweet :: two
✦ ✦ ✦
note: i haven't written in so long wow / not beta read
naturally, you've been avoiding you're friends since that day, just like you avoided most of your problems.
even sero who had comforted you was left on read a number of times. you stopped answering the texts, you stopped answering calls. and eventually, they stopped too. it hurt, but it made sense, it was your own fault for assuming they'd needed you or something like that.
kirishima, bakugo, sero, denki, they were all so fucking brilliant, so different from you. it felt like you were constantly trying too keep up, from something as serious as school to simple as learning you were behind.
it was so fucking embarrassing to think about, everytime you saw one of them in passing, expectedly in their normal pairs walking without a care in the world, happy, without you. but like you'd said, it was better this way.
"-me" you blinked.
"[name]!" midoriya spoke, your classmate shaking you out of your head.
"uh, yes? sorry, what did you say?" the green haired man only looked at you strangely, a concerned expression coming onto his face.
"i asked if you felt ready for tomorrow's presentation, but by the looks of it, you aren't."
you immediately cringed, a pang of guilt pressing against your heart. "sorry midoriya, i was just thinking. i promise i am, you don't need to worry about me!" a strained smile rested on your face.
izuku wasn't convinced but thankfully he decided not to press it.
"okay...well ill see you tomorrow at 7 right?"
you nodded in determination, this wasn't something you could slack on, midoriyas grade relied on you.
"of course, i'll see you then." the green haired man then left you in the library to your own thoughts.
you breathed a sigh of relief and slid your head against the table. at least that part of the day was over.
"oi, [Name]! you shot up from your position, the voice sounded all to familiar.
"bakugo?" you stutter, practically in disbelief.
"fuck are you doing here." the man swallows though you don't notice it, he hasn't seen your face in weeks, you look tired, it scares him.
"i-,l you start then think again. "i'm just leaving actually." and with that you spring up from your seat, making a mad dash for the exit, but not before the blonde could catch your arm.
"and leaving to where exactly, huh?" you whip back to him, your face striken with fear, he flinches slightly and loosens his grip, giving you a chance to yank free from his arms.
he was mad at you, you knew he would be. bakugo you think had liked you the least out of all of them. maybe it's why he grabbed your attention first, he was magnetic in a way you couldn't describe. unbelievably strong, incredibly smart, athletic, attractive, the list goes on.
but of course, his personality was like talking to a brick wall sometimes. it wasn't uncommon you'd catch yourself rattling on to him, hoping to fill any awkward silence and he'd be completely silent staring at you with the most bored expression you could possibly imagine.
it wasn't his fault, only that him along with his other best friends invited you into their lives so quickly it almost felt like you had to compete in history against him.
it was worse because of the massive crush you had on him, one he could probably tell you had.
god, you couldn't think about this right now.
"nowhere, anywhere but here, really." you don't wait for a response and instead run towards the door in the direction of your car just outside the building.
bakugo doesn't even get the chance to react before you're gone, his fists tighten in disapproval. your face, what the fuck was that? god he's been dying to see you, practically screamed when he saw you sitting in the library, a frame he could recognize anywhere.
then like every other time since that night you sprinted in the other direction at the sight of him, of any of them really.
bakugo was at a loss, exactly what had transpired between that day and now for you to become so avoidant of him? it's true you seemed a little shaken when you were outside and even after sero had talked you back inside (after you'd obviously been crying) you were quiet and distracted in a way the shared weed couldn't fully excuse.
you'd barley said anything the rest of the night, and was practically itching to leave, since it was sero's place, kirishima was your ride. bakugo and him lived together.
bakugou had thought now that the two of you were alone you'd have a chance to tell them what was on your mind, that was far from the case.
"[name]" kirishima had mumbled, a hand reaching for your lower back. "You good?" his eyebrows carved deeply into his eyes.
You then, rather oodly, glanced between the two of them, removing Kirishimas palm from your back.
"Yeah, just tired." but your voice cracked when you said it, a watery sort of cough coming from you.
They both shared a look of disapproval but choose to move on from it, you were clearly already in a bad mood for reasons unknown to them, better to not make it worse.
you'd said nothing the rest of the ride back home however. kirishima attempted to slide some answers out of you but you had a knack for avoiding the questions, eventually you made it home still very high but thankful the night was almost over.
before you rushed to leave kirishima waved you over from the drivers seat, you would have pretended not to see him if he didn't practically scream your name from the car. you cringed but stepped over in front of bakugos window anyways, he was looking at you, hard.
your stomach churned but you ignored it, this would be over soon enough, these feelings of rejection, your hopeless beating heart when you looked at him. it would all be done soon.
"hey uhm, if you're feeling any better, on sunday me and the rest of us are going to Palooza's. ill pick you up?" kirishima said, hopeful, he wasnt sure what had happened tonight but he needed to make it better, Palooza's was a lie, one he hoped you would buy.
you nodded uncommittly, "sure, ill text you." and you turned around before either of them could respond.
bakugo trailed your figure as you walked into your apartment. "fuck was that about."
kirishima put his vehicle back in drive, "you tell me dude."
✦ ✦
you'd never texted, not that you planned too.
kirishima drove by but you forced mina to tell him you weren't feeling good, insisting it was contagious but fine ; you seriously couldn't speak to him at the moment.
"alright well then tell her to text me back at least."
although that never happened, much to kirishimas demise.
the one good thing about your classes this semester was that you shared none with the males, which of course made it all the more easy to avoid them. the run in you had with bakugo today was a mistake, something that wouldn't happen again you hoped.
eventually you made it to your apartment safely and immediately dropped your things into your room for later, it had been a long day of detours and deflection.
right now, all you needed was a nice long nap.
mina, your lovely pink haired roommate was here to stop that via a clipped knock on your door.
you sigh, "come in!" and the wooden door whips open to reveal her looming over you in concern.
"[name], you're here early.." she starts tentatively walking around to sit on your bed.
you shrug, continuing to lie face first on the mattress. "finished early."
mina huffs, clearly unconvinced. "something happen? something you need to tell me about?"
you shake your head into the pillow. "'nope."
mina stares at you for a second too long. "[name], i know you're not okay. they've been asking about you. denki's gonna end up trying to sneak in here if you don't say something sooner or later, i can't keep lying for you because you suddenly want to ignore your friends."
her comment makes you twitch, "their not my friends their yours, and i haven't been ignoring them i just.." you trail off, voice clogged while trying to think of a reason that wouldn't shred your dignity any further.
mina raises an eyebrow, "just...?"
"i used too like bakugo." you blurted suddenly, shocked at your own boldness.
mina's jaw dropped but you rambled on before she could speak. "it was a while ago. well, not really. like 3 weeks kinda."
"and you've been running from them for about.."
"yeah." you nod, unable to make eye contact with the woman but simultaneously unable to stop talking.
"he's great—your one of his closest friends im sure you know but mina I—" the memory of bakugo's calmed face looking at kirishimas everscent smile, god you feel fucking sick.
"I think he's g–" a loud DING DONG makes you jump from your bed a little, glancing at mina she looks towards the exit of your room, annoyed.
"ill be right back." she doesn't say more before climbing out of bed towards the front door.
you shook you self a bit, shame creeping over you as you realized what you were about to do, what if mina didn't already know? sure they were close friends but that didn't mean she knew everything about him.
as far as you knew, bakugo was a cocky (rightfully so) sometimes mean physics major you wished would notice you. there was no mentions of his sexuality to the world not that you had ever gotten particularly close with him to gain that sort of information.
you've only talked for a semester, a single semester of wishful hoping and surface level bonding that didn't equate to you possibly outing him.
let alone kirishima who you would have to explain to mina why you even assumed it was him, which would result in you telling her it was because he smiled at him but it wasn't a normal smile but one with weed and emotions and lots of context involved with why you thought bakugo was gay and completely in love with his best friend.
fuck, even saying it in your head now sounded crazy.
you took in a deep breath, wishing your head would shut up even just for a second.
mina came back with a slightly more sour look on her face.
"who was it?" you asked cautiously.
the woman sighed gruffly, visibly fed up. "denki. like i said, he was practically through the doorway when i opened it, once again asking, and i quote "'where his prettiest best friend went'"
"fuck.." you mumbled, looking down.
"yeah fuck." mina repeated rather sarcastically. you glanced up at her, apologetic but she started before you could.
"look, [name], i know this is difficult for you, thats..i mean what you told me...i had no idea, and im greatful that you did. don't worry i won't say anything so you can wipe that look off your face." and you did, a small smile replacing the worried creases between your head.
"but i need you to talk to them, you can't keep running away from things that make you uncomfortable, and plus it's not like he knows right? to them it just looks like your ghosting, it's not like you gave them any real reason to dislike you..so don't get all in your head about it okay?" you felt like crying, out of guilt, out of love.
"how—how you know how to say stuff like that.."
mina laughed, the bright noise filling the silence of your room. "i dunno [name], honestly did you hear anything i just said?"
you nodded, "yeah, i did. ill talk to them. thanks mina." the pink haired woman smiled and pressed you into a warm hug.
"no problem lovebug." and she stood from her position to leave, "and one more thing [name]?"
you glanced up from your lap.
"they're your friends too."
✦ ✦
you started with kirishima first, he was the sweetest. and although you were slightly jealous of his proximity to bakugo you chose to realize the finality of your situation.
so what if bakugo liked kirishima? for one he was a great guy, overly enthusiastic about everything, athletic, supportive—god you felt guilty about even making him worry about you.
you took a deep breath, knocking on the door to his house, your heart speeding at a million miles per hour.
you were contemplating turning and running before the door swung open, kirishima standing in the door.
he gasps, his eyes lighting up like fireworks "[name]!
"hey..uhm kirishima." you stutter, not expecting the energy. "sorry, uh, can I come in?"
the red head doesn't miss a beat. "of course, oh my gosh i thought you had disappeared forever, wait katsuki's here to lemme—"
you blink, panicking, "wait what—? no don't-!" you try but kirishima isn't paying any attention.
"KAT! COME HERE, [NAME] IS HOME!"
kirishima drags you into the living room unable to contain himself he pulls you into a tight hug right against his chest, he smells like comfort food and sweat. "sorry, do i stink? god, I–I just missed you [name].."
"I..no..no your good i just.." you don't finish as bakugo approached the area, hair ruffled slightly, white tee lifted slightly past his hips and cheeks red.
the air is suddenly tenser, bakugo was not in your plans to recover your friendships, you wanted to do this one at a time, and you planned to save bakugo for last. why was he here anyways? he didn't live here, did he?
their best friends [name], why wouldn't he be here?
you observed the males again. flushed cheeks, sweaty bodies, ruffled hair. you blushed deeply, trying not too let your thoughts linger on what they could have been doing before you got here.
"well well well, look who finally decided too show their face around here." that got him an elbow from kirishima but you weren't offended, it was pretty shitty of you to show up now, weeks after you'd ghosted them.
you cleared your throat, prepared for kirishima at least. "yeah, sorry about that. i uhm, i actually just came to apologize to you, to both of you now i guess uhm—"
"so what, only shitty hair was the one getting an apology? too scared to say something to me?"
you hesitated, "i–no that's not what's happening here. I was going to apologize to everyone, you included i just..."
"just what?—OW!" bakugo sneered, arms crossed.
kirishima pinched the mans shoulder, glaring at him in a way you knew would shut him up. "bro, knock it the fuck off. yn? go ahead, we'd love to hear you."
you clasped your hands together, trying to remember what you planned to say. "okay uhm yeah well, like i've already said im really sorry for just, disappearing on you guys like that and if you'll accept me, i promise i'll be a better friend, in the future, and whatnot." the more you spoke, the less sincere you sounded ; deciding to end it short was your best idea since youd got here.
"[name]..of course i'd still wanna be your friend and im sure the rest of the guys would agree." kirishima said softly.
"but, why?" bakugo grumbled, still not satisfied with your response.
"why what.." you murmured.
"whyd you leave in the first place, what fuckin happened to just make you up and go like that." this recived him another pinch, this time to his thigh.
kirishima was about to speak up but you stopped him, you at least owed him this one.
"no its okay. you guys deserve to know this one. i just uhmm.." you stared at bakugo. soft blonde hair, crimson eyes, sharp jaw, delicate nose above a full lipped mouth. suddenly you remembered why you had a crush on him in the first place.
then you glaced at krishima, broad shoulders, chisled nose, ruby red eyes that matched his hair and a pair of sharp canines that peeked from under his plump lips when he smiled, a dimple that formed on his left cheek along with it. you understood why bakugo would want him, if you were greedy you'd have them both.
"i uhm..i was having..boy troubles..i guess.?" it sounded stupid the moment it reached your mouth, it wasn't entirely a lie, but the phrasing of the sentence felt like you left room open for questions you really didn't want to answer.
kirishima and bakugo blinked, bakugo's expression morphing into something different, something you couldn't read.
"oh.." kirishima didn't say anything else and you suddenly wanted to die in embarrassment at the silence that washed over the three of you.
you suddenly stood up to leave, unable to take the silence. "well uhm, thats all i had to say. and i'll text you if you still ever want to uhm. hang out or. you know whatever you feel like, up to you." you speed for the door, thankful kirishima nor bakugo tried to stop you.
god that was not at all what you had planned, sero and kaminari would be better, you'd make sure of it.
✦ ✦
kirishima glanced at bakugo. "boy troubles..?"
the man didn't say anything, probably contemplating the last 30 minutes himself. kirishima was overjoyed and almost in disbelief when he'd seen you, and ready to hear you out on anything. honestly you could have told them you just didn't feel like talking to them for 2 months and he would have done just the same but your reason it had surprised him, surprised them.
"you don't think she had a boyfriend did you?" kirishima asked, suddenly paranoid.
bakugo scoffed, aloof as usual but he could tell it bothered him too. "whats it to us, if it was that bad she wouldn't want us to know."
"but, boy troubles? what does that mean, even before id never seen her with anyone really.."
"ei, we barely even fucking know her, who knows she could have tens guys waiting to get a shot with her right now. again, isnt any of our business. "
kirishima wasn't listening. "we should ask mina, she'll definitely know something at least, they live together maybe we can coax something out of her."
bakugo sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "or we could mind our business like we're supposed to and not make anything bigger than it needs to be."
"i'm gonna text her, im fact, this weekend we should all have a get together, bring the old gang back, you're free right? of course you are, ill be back." he didn't wait for a response, instead leaping to his room.
bakugo didn't follow, unable to admit his own burning curiosity for what exactly "boy troubles" entailed.
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notes: hopefully you enjoyed guys leave thoughts in the comments 🥸 next chapter not till next month cus im a working chud
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