Look, I’m a simple woman. I see Christian Horner, I want to make fun of him. And we all know this is how the RB19 car launch actually went down ok
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Borrowed your turtleneck.
He did; borrow Toto’s turtleneck. Toto doesn’t own a lot of them, but Christian doesn’t own any, and so he’d taken advantage and stuffed it in his suitcase before setting off for New York.
Which one?
The black one.
You mean the one I wore when I was thinking about suing you and your team last year?
Yeah, that one.
Great. I’m sure no one will pick up on it.
People immediately pick up on it. Christian is wearing a black turtleneck, a little too big on him, sleeves so long he has to roll them up, and his new glasses, and the internet is on his back in seconds. Livestreams tend to do that; open up the possibility for immediate reaction and, of course, backlash. Not that he’d expect anything different to last year, and the year before, and the year before that, but PR make him change into a shirt and a sweater anyway.
I see it went down well.
Christian hates when Toto thinks he’s being funny. Or clever. He doesn’t know which one is worse but getting both at the same time usually makes him want to divorce the man he unfortunately married.
Yes, thank you for your input. Anything else?
Your car looks the same.
It does not.
Yes, it does. You know it does.
Shut up. I’m working, leave me be.
Who was that guy? The presenter?
Why? You want his number?
He called you brother. I am not coming to New York to bail you out of jail tonight, Christian, I don’t have the time.
I hate you.
Not more than you hate that presenter, I’m sure.
What exactly do you do at work that you have the time to annoy me this exceptionally.
After seeing your car I wrapped things up early here. No need to stress.
I cannot believe you.
It’s the same car.
It is not. Shut up.
It might work very well for you. I am just saying, I’m home early tonight.
At this point, Christian makes the executive decision to call his bloody husband.
“What do you mean, you’re home early?”
“I’m home early. I already walked the dogs, and now I’m making dinner. Your car launch was quite something.”
“Don’t say it like that. What are you having for dinner?”
“Gröstl. You’re not here so I can have it in peace.”
“You’re a horrible husband, actually.”
Toto laughs and the sound makes it through the phone all the way to where Christian is sitting in the backseat of a New Yorker taxi, and it sounds just like it does when Christian is right next to him, at home.
“I am not. I did laundry today, too.”
“Did you put it away right????”
