#severe brainrot

[nonelaag]

rdr brainrot so bad that i dreamed i was arthur fuckin morgan last night omg

[gum-iie]

sorry but modern au serial killer dottore has been rotting in my brain for a while now

[amongusbooby]

[supervettesixpack]

I HATE THIS BAND I HATE THIOS BAND I HATE BAZZOOKAS

[youchangedmedestiel]

The braintrot is intense. See, I checked my list of meals for the week earlier and then I saw one of them being "green beans and cordon bleu" and "bleu" means blue. So basically my brain saw written the words green and blue next to each other and went DESTIEEEEEEL. Which is normal I guess.

[silvermahogany]

Woah theyre in love

[minijenn]

So 

I just beat Tears of the Kingdom

Thoughts under the cut because golly I have soooo many

OK SO THIS HAS IN JUST A WEEK ALONE BECOME NOT ONLY MY NEW FAVORITE ZELDA GAME BUT MY NEW FAVORITE GAME OF ALL TIME BECAUSE HOLY SHIT ITS INSANE

Ok, enough screaming, time for coherent thoughts. Sort of. First of all, the gameplay. Its SO fun. Honestly all of the arm mechanics are great; I still need to flex my creativity with ultrahand now that I’m done the game but once I do ohohoho  it’s aaaaaaall over for you nerds. I used ascend SO much tbh, way more than I probably should have, same with recall. The puzzles are really nicely open ended in a way that allows you to use any of these abilities in whatever way you’d like really to solve them. The world itself is so much more fun to traverse using them and speaking of that world its HUGE. Like I’ve barely even scratched the surface of the Depths and I’m gonna be spending a lot of my post game trying to finally map it all out. I do wish there was a bit more going on in the sky but ah well. Exploring what’s there is still fun. The dungeons are pretty good, not the best the series has ever seen, but a major step up from the divine beasts for sure. Same with the boss fights. Though the final phase of the final boss was such an insane spectale like seriously I’m still struggling to believe something that cool happened in a Zelda game imo

The game performs... mostly well, though I did notice a few framerate dips here and there but I’m rarely one to get too worked up over that sort of thing. The way it takes a world that was familiar in Breath of the Wild and makes it look so fresh and new is outstanding. And the music? Amazing, like seriously this game’s main theme slaps so hard, not to mention the final final boss music? ohohohoho godddddd. 

Ganondorf is exactly the despicable piece of shit I was hoping he’d be, the new characters like Rauru and Sonia and Mineru are fantastic editions to the Zelda cast and I can easily see them all becoming fan favorites. Seeing characters like Tulin, Yunobo, Sidon, and Riju have some major time to shine was great, and adventuring through the dungeons with them is a ton of fun! The side adventures/quests are also a lot more involved in this game, NPC interactions in general are just more fleshed out, and there’s just so much to do all across Hyrule, which leaves me with so much more to still get to now that I’m finished with it (still haven’t gotten all the shrines not to mention bubble gems; I’ll be playing this for a good long while even now that I’m done with it) 

Then of course there’s the story which had me theorizing and second guessing myself right up to the very end. Like seriously, I yelled and laughed and screamed, and of course sobbed like a BABY over the ending. It took so many turns I wasn’t expecting and I really liked that! If botw already made you care about Zelda, this game took it too a whole new level. The memory cutscenes fucked me up and this game personally victimized my emotions and I’ll never recover but I love it so much for that. I’m already thinking through several fanfic concepts centered around this game even as we speak so yeah, like I said, I’ll never recover. 

But anyway, overall, my first experience with ToTK has been an incredible one. It was well worth the wait, even better than I anticipated it would be, and will no doubt go down in history, just as BotW did before it, as one of the greatest games of all time. It certainly is in my book, anyway. 

[olliethescribe]

New Project - Tales From The Honeymoon: A Crime Adventure

For the next installment in the The Brows Don’t Make The Turtle series, I’ve decided to write about the misadventures of two idiots that cannot be trusted or left to their own devices.

Chapter one is dedicated to @warrenstonehead and will be coming out soon-ish. For now, here’s a sneak peek!

Chapter One: What The Hell Were You Doing in Tolaga Bay?

A week had passed since Warren and Hypno returned from their honeymoon. The turtles were being hosted in the living room, kept entertained with stories pertaining to a sickeningly sweet romantic narrative, spoken in such a way that implied that everything went perfectly. 

Leo, Mikey, and Raph were having an amazing time, hanging onto every word, fully believing in the power of love. Mikey wanted to know more about the wildlife, Raph was focused on the thought that whirlwind romances for trans people were actually real and something obtainable, and Leo took notes on every instance of flirtatious poetry uttered to use in his own life. 

Donatello, however, sat quietly and simply waited. He had plenty of questions, and the only way to get real answers was to wait for his brothers to leave. And soon enough, as the afternoon began to fade into the early evening hours, one by one, each turtle left.

Several minutes after the door shut and Leo walked out, Dee turned his attention to his uncles. 

“Alright,” Donnie began, keeping an eye to his bracer to ensure his brothers were far far away. “Now that they’ve left, you have to tell me. What really happened on your honeymoon? Because as much as you don’t wish to admit it, I am doubtful that it was entirely crime-free.”

Hypno sent Warren a nervous glance, the kind that typically said: he’s onto us. Warren nodded knowingly.

“So what? We stole one boat, big whoop,” the worm said dismissively while the hippo stared at him in disbelief. 

“You what?” Dee blinked, unimpressed. He honestly had expected more, expected the worst. 

The magician pinched the bridge of his nose. “I thought we were on the same page, Warren. But you know what, might as well tell you why we stole a boat.”

“And then burned it!” Warren added.

“And burned it, yes. How could I forget?” Hypno sighed. He had planned to die with this particular exploit, the memory of the heist more fuzzy than clear overall. 

Donnie dumped popcorn kernels into his battleshell, a small bucket filling with popped corn on the other side. “I’m listening.”