The Trouble With Healers
I went into this project with a grit and determination to learn how to approach our Shadow Selves in a way that was educated and informed. If I was going to do this work, I wanted to do it right. I wanted to get my head out of my ass so that I could find ways to actually help people, to make an actual difference. To remove my ego from the process, because at one point my ego drove the work I would do as a âhealerâ.
As a baby Pagan, I jumped into the deep end of spiritual healers who lacked an understanding of trauma and how to deal with it. I saw people who never took the time to understand even the basics of Psychology touted their ability to be the only person who was able to get through to an addict. I was on the receiving end of ridicule and emotional abuse because someone decided they knew what was best for me. Then there was the time I was told my energetic field would hold irreparable damage because of the actions of another. When I felt broken, I was told there was no way to put myself back together. Do I need to mention the time I was told I had burned through a years worth of healing energy in a matter of months? I was told that because of my actions, I had derailed this personâs plan to chain me to their spiritual cluster. A tethering I had not consented to.
In the times that I wore the badge of healer, I would tell someone who needed to talk all the things they had to do so that they could get their life back on track. I took what had been aimlessly spouted off at me and I basically shouted it at anyone who would listen. Any time someone came to me with a problem, I would give them unsolicited advice. I would then gloss over their struggles with my own, because if I could leave it in the past, so could they. There was a problem with this though, these actions were all to feed my ego. They had nothing to do with helping another human being and everything to do with feeding my own desire to be something more. Iâm not sure when it happened, but at some point I realized I knew a whole lot of nothing and I no longer needed to feed my ego with my own grandstanding.
Working as an Auditor Iâve learned some very important lessons. One of those is that when things go unquestioned, they get done incorrectly indefinitely. I like asking questions, I like looking for the holes, it is part of what makes me a good Auditor. It is also part of why I ended up with a spiritual sword at my back pushing me to do this project; all of the healing practices that I had been taught and had encountered over the years needed to be audited, I needed to look for and fill those holes so that I could help myself become a better and more empathetic person.
We are a community of healers. Everyone has a specialty, everyone has a willingness and a need to help. Iâve seen people who excel at the practice do a tremendous amount of good. I have also seen the title used as a narcissistic badge of approval, where the person could do no wrong because they are a born and natural healer. In the instances where the person wore the title as a narcissistic badge of approval, Iâve seen entire communities crumble.
The trouble with healers is that the term implies another person can come in and fix you. While a healer with years of training can come in and perform miracles for physical ailments, a spiritual healer is never going to be able to put the emotional pieces back together for you. You have to take the tools you are given and you have to implement them. No one is going to be able to face your Shadow aspects but you. You are the one that has to confront those fears and insecurities. You are the one that has to make reparations for any harm youâve caused. You are the one that has to live with your inner demons. When dealing with trauma, you are the one that has to keep living despite the inner torment you feel.
I am giving up the badge of healer, because when I focus on fixing everyone that crosses my path I forget about myself. Instead, I call myself friend. I am a supportive friend who is willing to listen and share tools when asked. Instead of holding the belief that I am the one doing the healing, I know that I am just on of many catalysts to help people find their own healing. I act as a cheerleader while my friends write their own success stories.
Do you claim the badge of healer? If you do, when someone comes to you for help, do you sit and listen to their needs or do you ignore their needs while you hit them over the head with your flower power wand? If you are going to claim the title of healer, realize the power you hold in your hand. Educate yourself on trauma and how to actually hold space for a person. Ask what you can do to support a person instead of dictate what a person needs to do to heal. Realize that consent is vital. And most importantly, when you claim the badge of healer, it no longer becomes about you.











