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Shane is literally the single most disgusting dude in the entire valley. He's a shaggy, dirty, ugly, reeking mess that stinks of alcohol and month-old laundry. I bet he doesn't even shower, the disgusting bastard. If anyone who romances Shane met someone like that in real life, they'd all avoid him like the plague.
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Tbh none of the bachelors are worth marrying aside from Harvey and Elliott
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I sincerely apologize for what your notes may look like, dear confession collector. That said, incoming rant!
Shane is a rude alcoholic who should not be trusted with the custody of a child until he gets his damn shit together and no, I will not be the one to help him do so because I will not be responsible for making a man fix himself, I've got my own problems and he needs to stop taking his out on me. He's literally only a romance candidate because the "I can fix him" crowd screamed and screamed demanding he be given to them as a sacrifice. NO, YOU CANNOT FIX HIM AND YOU ALL HAVE SAVIOR COMPLEXES THAT YOU NEED TO BE IN THERAPY FOR. For the love of Yoba, please stop fawning over this disaster of a man, Elliott is right there and will treat you better than that alcoholic bastard ever will.
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Shane is for the people with daddy issues, and Sebastian is for the people with daddy issues who also give two bits about basic personal hygiene.
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Let me be so real for a second. All of the male bachelors are ugly. Shane looks like Ben Shapiro and the rest look like future pedophiles. So I 100% understand wanting to fuck Krobus. He’s unironically more attractive, both in terms of looks and in terms of personality. Go get that shadow monster dick. Human men ain’t shit.
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shane touches me on an emotional level. i feel pure disgust and anger whenever i see his scruffy mug lurking around town.
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sebastian needs to stop complaining like we get it he hates his step sister because she's actually doing something with her life and he's still stuck in a howdy doody town smoking more than his mountain house's chimney and likely has carpal tunnel and untreated astigmatism. It's not Maru's fault Demetrius overlooks him so why is she getting all the blame? At least he actually has a house (and a pretty big one at that) and a caring mom unlike trailer bound Penny or even Sam in that cramped af house. Like things could be a lot worse dude. At least he's not fighting in a war somewhere. At least he isn't being denied a real relationship by the town's selfish mayor. At least his legs still work (even if he doesn’t act like it) . At least he's not Pierre. Go get a wrist splint, borrow Maru’s glasses and step outside and smell the roses. (Take a shower first though, you smell like Shane.)
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"Kent sucks he's mean to his wife blah blah blah whine whine whine"
First off, he isn't mean. His PTSD gets set off, he freaks out, then he calms down, and he apologizes, and she forgives him. Say what you will, but Jodi and Kent do genuinely care about each other. It's just one of them saw the horrors of war and got traumatized and now has to live with it. Given how much this fandom likes Shane, you'd think another mentally ill character who's also a little rude as a reaction would have them on their knees, but I guess Kent just isn't dirty enough for you.
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