#sharing is good

[pleasegivemeyourkneecaps]

Counter spell. Give me your kneecaps.

Yeah!!! I can lend you one!! The ones on the shelf are my favourite !

[swifterland]

To the swifties who didn’t have the chance to buy it or couldn’t buy it reblog and I’ll dm you a drive with this so we can all have it! 💕💕

[inaudiblemon]

There’s always these weird moments when I go see live shows where I disassociate fully for minutes on end, and when I come back into my body, I realize that I’m not really having fun, and I usually end up feeling guilty about taking someone else’s place, who would have undoubtedly enjoyed it more and could appreciate being in the moment more than I could. I see why people like it, but I can’t bring myself to feel like I deserve to be enjoying the event, or even what I’m getting out of it. I keep forgetting that I never enjoy myself when I go alone to shows or events, and yet, I keep doing it. Now, going with friends and sharing the experience, that’s a different story, but not many of my friends have the same weird interests I do, or they often bail on me, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to see the value in enjoying most things alone anymore. 

That said, I was genuinely glad to see fans of the Game Grumps come up on stage and get to play video games with their heroes, and it’s heartwarming to see them smile and geek out as people are cheering them on. Those kids needed those moments of validation and you could tell that it meant a lot to them. And the crowd was super supportive, and clearly, most of them were DEEPLY into it, and chanting and screaming and just fully engaged with the show. But while I was happy for them, I couldn’t share the enthusiasm. While the content those guys produce definitely makes me feel less alone, like I have friends I’m hanging out with at home when it’s playing in the background (and I do admire the things they get up to), I’d much rather they be my friends and not my heroes. I dunno, maybe I’m just at the point where I’m not putting people on pedestals anymore, and that’s a good thing, I think. But yeah, I didn’t NEED to see them live, despite that being an objectively cool thing.

I realized that these kinds of activities are not what I need, and that’s totally okay! It kind of sucks to admit that I sunk the biggest chunk of my trip-money on that show (and was the reason for it in the first place), but I also got a day to just leisurely wander around Toronto, stop in at comic book shops and music stores (I spent an irresponsible amount of money in both places), I got to see a couple of landmarks, listened to some jams and read a book in a park; I even got to have a delightful dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, as well as her lovely husband and toddler! Somehow, that was more meaningful than the show, and giving myself and my brain a day for self-care is what made the trip worth it.

Having the opportunity to have a chill day, where I got to do some of my favourite things, plus having a new space to explore, spurred the creative side of my brain for the first time in a good while, so that’s real good! I got new jokes for the Instagram that I’m workshopping, and I even have ideas for hilarious Christmas gifts I can make for my friends! I feel I’ve been a downer lately, and I say this while not wanting to minimize the shitty month and a half I’ve had, but I want to work on accepting the bad stuff, not lingering on them as much, while recognizing and working at the good stuff. The creative stuff is good, the relaxation felt good, the company was good, the realization about my reluctance to participate in live events is a good one to have: Today in general was good. On the train yesterday, I was talking on the phone to one of my best friends about the last few weeks I’ve had; it was a much needed heart-to-heart, albeit a total bummer on my end; we had a good chat, which lead to the realization that I need to take a step back, avoid putting pressure on myself and to go at things in smaller doses, to focus on the short-term, and to remove a lot of the urgency. I think that might help in planning my shit out a little, and to deal with the stuff I have going on. 

I will conclude with some wisdom that resonated with me from a hilarious Kermit the Frog zine I bought at one of the comic book shops in Toronto:

[sawadoot-moved]

oversharing at lunch time

[peanuts-n-soap]

@translator-zeiat I made way too much fish oil for some reason... Do you want some?

[inshatiable-blog]

Editing the Whole Day

Didn’t realize its already 1:14 am 😮 Time really flies so fast when you’re into something. I’ve been doing my theme for weeks. Not everyday, though. Only when I’m in the mood to stare at my laptop screen for a long period of time just like today. I’m really determined to finished this blog. I can’t say its already done, probably 50%, because everyday when I thought I’m finally done with the home page I’ll realize I need to add this and that. I also have a lot of pages to edit, and each page consist of a subpage, so yeah this will take me forever. While creating this theme, I’ve learned a bunch of new stuffs. I learned how to edit the blockquotes that I’ve been guessing and basing to other custom themes before. Maybe 2 years of learning how to program made me faster in picking up things especially how a code works. My Web Development course last semester also helped a lot. My previous works were hasty and unorganized but now I have a pattern that I follow. Proper convention helps in debugging. In my blog, I’ll share the following stuffs:

Portfolio — where I’m going to put all the things I’ve done; custom themes, templates, made-in-abobe things, programs, school projects, and the stories I’ve written.

KConer — my fangirl world and feels

Shelf — books I’m in love with

Tutorials — about creating custom themes, html, css, java, and stuffs I’ve learned

Walkthrough — the things I’m learning as of the moment

Suddens — random stuffs I create

You see, I’m really serious about keeping this blog.

[pennielynaglugub]

Regrets no regrets