My hands would make there way through your brown golden curls. Holding the back of your head playing with individual curls kissing those soft plump lips my hands would trail down your neck as my lips follow in pursuit. My lips connect with yours as my hands find their way under your top and graze over those toned abs “take it off” i would whisper in your ear you hastily do so and stand back admiring modern art. I start kissing down your neck and each ab up until i reach your V.
I undo your belt slowly taking my time watching you wanting to escape i glide down your legs fabric in hand revealing your glorious masterpiece i stand back up hands continue to glide along the strong legs that keep you so firm i take my time to admire you. Your arms strong to protect. Your chest soft yet also firm to hold and keep near. Your legs sturdy ready to lift and of course your face i want to kiss forever and get lost in those eyes that hold paradise.
I’d take you to the bedroom and guide you to the edge of the bed I’d undress in front of you let you help if you wanted. Then I’d make my way towards you give you some sweet kisses then whisper “relax. You need a break gorgeous”
I’d bend down between your thighs and kiss the inside gently slowly making my way towards your cock already throbbing begging for attention i give some gentle loving kisses all over before i open my mouth and begin to take you. I go back and fourth licking you with my tongue. Tasting every inch. Not missing a single spot devouring you like a lolly pop. I glide out and bring your hand to your cock and ask you to cum. You cum on your fingers which i lick clean whilst cock warming. I then hold your face and begin to make out.
Him and his team think you’re playing hard to get. That you want to make them sweat a bit before you agree and extend your contract to open for the UK leg of the tour.
You’ve been with him for awhile now, touring, opening for him, becoming close with him.
This is what you did when they first asked you to be the opener, waited a little which is what lead to you getting your own bus and more merch being sold in the store. But this time around you aren’t playing hard to get. You’re waiting until your other contract is signed before you tell him.
You can’t do it anymore, you can’t be with this torture. He’s driving you insane, and it’s really starting to affect your personally.
It’s been this little cat and mouse game between the two of you. Shawn’s a big flirt, he’s a nervous flirt, but a big flirt. He’s been leaving you on the edge of your seat since you joined tour and as much as you hate it you love it.
“Hey pretty girl.” Shawn smirks, flopping on the couch, arm lazily draping over your shoulders.
You look over at him, heart rate picking up at his touch.
“What?” You sigh, looking down at your notebook.
“Andrew wanted me to ask how the reading of your new contract was coming?” He drops his chin to your shoulder, small puppy dog look in his hazelnut eyes.
“I’m not sure, haven’t spoken to my manager today.” You answer without looking at him.
“Are you okay?” He asks, fingers trailing over your arm, drawing little shapes.
“Yep.” You respond, not meaning to be so cold but not able to handle the heartbreak anymore.
“Y/n?” He whispered, brushing the hair off your shoulder. His soft breathing fanning your neck.
“Hmm?” You asked, eyes falling shut for a second, falling back into his trap.
“Are you upset with me?” He asks, and you look over into his sad eyes.
“No,” Your hollow voice responds.
“Then why haven’t I seen you this week, and when I have you won’t speak to me?” He asks, running his nose up and down your neck.
“Been busy,” You swallow thickly.
His phone buzzes and he sighs before pulling away. When he’s leaning forward, reading the email Andrew sent him you feel like you can finally breathe.
He’s intoxicating, and his simple touch makes everything around you melt away.
He huffs and you look over, letting your eyes trail over his figure and your eyes halt and widen at the purple bruise peeking out of his collar on the back of his neck. Your heart shatters, and you have to leave. You can’t sit next to him.
You stand, grabbing your notebook and purse ready to leave the green room.
“Hey, wait.” He looks over at your retreating figure.
“I have to go Shawn,” You wipe the small tear from the corner of your eye.
“No please, I want to talk to you.”
“No Shawn, I can’t do this anymore.”
He blanches, heart picking up in fear. “Do what?” He breathes out.
“Can’t sit here and talk to you about your soul, and what you think love is, and how you want to have your heart broken. Because it sucks Shawn, having your heart broken sucks and I don’t wish it on anyone and I especially don’t wish it on you.”
With that you rush out of the room, heading down to your bus and far away from him.
Shawn sits stunned, he gapes at where you were standing as his heart pounds loudly in his chest.
Jet lag is a bitch but it’s okay this time around, now that Shawn’s here to keep you company.
Over this last flight and round of shows you two started to get close, liking the fact that someone else your age is around and understands.
He’s so interesting, the way he sees things, hears things, thinks of things. It’s so interesting to get his point of view, because it opens your eyes to his world.
“So why do you want your heartbroken?” You ask softly, picking at the edge of the pillow you were leaning on.
“To write a killer album.” He chuckles, but you just stare at him, not believing that it’s his whole answer. He notices you stare and takes in a deep breath. “Because to be heartbroken is to be loved. Or to have been in love. I don’t think I have been, puppy love maybe. You know the high school stuff, but not actually in love. Not the raw, real, love you know?”
“Yeah I get that. But if I’m gonna fall in love, I’d rather not get heartbroken.”
“Yeah being heartbroken isn’t ideal, but I think I say that because I’d like to know that feeling of love. Like my fans love me, my family and friends love me, but I want to know what being IN love with someone is like.”
“Well whoever breaks your heart will feel the wrath of all of your fans.”
He giggles, shaking his head making his curls flop before settling.
“I think it’ll age my soul,” He tosses his guitar pick up in the air, catching it and doing it again.
He sits and lets your past conversations run through his head before Andrew was bounding in the room, taking him off to sound check.
**
It’s the night of the last show, and Shawn’s been trying to have a moment of your time all day. He wants to talk, he wants to ask you questions, he wants answers.
“Y/n,” He calls when he spots you down the hall with a stagehand, conversing about a guitar change in your set.
You turn and look at him at him over your shoulder and panic a bit. He’s jogging towards you and when he makes it to you you have nowhere to go anymore.
“I need to steal her for a second.” He speaks from behind you.
“Of course, have a good show.” The stagehand bids to you both and returning back his work.
“What’s up Shawn?”
“I want to talk about what you said a few days ago.” He said pulling you into his dressing room.
“Okay, but I don’t have much time.”
“That’s bullshit and we both know it. You’re free till the show, I even checked with your manager. Ran into him before his meeting with Andrew and found out you’ve been free all day, but told me you were busy.”
You sigh, shaking your head.
“Y/n, why have you been so weird lately?” He asks before his phone goes off, Andrew’s name flashing across the screen. “Give me a minute,” He says holding his hand up at you while he answers his phone. “No going anywhere like last time.”
“I’m busy,” He says as he answers.
You can’t hear Andrew, but you do know what that meeting was about so you know what this call was. Shawn’s eyes go wide, snapping to you as his mouth drops and face pales.
“This is a joke,” He mumbles and you wince at the sound of his voice. “Y/n?” He says as you look away. “Y/n!” His voice grows louder.
“I’m sorry,” You whisper, wanting to curl in on yourself.
“What do you mean you aren’t extending? Why? Why not? What?” He’s stuttering, mainly because he doesn’t understand. “That means that tonight's-,”
“Tonight's my last show.” You nod softly.
“No!” He shakes his head. “No, wait let’s talk about this.”
By now he’s hung up on Andrew and he’s a pleading man in front of you.
“There is nothing to talk about Shawn,”
“Yes there is!”
“What? What is there to say?”
“You could start with why?” He laughs desperately.
“Because I have feelings for you Shawn,” You snap at him. “I have feelings for you and I can’t work with you and be with you all the time knowing you don’t feel the same. It’s torture, it is constant torture.”
“How do you know I don’t feel the same?” His brows furrow.
“Because since the day I met you I haven’t been able to get you off my mind, I can not even think of seeing someone else because they aren’t you.” You sigh, taking a seat making him follow. “And for awhile I wondered if you felt the same.”
“But you don’t anymore?” He asks softly.
“No I don’t.” You shake your head. “When we started tour you flirted all the time, and we had these little moments. Backstage after shows, after a circle with the bands we’d have little moments where you’d lean and I’d lean in, but then one of your girls would come skipping in and poof, our moment was gone.” You wipe your eye. “That’s how I know you don’t feel the same. Because if you did feel the same you wouldn’t be having hookups, you wouldn’t come walking by with hickeys on your neck, or have girls come backstage, into our safe zone from the strangers around us.”
He’s at a loss for words. And is trying to form his thoughts but is struggling because he can see how hurt you are, and how he’s the one who’s done that damage.
“I do have feelings for you,” He mumbles.
“There’s no way this is gonna work,” You shake your head. “Even if the feelings are mutual, you aren’t ready for this the way I am.”
“Yes I am,” He defends.
“Then why did you go out with that blonde last night, and why are you talking with models, and why are you sneaking girls in and out of your room when we’re at hotels?” You demand, he looks away. “If you say it was to make me jealous that just proves my point, because this isn’t high school Shawn. This isn’t a drama show, and you’re pure and soft, yes. But you say it yourself, your songs are your truth. We both know you live it.”
He sighs, shaking his head. “You can’t tell me that just because I’ve been with other girls that we can’t be together.” He pouts.
“We can’t count out the future, because we don’t know what’s to come. But I can count out right now, because right now you’ve broken my heart.”
He deflates, shoulders slumping and lips frowning.
“I’ve what?” He shakes out.
“I’ve had my heart broken by the biggest heart throb, and oh my god it hurts. It hurts to see you happy and it hurts so much when you walk in all put together going ‘Hey pretty girl’.”
His breathing has picked up, because now with the way you are speaking it’s making him scared that you are really leaving.
“Can we work on this? Just give me some time to fix this, to help put your heart back together.”
“I don’t have time,” You stand, wiping off your jeans.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’m going on tour with someone else, I leave in a week.”
His heart stops. “You’re really leaving?”
“I’m sorry, but I need to take some time for myself. I need to rebuild myself.”
He’s tugging at his curls, shaking his head as his eyes get watery.
“Shawn,” You touch his arm, grabbing his attention. “Right now, there’s no way.”
He nods, bottom lip trapped between his teeth.
“There’s just no way it would work, we aren’t ready. We may be meant to be, but we aren’t ready right now. You have life you want to live, so do I. And as much as I’d like to live it with you, it won’t be healthy. We’ll end up hating and resenting each other and I don’t want to lose you.”
He looks confused, “I don’t want to lose you either, but you’re leaving, so I already am.”
“No,” You shake your head. “I’m not extending, I’m still working but with a different team. But you aren’t losing me. I might be gone for awhile, but I’d like to know that if I needed you you’d be there.”
“I would be.” He nods quickly.
“So will I.” You agree.
“So,” He looks at you. “Not right now, but in the future?” He makes sure he’s understanding.
Summary: You’re not ready to have sex yet and Shawn doesn’t know and he thinks there’s something wrong with what he’s doing
a/n: SOOO I have been planning on writing this a long time ago and I finally have. this is dedicated to @firsttimeihadsomethingtolose!! I HOPE THIS LIVED UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS JASMINE I LOVE YA
“I have an early day tomorrow, I better get going.“ You pulled away from his lips that was just on yours. You had dinner at his place and just had a few drinks while just talking. And that lead to making out.
Shawn got off the top of you to pick up his shirt that was now laying on the floor while you fixed your hair. The two of you has been dating for quite a while now and he’s not rushing to have sex. But he obviously wanted you and the make out session gets so heated that it seems like it’ll lead to sex. Until you pull away and makes an excuse. He was starting to think that something is wrong with what he’s doing or you don’t like him anymore.
“Y/n,” Shawn called out. “Is there something wrong?” He couldn’t keep quiet anymore, he had to say something about how he felt.
You looked at him, he was looking at you while buttoning his shirt back up. You were confused why he said that. “Ofcourse there’s nothing wrong, Shawn.”
Shawn knew you well enough that he knew you were gonna say that. Shawn is a very empathetic person, but he can’t read minds. It was frustrating and it bothered him that you think there’s nothing wrong. “Yes, there is, y/n! We make out and then I do something and we just stop and you make an excuse up! Tell me if I’m doing something wrong, because it’s not about me feeling good. It’s about you.”
You were taken a back for a little bit, Shawn didn’t mean to raise his voice or confront you about it. Being in downtown Toronto, his apartment was never quiet but at that instance, the awkward silence that enveloped the both of you drowned out the sounds of the city. The both of you avoided each other’s looks for a solid couple minutes. It was the longest 2 minutes of Shawn’s life.
“You’re not doing anything wrong. Believe me.” You squeaked. “It’s me. Lord God, you’re perfect in every single way.”
“I’m not trying to rush you or force you or anything, but I wanna know why you keep on making excuses.” Shawn felt stupid saying that, but he had to.
You yelled out in one breathe, “I’ve only had sex with one guy in my life and I thought it’d be a big deal to you!”
Shawn looked at you while you looked straight ahead at the tv screen. He was dumb founded as to why you thought that. “Why would you think that?” He whispered.
“Oh, c'mon Shawn. I’ve been on tour with you. Your staff talks. You’re a rockstar, for goodness sake,” You kept on talking about the tour–Where ever you went, the staff would be whispering about Shawn’s past hook ups. It was impossible to not know.
“Do I look like that type of guy?” Shawn cut off your monologue, he couldn’t believe it. He was seriously thinking that he wouldn’t have a girlfriend by the end of tomorrow.
You looked at him when you heard him say that. It dawned on you how he probably took what you were saying. “Shawn, no. Definitely not! The last guy I was with, he thought that having so and so many partners was a big deal. He found out he was my first, he liked it at first. You know, having that much power and the fact that I had given myself to him. But after so long, he changed his mind.” Shawn’s brown eyes just stared at you, listening intently while you talked. “You’re not anything like him. Believe me, you’re perfect. I just… I don’t want you to change your mind about me if I gave myself to you.”
Shawn was speechless at first, his thoughts going wild. He thought how much of an asshole your ex was. He thought that there was nothing wrong with how you felt and it was perfectly normal. He thought, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Shawn, I thought I would lose you if I did, I didn’t know how you would react.” You look down at your hands, Shawn saw the gesture and scooted closer on the couch to be closer to you.
Shawn really didn’t know how to react towards it. But he was sure how he felt. He respected you, he felt special that he mattered enough to you to tell him and not just break up with him. He felt that sitting right there confirmed what he thought he has been feeling lately, she was the one. He loved her and she didn’t even know.
He thought about confessing what he feels but instead he said, “We don’t have to have sex until you’re ready, not all romantic relationships are based on sex. I told you earlier, I’m not rushing you.”
Summary: The stress of college has caught up to you and you have a breakdown.
a/n: is this a request? HECK YEAH IT IS. it’s actually two requests in one. It was one of those things that I had idea for the other and the other would just kind of fit in. Thanks for all the love for Haunted by Your Ghost! It’s not everyone’s favorite but it is indeed mine. :D I loved having Jasmine giving me inspiration and encouraging me to write that one. You will see a lot more of Jasmine giving me inspo in my future writings.
masterlist
Your name: submit What is this?
In high school, you did amazing. You were great, you did great in school and everyone knew it. You heard from everyone college would be very different, and harder than high school. And they are right. Unluckily, you’re not a world-wide known musician like your boyfriend. So you have to go to college in order to make a good living.
It’s 3am and you’re trying to finish a 10 page paper that was due tomorrow. High school did not get you ready for this. Why on earth would a professor assign something like this and grade every single one?
You have had your third cup of coffee, you’re not a big coffee drinker and this is weird. You ran out of red bull around midnight, and was definitely not running anywhere to buy some, you had to settle for coffee. Which your room mate is addicted to. Thankfully, she was very nice to even make you a whole pot of coffee at 12:16am, or you would’ve broke her coffee maker.
As you type the word ‘test’, you also remember the test, in that class you were struggling with, that you have not studied for at all. You ran your hand through your hair, it’s only your first year of College and you’re already not doing that well.
If you fail college, you won’t be able to make a living and do everything you wanted to do. You might get stuck working for a fast food chain your whole life. Nothing wrong with it, it’s just something you don’t want to be doing. You also did not want to be depending on your boyfriend, Shawn. What if things happen and you break up? Shawn will probably break up with you too if you fail your first year of college.
The fact that maybe failing college will lead to you losing the boy you love the most, it made you want to curl up and cry your eyes out. You couldn’t think of anything else other than that, you decided to text Shawn. ‘If I fail college, will you still love me??’
You stared at the screen, watching the three dots move, indicating that Shawn was typing. He replied, ‘I’m calling.’
Your phone starts ringing, You see your face on the scree, Shawn is calling you. Your eyes immediately went to your hair that is in a very very messy bun. Sighing and not caring, you answered the phone.
“Hey, baby.” You try to put on a fake smile, you didn’t have to worry Shawn while he’s all the way in Europe.
“Of course I will still love you. I told you, I’ll love you no matter what.” Shawn’s eyebrows furrowed. There were muffled music blasting and people talking in the background. There was a tapestry behind him. “What’s wrong, hun?”
“Nothing.” You tried to push the stray hair that fell out of your messy bun away from your face. Sniffling as you did so, you were trying to hold your tears back. You weren’t one to cry, you were stronger than this.
All the way in Europe, miles and miles away from you, Shawn knew better. He knew something was wrong. He wasn’t deceived by your fake smile. He saw how tired you are with your red brimmed eyes, your hair hasn’t been groomed. He also has a view of your long to do list behind you. And it is also very unusual for you to be up at this time, considering how much you loved sleep. “Baby, tell me.”
“It’s nothing, I don’t want to worry you.” You see Shawn’s eyebrow raise through the camera, you can definitely tell he wasn’t buying it. “I miss you a lot.”
His face softened upon hearing that you miss him. “I miss you a lot too, and I wish I was there. I know something is up and If you don’t tell me, you’re worrying me anyways.”
“It’s just,” You sigh. Taking a glimpse at the blinking cursor on your screen, you were not close to finishing. You wanted to cry right there on the spot, with Shawn on the phone. “I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow, a test the next, I also have to work. I haven’t had any sleep. What if I fail college, Shawn? It’s only my first year and I’m already doing so bad. I have never done this bad, ever in my life.” Shawn knew that you have never done this bad in school, the fact you’re so smart made Shawn notice you in the first place. “If I fail school, you probably would b-”
You stopped talking when you notice Shawn had his guitar visible on the screen. He started strumming the guitar, “Sometimes it all gets a little too much, but you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up. And you don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same. And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much.” He smiled through the camera and made your heart skip a beat. You wanted nothing more but be in his arms right now. “Babe. Repeat after me.”
You raise one of eyebrows, humoring him, you did just what he said. “I am not gonna fail college.”
“Yes babe, you’re not gonna fail college.” Shawn sent a death glare to Geoff who has standing off camera. Geoff was trying not to laugh his ass off, but Shawn didn’t care. As long as you were happy, Shawn didn’t care if it made him look stupid. “Now, listen to me. All those things? Forget about it, j-”
“Shawn! Forgetting about those things will make me fail.” You stared at him, through the screen. You heard Geoff’s chuckle in the background, you didn’t even know he was there. “Hey, Geoff.”
“You’re not gonna fail, y/n. You’re the smartest person we know.” You hear Geoff off the camera. Shawn smiled widely at what Geoff said, agreeing with him.
“Just listen to me, babe.” Shawn looked at the camera. “Forget about your paper. Call a sick day from work, same thing with your classes. Sleep in tomorrow morning. Go to my parent’s house when you wake up, I’m sure Aaliyah would love to study with you.” You and Shawn smiled at the same time. You’d probably go insane if it wasn’t for Shawn. “How much do you have done in your 10 pages?”
You glance over the Add me in your Google documents pulled up on your screen, the blinking cursor taunting you. “Like three and a half more pages.”
Shawn grinned, and run his hands through his hair. “Add my e-mail to the document to where I can edit it.”
“Are you gonna finish it for me?” You laugh, Shawn hated writing papers. The only writing he loved was writing music.
Seeing you laugh, Shawn’s heart skipped a beat. He always loved hearing you laugh, specially after what you were just through. “Hell no. I’ll have Andrew or Geoff finish it or something.” With the mention of Geoff’s name, he chucked a piece of a chip, that he was eating, at Shawn. It hit him on his cheek.
“Oh, Shawn. What would I do without you?” He gives you a really cute smile, you want him right in front of you right now.
“I’ll even have somebody proof-read it for grammar and everything.” He joked, Geoff was mumbling something about how much he hates writing papers too. “Go to bed, I love you.”
“I love you too.” You blow him a kiss through the phone’s camera and he pretends to catch it to put it on his lips. You hear Geoff saying something about how cheesy that was. “Good luck on the show, bye.” You ended the call, before that, you heard Geoff teasing Shawn about his cheesiness. You don’t only miss Shawn, you miss Geoff and the whole crazy boys too.
You fell asleep, right after putting Shawn as an editor in your paper. When you woke up, the paper really was written. Proof-read, and all grammar fixed. You also received A ‘you’re welcome’ text from Geoff too.
She felt somebody sit down on the bench beside her. She figured out it was a guy from his mumbling, unless this person just had a really deep voice.
“Hey!” She turned to the direction of the person that just sat down, and she greeted him lively.
He looked at her, she was looking towards his direction but it didn’t seem like she was looking straight at him. Judging from her clothes, she looked like a patient here too.
“Uh,” he looks down at the elephant tattoo on his finger, finding comfort in seeing it. “Hey.”
Hearing his voice, it was familiar. A voice she had heard before, she couldn’t put her finger on where she heard it or whose voice it was. But then again, she heard similarities in people’s voice a lot more than the regular ear. Some voices are the same than others, and she can’t see to tell whose voice is who.
“Why are you sitting so far?” She commented. He was surprised by her bluntness. Most people were careful about speaking around him, but not her.
“I figured you wanted space.” He replied–He too wanted space. There was only one bench in this small garden of the hospital. He liked it in this part because most of the patients in this wing didn’t go out, or couldn’t see him.
“Space is just a word made up for someone who is afraid to get too close.” She tried to state that with a straight face, but she felt the sides of her mouth betray her.
“And you’re quoting Nick Jonas lyrics.” He looks at ground and genuinely smiles, the feeling is very foreign to him. He almost forgot what it feels like not to force a smile and have it come on his face naturally.
He had met Nick Jonas, and he is a nice man. He remembered that time that Nick Jonas pranked him while walking in the streets of L.A.
She chuckles, which made him look at her. He couldn’t help but stare a little. “Is it a sin?” She jokes. Her smile finally pushed through. He noticed her pearly white teeth.
Maybe he agreed with Nick Jonas that space is just a word made up by someone who is afraid to get too close. Maybe he is afraid to get close.
He was surprised that he found himself scooting over, to be closer to her.
-
A/N: so hello. I’m starting a new series and here’s a teaser. I’m still thinking if this is gonna be a y/n x Shawn or *an actual character’s name* x Shawn. Tell me your thoughts!! P.S: my masterlist is not updated nor is my most recent work because I’m on mobile and the mobile browser with Flash player sucks. Also this won’t be the same format as my other works. I will try to fix it as soon as I can if I find a laptop (Macbook chargers are expensive af) or a better mobile browser with flash player. (Any recommendations?) x
