Sometimes, I feel ashamed of my gender. I feel like I wasn't enough of a girl to identify as cis so I had to go off and add something else, but that's not true and I know that's not true. It's just feels hard on me. I usually just tell people my pronouns are she/they if the topic comes up, but I never give an actual name because I feel ashamed or embarrassed to say that I'm genderfae. All of these years questioning my gender, identifying from anything to a trans man to nonbinary to genderfluid and everything in between only to find a label that fits me...and then I become afraid to use it. I'm scared people will think that I'm just using it to try to "be cool" or "trendy" or I don't know, something dumb that I know isn't true...but still, there's that voice in the back of my mind, feeding into my doubt.
I wish this was a positivity post that had some kind of rhyme or reason to it, but I guess it's not. I thought that maybe after I started typing I'd feel better about it, but I don't. I mean, not really. Anyway, here's a Picrew I made of me by Cosmitasia. Maybe one day I'll learn to love myself and be unapologetically me, even if that day isn't today. I can always have hope. We all have to have hope. Happy pride, everyone 🌈
