I think this is how I’m supposed to sense this in?? I hope so anyway!
1) If you could use one of these positive attributes in regard to yourself, which would you choose?
Honest
Trustworthy
Encouraging
Insightful
Compassionate (x)
Motivated
Forgiving
Humorous
Understanding
Open-Minded
Enthusiastic
Witty
Supportive
Kind
2) The insecurity below resonates with me the most:
My people skills are lacking.
I don’t like the way I look
I fear rejection
I feel like a bad person
I feel socially inept (x)
I’m too untrusting of others
Am I the problem?
3) I would describe my personal style as:
Grunge/Punk
Streetwear
Bohemian
Casual (x)
Formal
Preppy
4) What’s the first thing you look for in a partner?
Looks
Humor (x)
Intelligent
Confidence
Gentle
Reliable
5) Favourite Season?
Spring
Summer
Autumn (x)
Winter
6) I would love to:
Backpack across Europe
Go Camping
Redecorate the house (x)
Make/Get a pizza and watch bad movies
7) Do you want children?
Yes
No
I already have children (x)
8) Does money matter?
No
Yes
I’d like to be comfortable (x)
9) What pet would you prefer?
Dog
Cat (x - I have 2)
Reptile
Bird
Rodents (rats, hamsters, etc.)
No Pets
Thank you for sending in your questionnaire! Your match is...
Vi!
Vi is an intelligent, witty guy who is incredibly loyal to those he loves. He can be a bit of a prankster himself if pushed but he never goes too far. Vi loves having a good laugh and actually loves jokes more than he might seem. A family is something Vi has always wanted to have. It’s his dream to have a big loving family surrounding him! He’ll be a loyal, gentle partner but also someone who has the ability to make others laugh despite his weird rules about the kitchen!
He can absolutely bring the humor you're looking for in a relationship! He'll enjoy your compassionate nature as it's something he's not used to and will always be there to redecorate the house. That's his idea of a good time. Most importantly though, he'll be there for your kids. Vi has always wanted a family and while he has full understanding that it's the kids and your choice if he steps into a parenting role, he is 100% on board for that. Regardless of that, he'll be there if they ever need his help with anything and support them and you.
I have two burning questions for you, and I apologize if they’ve been answered before. First: What happened with the grapes from “Internal Disputes”? I’m curious to know if any of them were salvageable; maybe some of the ones Jeff took? Second: Do either Edge or Stretch have nicknames for the chickens? Or do the chickens have secret middle and last names? I ask because Yami (my cat) has several nicknames and a “full name” that I use when she’s in trouble, and I wondered if the boys do that.
I don’t think those are ones that have been answered! The grapes will come up again, so I don’t want to spoil that one. As for nicknames, Stretch tends to call Noodle ‘Noods’, which is mostly because it sounds like he’s accusing her of being naked all the time. Dumpling is the quietest and most well behaved of the bunch and sometimes Stretch calls her Ling Ling.
Edge isn’t big on shortening names, but he does tend to call them all his ladies.
Nugget, now. Ah, Nugget. Depending on the amount of trouble she is in, Nugget gets called brat, little shit, and at least once when Edge was very frustrated with her, McDonald’s fodder. Stretch tends to call her Hendini, little escape artist that she is.
I am ready to adopt! I would like to pretty please adopt a Pup and a Nickel who are at least already familiar with each other, if not friends. I have a bitty now who is a bit more animalistic in nature; he can communicate, but not by traditional means. I mean, you know Red. I'm not sure how to let the new bitties know not to crowd him; he's not aggressive unless cornered. And he knows they're coming, so he won't be surprised.
Fresh, more than happy to see you here, leads you by hand back to the little houses the bitties stay in, deeper in the center. You look around in wonder at the tiny little garden beds and paths that lead between houses, almost like a little town.
Fresh steps carefully around the bitties that mill around, you doing the same and smiling at the tiny Lapis that shyly waves up at you as you pass by.
“Don’t worry, I have the perfect little pair for you and Red! I thought you might want a Nickel and Pup first hand, so I talked to these two and told them the situation, and they said they were just happy to finally get outta here!” he laughs, stopping finally in front of what could only be termed a murderer shack.
You stare at it, dubious, but Fresh only holds up a finger and knocks gently on the door. There’s the sounds of someone shuffling around inside, and then the door opens on squeaky hinges, revealing a Pup.
The pup signs something to Fresh, who translates for you. “He says he and Nickel are ready to go, their clothing is packed and everything!”
And with that both Pup and Nickel are coming out of the shack, little duffel bags slung over their shoulders. The Nickel is stuffing what looks like a plastic earring deeper into his bag before he glares up at you, challenge in his eye.
“So. Yer the one who’s gonna finally give Pup and I a home, huh?”
You stare back just as determined, a twinkle of delight in your eyes. “You’re damn right I am.”
Hey guys, so @freshouttaparsnips and I had this idea for a community project. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a set of stories based around a common premise and written by different authors? Like an anthology! Think “Sin City”, “Babel”, “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs”, or the “V/H/S” series. They do not have to be related to one another, however, like the stories in some of these movies. You do not have to coordinate with anyone. All you have to do is follow a few simple rules and let your creativity run wild.
The common theme among these stories is sickness/injury. It can be literal or metaphorical. You have your choice of genre, characters, pairing (if you choose to include a romantic pairing), and the like. A second common theme is the titles. I ask that you name your oneshot with the title of a nursery rhyme. It doesn't necessarily have to do with that nursery rhyme in a logical sense, but for example, a person could call their story Three Blind Mice and write about a character temporarily losing their sight via illness or injury.
Here are the rules I would ask that you follow:
1. Please keep your story rated at a T or below. If you’re confused about what might be allowed, consider if your content would be able to be shown in a PG-13 movie. This means no graphic sex or violence. Keep it minimal or keep it offscreen.
2. You can be as wide or as narrow as you wish to be in your interpretation of the subject. All I ask is that, in one way or another, your story has something to do with an illness or injury.
3. Your title must be a nursery rhyme title. It does not have to be in English. For English titles, however, I can recommend this site (www.nurseryrhymes.org) for name suggestions.
4. You have complete control over characters, pairings, genre, etc. As you might expect, however, please keep it Undertale related. If you would like to use your OC’s, that’s wonderful, but please also include at least one recognizable character from the game or one of the many AUs.
5. Please keep your story to a oneshot with at least 500 words and up to 5,000 words.
6. Post your story to your AO3 and add to the collection “Nursery Rhyme Community Project”. Myself and Freshie will be moderating! If you don’t have an AO3, that’s okay! You can post here to Tumblr! Please tag your story with “AWOO Nursery Rhyme Project” so I can find it. You can also send me a link to your story through Tumblr’s chat function.
7. Freshie and I will be creating a masterlist as stories accumulate. Please remember that your story cannot be added if we can’t find it. If you have any problems adding your story to the collection on AO3 or linking one of us, please let us know!
“Call a doctor, say a prayer
Choose a god you think is fair
'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill”
--Monsters; Shinedown
Kidnapping Edge and Slim’s significant other was a bad idea. You tried to tell them that. They didn’t listen.
Tags: Badass Reader, Polyamory, Kidnapping, but not of a kid, reader is taken, Violence, Hurt/Comfort, tough skellies being soft for their sweeties, gender neutral reader
Notes: Music is one of my biggest inspirations for fic. A song can spark and idea and I'm hopeless to do anything else until that idea is written. This is one such example. The song is "Monsters" by Shinedown. The song isn't exactly...this, but this is where my brain took me, because there's something so delicious about our boys protecting and avenging their lovers.
Read on AO3
Or read here!
The room was dark, shadows playing along the dimly lit walls as the three men in the room paced in front of you, gesturing wildly, angrily as they shouted at each other. They blamed each other for their situation, for all the little mistakes they’d made along the way. If the bearded one had just been a little more proactive, if the tall one had been faster in sending the letter, if the redhead had planned better from the beginning, if, if, if.
But the real truth of the matter was that they’d fucked themselves over the moment they chose you.
Their plan had probably been simple enough. They had enough decency to want to leave kids out of it, so they planned to kidnap the partner of the rich monsters on the hill for a ransom. Easy, right?
Well. No. Not considering who the monsters were. None of them were bound to cave to a little threat, and the men probably would have gotten off easy if they’d taken something with an actual monetary value attached like Slim’s sport car or Edge’s custom motorcycle, both worth millions.
You had known from the moment you woke up three days ago that you wouldn’t get out of this unscathed, but you would, eventually, get out. Your monsters had made that promise when you’d taken your vows. They couldn’t promise to protect you from any and all harm; that would have been irrational. You were married to some of the most influential monsters this side of the void; there were bound to be a few people who had it out for you.
You shifted a little in the metal folding chair you sat on, wincing as your shoulders cried out in pain. Your wrists were bound behind you, your feet tied to the chair with scratchy rope that had already left a rash on your ankles. You were going to enjoy a nice, long bubble bath when you got home, that was for damn sure. Hopefully one with bookend skeletons gently massaging all your sore spots.
“The answer’s pretty clear then, isn’t it?” the bearded one shouted at the others, turning to point at you with a dirty finger. “Just fucking kill ‘em. Get it over with. We ain’t gettin’ the money, I can fucking guarantee that, so just cut our fucking losses, cut their throat, and leave their body on their front lawn. Teach them a fucking lesson.”
You really tried not to snort at that. They could never understand the absurdity of that idea.
All three men turned to look at you. The tall one stalked forward, a mean scowl on his face.
“What’s so funny, bitch?” he sneered.
You licked your bloodied lips and lifted your chin. You’d already tried to explain to them how badly they’d fucked up, how much better off they’d be if they just released you, but none of them would hear it. They were all so convinced they knew what to expect from your monsters.
You maintained eye contact as you spoke, one of the first things that had pissed them all off. You were supposed to be a scared, meek little human who would cry in a corner if they so much as looked at you. How wrong they were. Your monsters had taught you better.
“You can do whatever you want to me, it really doesn’t matter.” Your voice was hoarse, little more than a scratchy whisper after no more than five sips of water each day. “They’ll get revenge for what you do to me. You have to know that. You have to see that it’s going to be so much worse for you if you kill me.”
The tall one lunged forward and slapped you across the face hard enough to send the chair rocking back precariously on two back legs before settling back upright. You felt the warmth of fresh blood as it trickled down your cheek.
A glint of something off in a dark corner caught your attention, and you only let yourself look that way as you spat out the chunk of lip he’d made you bite off. You didn’t let any emotion show on your face, but inside you were already sighing in relief. That tiny spark of burnt orange was your salvation. The subtler crimson glow in the other corner only meant double safety.
You smiled, never minding the pain in your mouth as you laughed out loud.
“I think you broke ‘em,” the bearded one said.
“Me?” you spat, sitting up as straight as you could. “You honestly thought you could break me? You have no fucking idea who my monsters are, that much is painfully obvious. Trust me when I say they’re going to find all the ways to break you, every bone, every spirit, every fucking molecule. You’ll be wishing they’d just have mercy and kill you.”
“You stupid fucking--”
Before he could finish his sentence, the redhead screamed out in pain and fell to the ground. The other two jumped back, horrified to see a glowing rusty bone sticking out from the back of his knee. Still writhing, he began shouting at the others to help him as they started to scramble away.
Oh, but they were so far beyond help. You couldn’t help but laugh again as Edge corralled them all. Slim appeared beside you, worry in his eye lights as he sliced easily through the ropes binding you.
“are you okay, sweetheart?” he asked, gently cupping your bruised face. His eye lights were so small they were barely visible, his anger so palpable you nearly shrank away from it. But this was Slim and that anger was not for you.
“I don’t know if ‘okay’ is the word I’d use right now, but I will be. I knew you’d come for me.”
He only nodded as he silently assessed your visible injuries. “‘course we did. ‘m just sorry we took so long.”
You would have waved his concern away if he wasn’t holding both of your hands in his, his fingers trembling as he ever so gently ran a finger over your chipped and cracked fingernails.
“Slim.” Edge stepped up to the two of you, his features simultaneously softening in his affection for you and yet tensing in his rage at seeing your state more clearly. “Take them to the cellar, please,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let me get them home.”
Slim clenched his jaw, his internal war visible on his face. He so wanted to stay by your side, but the idea of being alone with your captors was all too appealing.
You smiled as best as you could and gently squeezed his fingers. “Go on, Slim. I’m not in any shape to shortcut right now. Just...leave some for Edge, will you?” You added the last part with a nod of your head toward the three men wrapped in a glowing crimson rope, and if their agonized expressions were anything to go by, you’d say Edge had packed a little too much intent into it.
Slim huffed but nodded. He lifted your hand only half way, leaning down to meet it halfway and placed a gentle kiss to the back of it, careful to avoid the scrapes there. He stood up then and shook himself to loosen up a bit before going to grab two of them by the chins, forcing them to crane their necks too far to look at him.
“y’all fucked up, you know that?” he asked in a tone far too loose for how angry you knew he was. “but hey, it’s okay. it’s all good. know what my role was underground? i was the one who taught people lessons. they did bad shit, i taught them how to not do that anymore. so i’m thinkin’ maybe i ought to teach y’all some lessons. lesson one, anatomy. how many bones are in the human skeleton? two hundred and six. lesson two, how many bones can i break before you die? now that’s a good question. not sure i know that answer yet. let’s find out.”
As Slim spoke, Edge began tenderly gathering you into his arms. You kept your winces and groans to yourself. He knew you were in pain; he didn’t need to fear that he was making it worse.
“You need to breathe, Love,” Edge said softly. “Don’t worry about making noises. You can cry out if you need.”
You shook your head stubbornly; you wouldn’t do that to him.
He only smirked at you and rearranged his hold on you before taking you out to the car. On the way, you looked behind him in time to see Slim disappear with your three captors.
Ex-captors. It was finally over.
Edge settled you gently into the passenger seat of Slim’s Bentley, leaning over you to buckle you in before hurrying around to the driver’s seat.
Once home, Edge carefully carried you inside and set you on the couch. You melted into the familiar comfort of it as Edge went around getting things ready for him and Slim to care for you and your injuries.
Sitting alone on the couch, the silence of the room seemed to get louder with each beat of your heart. You had survived, as you’d hoped you would. You hadn’t let yourself get scared, not once, because you trusted your monsters to come save you. But now, in the safety of home with your monsters there to comfort you, all that fear finally bubbled to the surface without your permission.
Your stomach felt hollow and your chest ached with too much pressure. Your chin wobbled as tears gathered in your eyes. Why did you have to be weak? You’d been so strong for so long, why did you have to be weak now when your monsters would see it?
A soft noise caught your attention, and you looked over to see Edge place a try with some tea down on the coffee table. He hurried to your side, concern on his features as he gently touched your cheek.
“Love? What hurts the most? What can I do?”
You shook your head. “It’s not pain,” you managed to whimper. Yes, you were in pain, but none of it was causing this sudden rush of so much fear you weren’t sure how to contain it. “Edge...why am I scared?”
Instead of the confusion or unbearable hurt you’d been expecting, his features softened into an understanding you were sure was worse. He pulled you into him as gently as he could and wrapped his arms around you, holding you to him securely.
“You were so strong, Love, so brave, just as we taught you. You’re safe here, and you know it. You need to let these emotions feel themselves out. You were scared, but you didn’t let yourself experience it. I know, because I know you. It’s okay to let yourself be scared now.”
You nodded into his chest and ignored the sharp sting of scabs scraping against his shirt.
He held you as you cried, let you weep and wail into him as your body shook from the force of it. Slim appeared at some point, didn’t say a thing, only sat on your other side and wrapped his arms around you and Edge, encasing you in a cocoon of comfort.
You were going to be okay. Your monsters would make sure of it.
Question: do Pickle bitties and Lapis bitties get along with each other? I have a *mighty need* to protect these sweet babies.
They can, in some circumstances! Pickles don’t have many other bitties they just refuse to get along with, and Lapis are very laid back as a rule. Their personalities mix well, because of this.
Hey so somehow I didn’t see there was an actual ask meme going on; I thought ppl were just sending in requests lol. If you’re still taking requests, I’d like to suggest # 1 and 9 for some cute and fluffy Spicyhoney.
I have two other asks for #9, so I stuck with #1, “That’s starting to get annoying”
I don’t think I managed cute and fluffy in this one? Closer to comfort for old hurts, but with sweetness at the end. Set back when Edge and Stretch first started dating.
~~*~~
“this looks like it hurt.”
He stiffened as Stretch’s fingertips lingered on oneof the ridged scars on his ribs. “That’s starting to get annoying.”
“sorry.” Stretch began to pull away and Edge turnedquickly, catching his hand in a gentle grip.
“No, wait. I’m sorry, I’m not accustomed to…this.”For all that they’d been dating for a couple months now, a dwindling part of Edge expected scorn at that confession, mocking, and he gritted his teeth,waiting.
Instead, Stretch only offered, “i can stop?”
Edge exhaled slowly, considering. They’d been sitting together on the sofa earlier, watching a movie when Stretch had asked him if he could take off his shirt in a tone of sly flirtation. At the time, he’d been agreeable enough. He didn’t suffer from body shyness; his uniform in Underfell had exposedhis spine and the upper curves of his iliac crests daily.
Revealing his bones was not much of an issue. Having Stretch touching him, though, that…that was…
Those gentle fingertips settled on his ribs again,Stretch’s palm pressed to his ribs, unmoving. “you okay?”
Of course he was okay, it was only a hand on him.A simple, gentle touch. He’d been touched before, many times. As a child, he had vague memories of Sans occasionally grabbing him, dragging him along, sleeping next to him on the coldest nights and…and there had been the spiders, no, no, thatwasn’t the same—
He had no memory of anyone touching him like this.
“Don’t stop,” Edge said, hoarsely. “Please.”
But that light, careful touch didn’t move. Edgeforced himself to look over his shoulder and Stretch looked startled, his eye lights wide.
He started to pull roughly away, already reachingfor his shirt.
“woah, hold on!” Stretch scrambled over him,snatching his shirt and tossing it out of reach. Before Edge could even assimilate to the suddenness of having Stretch in his lap, slender arms were aroundhim, pulling him in, holding him close.
Edge closed his sockets, sliding his own armsaround Stretch and pulling him closer still. He came willingly, settling his skull next to Edge’s. The length of his body all but molded against Edge, the two ofthem fitting together like the last pieces of a puzzle.
The sweet smell of his magic was growing sofamiliar. Edge buried his face against Stretch’s shoulder, breathing it in as gentle hands began wandering again, moving slowly, giving him a chance to object.
