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Thanks to @shepherdmoth's comic about Abel and Val having a sleepover, I can't stop thinking about how cute and fun these two would be together (and how weird it would be for everyone around them!)

#hazbin hotel abel #abel #valentino #hazbin hotel #hazbin art #shepherdmoth #rare ship #hazbin hotel valentino #vaggie #hazbin hotel vaggi

Explaining My OTP With Ship Dynamic Memes!

Welcome to Explaining My OTP With Ship Dynamic Memes, the Abel x Valentino edition!

These memes and art references fit perfectly within my ship headcanons because certain poses/stuff just attract me. 😳👉👈 (If only I could draw ಥ_ಥ)

(Please click on the pictures below for better quality~)

Abel is Val's sugar baby and you can't convince me otherwise.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the ship dynamic memes; I just found them on Pinterest. If anyone knows who some of the pictures belong to, let me know and I’ll credit them.

The Vee Who Got Left Behind

Co-author: @small-tragedies Characters: Vox, Valentino, Abel, Velvette (Mentioned), Emily (Mentioned), Lute (Mentioned I guess lol?) Pairing: Abel x Valentino, Velvette x Emily. Dividers by: @pixopix Divider link: [here] Warnings: Crack Ship, Crack Fic, Crack Treated Seriously, Post Season 2, Rarepair, Explicit Language. Tag: @amethystoceandespiser

One year later

Vox had finally regenerated his body back.

It took twelve months, three full system reboots, and a humiliating amount of time spent as a screen. The experience had left him hungry to reclaim his image, but he was whole again… Tall, sleek, and convinced he was still the most powerful and sexiest thing in the Vees.

So of course he strutted right up to Valentino like nothing had happened.

“Val, baby” Vox purred, voice low and practiced. “Miss me?”

Val didn’t even turn fully toward him. He just sighed, flicking ash from his cigarette.

“No. And that little charming act you do doesn’t work on me anymore.” He lifted his hand and flashed his ring. “I’m married now.”

Vox froze. “Married? To who?! Val, please don’t tell me you married that little whore Angel Du—”

“Hello,” Abel said gently, gliding forward with a small wave.

Vox stared. Then laughed. “This… This is a joke, right? Val, c’mon! An angel? This guy? He’s a wimp. He’s soft. He’s—what? Pudgy? Short? A loser? Hardly a man?”

Val’s eye twitched. Then he stepped between them, shoving Vox back with a force that made his screen flicker.

“Listen here, you outdated toaster,” Val snapped. “Abel is my sweet papito. He listens to me. He tells me which guns make me look sexier. He gives me taffies—and not the shitty ones, the really good ones. And... he’s the most attentive lover I’ve ever had~”

Abel blushed and Vox gagged.

Val kept going, voice rising with every word. “He actually respects me! Wild concept, I know. But he treats me like a person, and not like a prop! He’s more of a man than you’ll ever manage!”

Valentino paused for a moment as his expression softened. “And I swear, I fell for Abel the moment I saw him put his angel slut in her place…” he said dreamily.

“Teenie,” Abel interrupted softly, touching his arm. “I don't own her. And please don’t call her that. It’s very demeaning.”

Val rolled his eyes with an aggravated huff. “Fiiiiine! I won’t call her a slut.”

Then he grabbed Abel by the collar, yanked him close, and murmured with a wicked grin: “But you’re my little angel slut~”

Abel squeaked as Val nuzzled him. Vox recoiled like he’d been splashed with acid.

“Ugh, this is revolting,” Vox muttered. “I didn’t come back from decapitation for this.”

“Abel straightened, smoothing his robe, suddenly composed again.

“Mr. Vox,” he said politely, “Valentino has told me a lot about you. And honestly, I don’t feel comfortable with you being around him.”

Vox blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve hurt him,” Abel continued, still calm. “And one thing that particularly bothered me was when you referred to his Spanish as ‘island language.’ That was unapologetically racist, by the way.”

Val’s grin was razor‑sharp as Vox sputtered.

“Valentino is from Florida,” Abel explained, “and he has Puerto Rican roots. There’s a whole history of Puerto Rican culture in Florida, like—” he lifted his hand and began counting on his fingers, “migration, music, food, community, and you dismissed every bit of that.”

Vox opened his mouth, but Abel kept going, gentle but firm.

“And frankly… everyone here has moved on without you. Velvette’s with my friend Emily now, and she’s really improved herself and her cyberbullying.”

Val added, “Yeah, babe. Velvette’s too busy being in love with her own little angel slut to bother with your flat ass.”

“They’re ridiculously happy,” Abel added, letting out a small giggle.

Vox’s screen glitched. “Velvette… moved on and stopped cyberbullying?”

Yup,” Val said, popping the ‘p.’ “You’re the only one still stuck.”

Abel squeezed Val’s hand.

Val squeezed back.

Vox stared at them… The sinner and the angel, ridiculous and affectionate and absolutely unbothered by him. And for the first time in a long time, he had no comeback.

Just static.

Notes:

Okay, I literally discovered this ship last Sunday and immediately fell in love with it thanks to @shepherdmoth. It has all my favorite flavors—villain x good guy, tall x short, rarepair, and gay as hell~

I was on a walk with my sister telling her about it, and we ended up coming up with this funny little AU/scenario together where Val and Velvette have moved on from Vox and are working toward redemption with the help of their angel partners. We hope whoever read this enjoyed it!

I know this was meant to be a crack fic, but it’s my first time writing any of these characters, so fingers crossed I didn’t butcher them. 🤞

And yes, Val was referring to Lute as Abel’s “angel slut.” Val has a thing for angels, and he’s thrilled that both he and Velvette have one of their own lol.