Okay so this is a pseudo-meta I have been thinking of writing for a while now and I happened to find the time today so HERE IT IS:
I have this weird theory that Sherlock was absolutely miserable before meeting John and it has to do with a subtle acting choice of Benedicts.
So here we are, at the Reichenbach fall, Sherlock's whole world is crashing down around him. He suspects John has been played by Moriarty too.
He has this horrible snarl on his face until John makes a Joke, which gives him this half-smile. The sad eyes and tense face, however, remain.
I was so taken by the complexity of Ben's acting from this scene, that upon rewatching the series again for the hundredth time I realized that he makes the same face upon his first encounter with John in Barts Morgue:
Just to compare, here are the two faces as still images:
In TRF Sherlock is being tormented by Moriarty. He is left to watch helplessly as Jim dismantles his reputation bit by bit. Sherlock is at his breaking point when he accuses John of being fooled by Moriarty's mind games. John, who sees Sherlock under duress restates that he knows Sherlock 100% and makes a joke to lighten the mood. Sherlock softens slightly.
My theory here is that not only was Sherlock just as lonely as John was when they met but that he was going crazy being alone and was desperate for some companionship; just as affected and unstable as when Moriarty came into the picture. I would further argue that his phone never lost signal and he knew that Mike always keeps his phone in his other coat pocket.
Before John came into Sherlock's life he was miserable and he was off the drugs now so there was no respite aside from the distraction of the game. He wanted a friend.
So in conclusion, #Sherlocklives means #Johnlives. I rest my case.
peeps under the cut, am I tinhatting too hard??? LOL
A/N Hi guys, this one is a bit different, requested by our dear anon. Hope you like it dear! In this one you are sixteen years old. Warning: ANGST!
Summary: After the death of your parental figure, you try to move on with your life but, what happens when you discover that the famous detective of 221B isn’t really dead?
You and John are on a taxi, time tickling against you both. After discovering that the phone call John received earlier this day was false, about Mrs. Hudson been shot; you two are on your way back to St. Barts where you left Sherlock as he was ‘busy’.
The cab stops and John throws some cash at the driver before exiting it with you behind him. Suddenly, his phone starts to ring and he answers it, still walking to the hospital. “Hello?” the ex-army doctor says through the phone.
You two quicken your pace and after a couple of seconds, John says again “Hey, Sherlock, you okay?” you look up at him “No, I’m coming in” you continue to walk behind John, there is a pause as Sherlock speaks with him on the other line “Where?” he turns around and walks back to where he was standing with you moments later. You follow him, confuse at his actions.
“Sherlock?” he asks through the phone “Oh, God.” John mutters and looks up at the rooftop, you follow his gaze and what you see, makes colour drain from your face: there stands Sherlock, it looks like his about to jumps as he is so close to edge. “What’s going on?” asks John. You look between Sherlock and John “What?” you hear him say to the detective. You wish you could listen to the other part of the conversation “Why are you saying this?....Sherlock.”
You look at John with fear in your (e/c) eyes “Okay, shut up, Sherlock, shut up. The first time we met. The first time we met, you knew all about my sister. Right?” says the man standing next to you, desperation in his voice. “You could. As well as (y/n).” you fix your gaze towards the rooftop as you hear John say “That’s why she’s been living in your flat, why you became her legal guardian. Because what you two can do is possible....it’s not a trick.” Silence engulfs the moment, then John hands the phone to you. “He wants to speak with you.” you take it from him as he buries his head in his hands.
“Sherlock?” you say through the phone “Hey, (y/n).” you swallow the lump that is forming on your throat “What’s going on?” you hear him chuckle “You know what’s going on, you’ve always been so clever.” tears fill your eyes “Just come here. Don’t...don’t do what I think you are going to do...please. Let’s go home.” some second past in silence, not sure what to say to him “This phone call...it’s my note. It’s what people do, don’t they? Leave a note.” you let out a sob “You can’t leave me. Not. You...please. don’t do this to me. I can’t lose another father.” you voice cracking at your last sentence. He sighs in the other line, and you ca hear how his voice is full of guilt, regret and sadness. “You are strong (y/n), you’ve always been. And I know you’ll succeed in life, you’ll become a beautiful woman, get married and live your life as you deserve it.” you sob again and whisper through the phone “Daddy, please.” you hear him sniffle “Goodbye (y/n).”
You lower the phone, John looks at you and then at Sherlock. You see how he spreds his arms open and lean forwards, falling. “Sherlock!” John shouts, you just stare at him in horror, seeing him fall to his death, you and John stay glued to your spot for a couple of seconds after Sherlock landed on the pavement.
The ex-army doctor takes your hand in his and starts to drag you towards Sherlock. Everything around you seems to slow down, you can’t hear anything, you just want to get to Sherlock. Due to you guys’ shock, neither of you heard the cyclist that was behind you two until it hits John and he fall to the cold ground, dragging you with him as he is still holding your hand.
Your ears are ringing, you and John stand up slowly, he takes your hand again while in your other hand you are holding hid phone. People start to gather around Sherlock’s body. You hear vaguely how John mutters the detective’s names over and over again.
You arrive at the scene, John lets go of your hand “I’m a doctor. Let me come through. Let me come through, please.” the people around try to stop him to reach his friend, the same happens to you as you just want to be with John, you can’t believe Sherlock’s death. He can’t. “No, he’s my friend. He’s my friend, please.” you make your way through the crowd and when you see him there, laying on the ground, blood everywhere; you fall to your knees and start to sob uncontrollably. John take his wrist to see if there is a pulse but again, the people around makes him stay behind as some paramedics come and take Sherlock’s body inside the hospital.
John also falls to his knees as he says under his breath “Oh, Jesus, no...” he leans on a woman slightly, trying to make the shock go away, trying to wake up from this nightmare. You feel how someone puts a hand on your shoulder as you cry on your hands. After a moment, you feel how the person hugs you and you clung onto him as the calming voice of an older man says to you “It will all be alright. It’s okay.” you don’t know him and you don’t think you’ll ever see him again but you just need a shoulder to cry on, and the confort this man gives, makes you calm a bit and now you are just crying silently, seeing John in the same state as you.
Two days later.
You are now waiting a few feet away of Sherlock’s grave, Mrs. Hudson is standing at your right; you two are waiting for John to finish talking to his friend, your eyes are watery as you remember that just a week ago, you were living in 221B Baker street, with experiments on the kitchen’s table and body parts in the fridge. Sharing the place with the now dead detective.
A crystalline tear rolls down your cheek as the thought crosses your mind, this doesn’t go unnoticed by Mrs. Hudson, who quickly hugs you “I miss him.” you say to her, she just sighs at you “I know, dear. I know. Believe me or not, I miss him too.” you two stay like this until John comes back, you separate from the embrace and John says to you “We’ll wait for you at the gate, (y/n).” you nod at him and make your way towards the consulting detective’s grave.
You stand in front of the grave, there are some flowers next to it, you take a few steps forward and place a white rose with the rest of the flowers, a tear fall in it while you lower the rose into the ground. You sniffle and step back, then you start to say “I know that you can’t hear me but...I’ll say it anyway. John says it helps to...you know.” you sigh and close your eyes as you let some tears roll down your cheeks. “Why did you do it?” you open your eyes, your vision blurred by the tears “Why? We could have solve it together, Sherlock. Like old times, you didn’t have to jump.” a sob escapes your lips and you fall to your knees. “Please, come back. I need you. You gave me a home, you were my family. I already lost a father, please...don’t leave me.” you continue to cry your eyes out, just wanting him to come back home with you. “You were supposed to be there for me, to see me grow. Please come back daddy. I love you.” more and more tears stream down your face as you cry in your hands one more time.
You don’t know how much time you were crying, but at some point, you felt drained of all your energy, now, you are just sitting in front of the gravestone, silent tears run down your red cheeks. Suddenly, you feel a hand on your shoulder but you don’t look up “Come on (y/n), let’s go home.” you know it’s John, apparently you have stayed there more time than estimated. You just nod and stand up, John graps an arm around your shoulder and the two of you start to head out of the cementery. But little do you know that Sherlock is standing some feet away from you, he saw when John talked to him as well as when you did. He wants to let you know that he’s okay, that he’ll come home one day but he can’t, there is something he need to deal with and the faster he starts, the sooner he’ll be back home.
One year later
Today is your graduation day, after finishing your studies in criminology at Oxford University, you are finally going to graduate and start a new life, a normal life. Or that’s what you think.
Mrs. Hudson has been pleading you to go to the graduation party after the ceremony, but you just don’t feel like it. A year ago, you pictured this day as one of the most significative in your life, as it is the beginning of your adult life, or at least professional life, seeing as you are now seventeen, you’ll have to wait a bit to be completely independent. you imagined yourself in a beautiful blue dress that you saw in a store in central London one time, you were actually saving to buy that dress, you imagined putting on your make up and doing your hair earlier this day, putting the dress on and Mrs. Hudson cooking dinner by the time you were back, but the most important thing, was that you pictured yourself with Sherlock, you want him to be a part of such an important day for you. But since what happened a year ago, you don’t want to go alone. You don’t want to do it without him, so you are not going to go to the afterparty.
Later that day...
You make your way into the flat that once you shared with your dad. You sigh as you leave the diploma you received earlier that day on the kitchen’s table. You walk towards the mirror placed above the fireplace and look at your reflextion, you take a deep breath and continue to stare at yourself, until, out of the corner of your eye, you spot something on the coffee table.
You turn around and see something that wasn’t there this morning: there is a black gift box with a silver ribon on top of it. You take it and sit on Sherlock’s chair to open the mysterious box in your hands.
You take of the lid and what you see, brings tears to your eyes: there is a beautiful necklace with two hearts attached to the other, but what made your eyes water was the note inside.
you read it over and over again as you start to cry silently when realization hits you: It was from Sherlock. He took the time to buy you a gift and his words mean the world to you.
You take the necklace from the box and put it around your neck. You place your hand over it and say “Thank you, dad.”
One year later...
You always wear the necklace that Sherlock left you, you still don’t know how it got there as it wasn’t in the flat on your graduation day. Unlocking the door of the building you never left behind, you enter in the familiar place. “Oh dear, I didn't’ know you were coming this early.” says Mrs. Hudson while coming out of her flat. “Well, I managed to solve a kidnapping case rather quickly so Lestrade gave me the rest of the day. I also bought some groceries.” you say glancing at the bags full of food in your hands. “Thank (y/n), I’ll go and put everything in it’s place, I’ll make you a cup of tea once I finish dear.” says the older lady, taking the bags from you,, she walks back to her own flat.
You climb up the stairs and enter your flat, letting your purse on the coffee table, you lay on the couch and start to play with the necklace around your neck. Later that day, Mrs. Hudson brought you the tea but you just stayed on the couch until it turned cold. Then. you try to taste it, you obviously don’t like it cold so you put it on the table again.
You start to play with your necklace again, you miss Sherlock, you really do, but you learned hoe to move on. You still couldn’t talk about what happened dtwo years ago as it all brings tears to your eyes. You learnt how to live without him, though that doesn’t mean you don’t miss him.
You sigh and look up at the yellow smiley face with bullet holes on the wall, you still remembered when Sherlock was bored out of his mind and decided to paint the smiley face with some yellow paint and shoot at it while he was sitting in his chair. He even let you shoot two times. You smile at the memory and how John came running through the stairs and started to shout about that not being an appropriate thing to teach to a fifteen year old girl. You chuckle as you remember everything like if you are seeing a scene of a movie.
Suddenly, you hear Mrs. Hudson scream from downstairs. you quickly stand up and grab the gun that is on one of Sherlock’s drawers. You make your way down the stairs silently, gun at hand. But what you see, makes the gun fall from your hands: there he stand, Sherlock Holmes, the world’s only consulting detective is baack from the grave. “How....?” you start to say but not further words come out of your mouth.
Mrs. Hudson returns to her flat, trying to calm herself. Sherlock starts to take a step towards you but you just turn around and run upstairs. Once in the flat you look out of the window, tears running down your cheeks “It’s not real, you are just seeing things. He’s dead (y/n). He won’t come back.” you say to yourself “(y/n).” you, then hear that deep voice you haven’t heard in so long, you turn around and see him standing in the doorway, just as you remembered him, brown, long curls, black trench coat and blue scarf. It is definetly him. “You’ve grown so much since I last saw you”. he says in a calm voice.
Then, everything clicked in your mind; the phone call you two had two years ago, the mysterious cases you went to solve, how Moriarty got out of jail: it was all a game, a game that had to end with Sherlock’s death or everyone he ever cared for would have died that day..
You are not angry at him, you feel betrayed, unworthy that he didn’t trust you to keep his secret. Your silence starts to worry him “I see you liked the necklace.” he says, trying to lighten the mood. “I wear it everyday.” you say, your voice cracking “How could you do this to me? How could you give me everything I ever needed and then take it away so merciless? How could you leave me behind? Letting me grieve for you, thinking that I had lost my dad. How could you do that?” your voice sounds so hurt that just hear you talk like that, makes the supposedly heartless man flinch at your tone.
“I’m so so so sorry (y/n). I know you already figured it out why I had to do it and believe me when I say to you that all this time, my biggest regret was leaving you behind. Please...forgive me.” he rarely apologises, but you can see in his eyes that he’s been genuine.
You run into him, hugging him and crying your eyes out. He returns the hug almost immediately and you two sink to the floor, embracing each other. “Please...don’t leave me ever again.” you say through your sobs.
Sherlock tightens his grip around you “I promise (y/n). Never again, we’ll never be apart again, okay? You can count on that.” and in that moment, you feel how a big weight is lifted form your shoulders, you take a deep breath and relax in his embrace “I love you daddy.” you mutter to him “I love you too (y/n). I love you too.”
march/11/2021
hope you liked this one, sorry if I made you cry, I cried like three times writing this. Take care my sugar cubes and remember that you can always send me requests as I really enjoy writing your ideas. xxx
The only reason Anderson’s theory in which Sherlock left John for Moriarty wouldn’t make sense is that Sherlock openly cared for John. He was actually treated like a person by John and appreciated him more than he could explain. It was not necessary a romantic connection, though most would agree that there is, but John was the first to treat him right. He was later seen cry for John. He would have never left John for Jim without telling him that he was not dead first.
