@shieldslinger - ❝ These donuts are not that old. ❞
critical role starters
"That's a joke, right." So it's like this: Steve Rogers cannot - repeat, cannot - be trusted with the condition of food. Tony thinks it's a combination of his being a hypertaster, growing up during the Great Depression, and being what is essentially a living garbage disposal for the most part, but his judgment is...Suspect. At best. He's seen what Steve calls spaghetti, and Tony's not-actual-nonna would be rolling in her grave to know her grandson was allowing that in his home.
Among other reasons, but he's pretty sure Steve's attempts at cooking would be the biggest offender. For all that she had been a well-to-do type, he's come to understand an Italian grandma is an Italian grandma no matter what.
Anyway, back to the donuts: He's fairly sure donuts typically aren't supposed to last beyond the morning you buy them, actually. And those, he knows for a fact, were bought fresh. Because he's the one that bought them. For last week's team meeting. Normally there's nothing left after those, makes clean up nice and minimal, but one of the usual suspects (Thor) hadn't been able to make it, some All-Daddy thing or whatever, and Tony hadn't actually been hungry, and-
Well, point is, there had been leftover donuts.
And there those donuts sit, right there on the mansion's kitchen island, looking - to his untrained eye - a little desiccated. He gingerly picks one up out of the box - the last plain glazed, and gives it a gentle experimental squish between his gauntleted fingers, and-
The glaze cracks, his fingers sink in - not into soft, fried, pillowy goodness, but hard and brittle stale bread.
It should be reiterated that Steve absolutely cannot be trusted.
"These are practically fossilized at this point." To further drive his point home, he taps the side of the donut on the edge of the counter. Where a fresh donut will squish, this one simply sadly thunks, dropping slivers of hard glaze he's sure Teddy will be along any moment to hoover off the floor. "If you weren't so damn stubborn, you could have nice, fresh donuts, instead of these...Mummified circles of sadness."
