“See, you and I have different beliefs. I believe in the Will of Fire. That pathetic Lord Jashin or whatever isn’t your God any more. I am. The only one bringing down vengeance is me.”
a/n | my last fic for shikamaru week and i`m really proud of this one. i wanna thank @shikanaradai for the plot, cause it was her idea. also, would like to thank @shikamarubase for being the host of this amazing week, hope you got happy with the result!! and to the all amazing people in naragakure discord server, i hope this is only the beginning! <3
beta | @deviswriting <3 thank you for the best partner i could`ve asked for!!
masterlist in bio
The first time, it was an accident.
Temari wasn’t supposed to be in Konoha, but Gaara always liked to give her the diplomatic missions. It was a good excuse to see his face, so imagine how disappointed she was when he wasn’t at the meeting. When asked, no one knew where her boyfriend was, or even why he wasn’t working today.
Kakashi was the one who apparently knew, but also didn’t say anything.
Walking around the village, it didn’t take much time until she reached Ino’s flower shop. It was unusually closed, especially at this hour of the day. She walked through the streets, thinking about going to Shikamaru’s house but, on a second thought she wondered if their relationship had reached that level of intimacy. Until Naruto appeared in front of her.
“It’s Asuma’s death anniversary.” It was all he said, before shrugging and leaving the Suna girl behind. After that there wasn’t much needed to be said.Pressing her lips in a thin line, Temari resumed her walking, but this time she had a destination in mind. Her feet drove her until she reached his favorite spot.
There he was.
Lying with the grass on his back, staring at the clouds. There was a lighter in his hands, which he opened and closed more times that she could count. His gaze was locked on the sky above him.
Temari pondered her options. She could go away, let him be, or she could go there and risk doing something wrong. Fighting every reasonable judgement in her mind, she went for the later.
There was no ‘hi’, or any greetings at all. She just laid next to him, without touching, only existing next to each other. Right beside her, she could hear the clicks of him fiddling with his lighter.
She fixed her eyes on the clouds. Temari was never able to understand his fascination over them, but she couldn’t deny that it was relaxing. After staring at them for so long, at some point, it was easy to believe they’re the ones moving, not them. She closed her eyes, taking in the nice breeze.
The blond girl didn’t know exactly when she heard her boyfriend stand up. The horizon was already painted in orange. He looked down at her and the tears in the corner of his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by her, but she didn’t comment on them. Taking a deep breath, Shikamaru offered his hand to help her to get up, which she took without thinking twice. Even when she was on her feet again, he didn’t let go of her.
They walked in silence. Temari just followed his lead. Shikamaru only stopped when both arrived at Konoha’s cemetery. By the corner of her eyes, she saw his lower lip tremble before he bite it.
Shikamaru let go of her hand and walked closer to his sensei’s grave. Temari kept a safe distance between the both of them and stopped when he leaned down at his sensei’s grave. He muttered a few words that she couldn’t hear and left the lighter there.
As he stood up, her boyfriend took a deep breath before turning back to her and grabbing her hand once again.
-
The next time, it wasn’t an accident.
Temari arrived in Konoha by morning. The sky was clear of any clouds today, but somehow she knew he would still be there. This time, when she laid next to him, he grabbed her hand right away, intertwining their fingers while he opened and closed the lighter until the sunset.
They stopped at the cemetery once more. Shikamaru left the lighter on his sensei’s grave once again, and they left.
Shikamaru didn’t bear the weight in his shoulders this time.
-
When Shikadai was born, it was the first year Temari didn’t spend the anniversary with him.
She felt terrible about it, but there was no way she could lay down in the grass with a baby. Shikadai would probably cry, taking all the attention of his father from this important day.
The clock seemed to mock her, with its endless spinning. When it hit 6pm, the orange rays were piercing through the window. Mentally, she retraced the path through his - no, their spot - to the cemetery. He was probably there now, bending down and putting the lighter there, one more time.
Shikadai slept. She remembered all the times she heard Ino and Sakura complain about how their kids would take so long to sleep. Sleeping was never a problem to her kid.
‘Sleep when your kid does’, said every parenting book ever. But she couldn’t, not when he still wasn’t home yet.
It didn’t take long. Shikamaru opened the door carefully, his gaze meeting her’s as soon as he entered their bedroom. There wasn’t sadness or hurt… he just looked tired.
Her husband kicked his shoes and crawled into the bed with her. Taking a deep breath, Temari let herself to rest, knowing he was there next to her. Suddenly, two arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer. Shikamaru smelled like grass in a rainy day and cigarettes.
They dozened off in that position.
-
“It’s that day again, isn’t it?”
Shikadai’s voice took her from her distracted thoughts. As growing up, at that particular day, Temari would ask for someone to take care of her son while she could keep her tradition with Shikamaru. The first year, Kankuro babysitted him. The next one, it was Gaara.
Didn’t take much time until she was asking for her Konoha’s friends.
“Yes, love. Can you stay at Boruto’s for the day?” Temari asked her son, who just nodded in response.
When Shikamaru appeared in the kitchen, the lighter in hands, she could read the question on his pretty face.
You coming?
Temari moved to Shikadai, placing a kiss on his forehead, while Shikamaru came closer, offering his son his fist. With a soft smile, Shikadai accepted it.
They did the same thing as always. Laid in the grass while watching the clouds, waiting until the sunset, then going to the cemetery.
The sorrow she used to witness in a younger Shikamaru wasn’t there anymore. Temari could tell he missed him, but it didn’t crush him anymore. The man next to her learned how to deal with the losses he had dealt with during his lifetime and turned it into his strength and for that, she couldn’t love him more.
When they got home, Shikadai was asleep in his bedroom. It was unusually early for him, but she didn’t argue. Temari joined her husband on their bed. Shikamaru pulled her closer and she rested her head on his chest, falling asleep.
At the middle of the night, they heard a gentle knock on the door. Temari sat up straight, alarmed, thinking about something could have happened to her son, when her husband’s miniature popped his head in their room.
“Is papa asleep?” His sleepy voice came out from the gap.
“No.” Shikamaru replied behind her and she made a gesture for him to come in.
“Can I turn the lights on?” Shikadai asked and Temari frowned.
“Sure, but why?”
She heard some steps and she had to blink a few times before her sight could adjust to the new light in the room. Taking a good look at Shikadai, Temari’s frown deepened.
“Is everything okay, Shikadai?”
“Yes.” He said, his cheeks a bit red. He bypassed their bed, stopping at Shikamaru’s side, who was now sitting on the bed, his frown mirroring hers.
“So, I saw this in one store and I thought you could like it.”
Shikadai looked at the ground and stretched his arms to offer his father a little gift. Shikamaru grabbed the tiny package, inspecting it. He ripped it, finding a blue lighter, with a white cloud in the back.
Temari swallowed hard, trying to keep away the tears from falling. One good look at her husband’s face and she knew he was doing the same.
“Thanks, Dai. It’s a really good gift, but you shouldn’t have spent your mo-”
“It’s fine.” Shikadai interrupted, shrugging. He scratched the back of his head, looking at the door. His instinct was probably telling him to run away from two emotional parents. “It costed almost nothing anyway. Also, I was wondering… If it’s not too troublesome, can you get home early tomorrow so we can play shogi?”
“I can certainly try.” Shikamaru smiled.
“Okay. So..” Shikadai started walking away from the bed, his little hand looking for the light switch once again. “Good night, mom, dad.”
“Night.” Both of his parent answered in unison.
Then, the whole room got dark again and all they heard was the noise of the door getting closed.
Temari laid again and by Shikamaru’s movements, she could tell he did the same. When Shikamaru brightened the room with his new gift, his features seemed something near angelic.
“It’s fun.” He commented while he put out the fire, the whole room being swallowed by dark once again.
“What?”
“My light just gave me light.” He lighted it up once again, making the enormous grin on his face visible.
Temari smiled. This time, she didn’t wait for Shikamaru to pull her closer, she tucked in next to his body while he was still playing with the lighter, as it brightened the whole room.
“Shika?”
“Hm?”
“If you burn this bed, this fire will be the last one you’ll see in a while.”
They were in love, and they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, but neither wanted to break the news to her brothers.
Written for Shikamaru Week 2019 Day 4: Tears / Proposal.
Read it on Ao3.
“Are you ready?”
Temari glanced at him, nervousness evident through her usually composed expression. She didn’t want to do this, but she also knew it was unavoidable.
“Are you?”
Shikamaru shrugged. He really wasn’t looking forward to this either, but they were probably as prepared as they could be. He took her hand and squeezed it, giving what he hoped was a relatively confident and reassuring smile.
“We’re ready.”
She gave him a small smile. Then she took a deep breath and pushed through the door.
The Kazekage’s office was slightly bigger than the Hokage’s office. Gaara had a few chairs for guests, and Kankuro was currently sprawled in one playing a handheld game, his feet propped up on the Kazekage’s desk. Gaara was still working diligently, though he had shed his robe and hat and hung them on the back of his chair.
“Kankuro,” Temari snapped, “get your feet off the desk! Gaara, you can’t just let him do whatever he wants.”
The Kazekage shrugged, not looking up from his work. “It’s the end of the day, and I don’t have any other meetings scheduled.”
“That’s not the point.” She marched over to her brother and pushed his legs off the desk.
“Hey!” The puppet master scrambled not to lose his balance. “Aw man, you made me lose the match!” He waved his game at her in protest.
“Serves you right for your impropriety.”
“Oh hey, the crybaby’s here.” Kankuro grinned, the same dangerous grin Temari used right before she begins a fight she knows she’s going to win. It looked almost grotesque with his face paint, but it was also much less effective because its target was used to it.
“Shikamaru, we weren’t expecting you.” Gaara looked up, but kept his pen in his hand. “Is this visit official or personal?”
“Personal.” It was a question he was used to. Dating the Kazekage’s sister while being the Hokage’s advisor required a constant definition of the boundary between diplomacy and privacy. Hopefully he wouldn’t need to distinguish between the two going forward.
“Then may I ask why you came to my office? Unless you’re just that eager to see me and couldn’t wait for me to come home for dinner.”
He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to Gaara’s humor. It came at him unexpectedly, but the Kazekage enjoyed teasing others as much as his siblings. He just had a better poker face while doing so.
“We’re here,” Temari answered, “to file a residence change application.” She dropped a pre-prepared packet of papers onto the desk. With a deep breath, she announced in a rush, “Shikamaru and I are getting married.”
“What?” Kankuro flew out of his chair, looking with surprise between his sister and her boyfriend--wait, fiancé. “Well it’s about time!”
“Congratulations,” Gaara added, finally setting down his pen and genuinely smiling.
“How did he propose? Was it romantic? You’d better treat her right, you little punk, or you’ll have to deal with me! Though she’ll probably tear you apart herself first.”
“Kankuro, be nice,” Temari warned.
“What? I’m just telling him what he needs to know to survive in this family.”
“Oh trust me, I already knew that, but thanks for looking out for me.” Shikamaru gave Kankuro a grin and a fist bump. He liked his girlfriend’s--wait, fiancée’s--brothers. They could be weird, but they kept things interesting.
“So? How did it happen?”
He shrugged. “We just decided to get married.”
“You didn’t set up a romantic date night and sweep her off her feet at the end? No public spectacle? Did you use your shadow jutsu to spell out ‘Temari, will you marry me?’ in a field of wildflowers? Come on, I need something to gossip about at the next council meeting!”
Temari rolled her eyes. “You think Mr. What-a-Drag would plan something that involved?”
“Uh, yeah! He’s literally the plan guy in Konoha. That’s his job .”
“Like I said,” Shikamaru cut in, “we were just talking and decided to get married.”
“Out of the blue? Just like that?” Kankuro looked skeptical.
“Look,” his sister sighed, “we’ve been together long enough to know we’re not going to break up, so we might as well make everything official and get married. Plus I am tired of finding lame excuses to make trips back and forth between Suna and Konoha.”
“So it’s a marriage of convenience?” The dangerous grin was back on the puppet master’s face.
“Oh for goodness’ sake,” she hissed, shooting her boyfriend--wait, fiancé--an exasperated look. He simply shrugged his shoulders helplessly, knowing Kankuro would never tire of teasing them. It was strangely endearing, even if it could get annoying quickly.
“Temari,” Gaara called softly. He had been looking over the application she had slapped on his desk during their brother’s interrogation. She froze. They had reached the part of the conversation she wished they could avoid. Shikamaru saw something nearly like fear in her eyes as she met the Kazekage’s questioning gaze, her jaw stiffening in an attempt to remain in control of her facial features.
Gaara, never one to use more words than necessarily, waited, but his sister remained silent.
“What? What is it?” Kankuro looked between his siblings, his playfulness leaving him. He could tell something serious was brewing. Gaara waited a little longer, but Temari seemed unable to speak.
“She wishes to move to Konoha.”
“ What ?” Kankuro’s disbelief was stronger than his previous surprise. What little mirth remained in his face fled as it hardened. Suddenly Shikamaru saw the dangerous warrior in him, a quiet anger that shimmered beneath his pageantry and frivolity. Where moments ago he was welcoming him to the family, Kankuro now appeared vaguely threatening.
“I am moving to Konoha,” Temari declared in a low voice. When she looked at her brother, there were tears in her eyes, but her jaw was set in determination.
“Why?” Kankuro demanded. “Why you? Why not make him move here?”
“I offered,” Shikamaru interjected, coming to stand by his girlfriend--wait, fiancée--and take her hand. She gripped it tightly. “And if you deny her application, then I will move to Suna.”
“Alright, application denied! I hope you like sand up your butt, because you’ll have to get used to it here.” Kankuro’s eyes glinted dangerously.
“You don’t have the authority to make that decision,” Temari challenged.
“Gaara, make it official, so this sick joke can be over.”
“It’s not a joke,” his sister responded. Shikamaru knew she hated arguing with her brothers when it wasn’t in jest. He could see how painful she found this. After years of trying to protect her brothers, of dedicating herself to making the world safer for them, of helping them build a future of peace and freedom, she was walking away from them for a lazy oaf from another village. What did she see in him to merit such a decision?
Gaara, who had been quiet while his brother exploded, was watching them with a ponderous expression. His siblings looked at him, waiting for him to lean one way or the other to give someone the advantage, but he simply asked, “Why?”
Temari let out a long breath, gathering her thoughts. Shikamaru squeezed her hand reassuringly. They had explored every argument to their situation, debated the details, pursued pipe dreams and tore them apart with reality. They believed this was the best decision for their future--Shikamaru and Temari, the two of them together--but that made it no less difficult to convince the others.
“I love Suna,” she began. “It’s home. It’s where my family is. It’s where we’ve built on the legacy we were given. I am not turning my back on this village, and I am not turning my back on you.” She was getting a little choked up, and he strengthened his grip on her hand, hoping to convey how much he loved her, how grateful he was for what she was doing.
“I love Suna,” she repeated, “but I also love Shikamaru. I love him so much that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, which means one of us has to give up our work. Konoha needs Shikamaru in a way that Suna doesn’t need me.”
“But we do need you!” Kankuro burst out, but Temari shook her head.
“The village doesn’t. It already has a wise Kazekage and a shrewd advisor. You two have strengthened this village and brought peace to its people just as much as I have. And you have Baki and the council to help you make difficult decisions. Suna is thriving. It’s in good hands with you, which is why I can leave. Konoha is...messy. There are years of mistrust and misguidance to rewrite, and it needs a lot of healing. I’ve seen how important Shikamaru’s role in that is. He’s doing his best to create a future free of war and pain, the type of future I know you will make for Suna. I want to support him and see what he can accomplish, which is why I want to move to Konoha.”
She smiled at her fiancé, and it was one of her rare, soft smiles that made warmth spread through his chest. He wanted to kiss her, to tell her how much her faith in him meant, but he didn’t have the words, so he settled for giving her hand another squeeze.
“I don’t deserve this,” he said, meaning every word. Temari claimed he was building a future for Konoha, but she was his future, and the moments when this hit him made him feel like his brain was short-circuiting. It was so much, this gift of her love, that it was unfathomable.
“I know this is a lot to ask of all three of you.” He glanced at her brothers, these men he had grown to know and enjoyed spending time with. Gaara was taking it all in quietly, showing traces of bewilderment in his gaze but weighing what they were saying in his mind. Kankuro’s whole body was tense, but his face paint had blurred around the edges where a few tears had escaped his scowl. “I respect you and everything you have done for each other and for this village. I don’t want to tear any of it apart. But I trust Temari’s judgment, and she’s willing to give me the chance to help the next generation of ninja grow up in peace. I promise I won’t take that for granted. I won’t take her for granted, either.”
“You better not,” Kankuro hissed. He was glaring intensely at him, another tear leaking out of the corner of his eye, and when he took a step towards Shikamaru, the latter felt the urge to back away. But he didn’t, and the next moment, the puppet master was hugging him tightly. “You better understand how unbelievably lucky you are, you giant crybaby.”
Shikamaru could hear the emotion in his voice and feel it in his grip. He understood. It was the same feeling he had felt when Ino had announced she and Sai were getting married. Kankuro was entrusting his beloved sister to him, was letting someone else step into their lives and have a piece of her heart. He hugged him back as a promise to not take any of this for granted.
“I’m serious,” Kankuro insisted when he stepped back, his slightly dangerous yet playful grin returning. “If you ever do her wrong, I will personally ensure your final days come swiftly and painfully.”
“Duly noted,” he reassured him. Temari rolled her eyes.
Gaara stood slowly and walked to them. He studied Shikamaru for a minute before extending his hand.
“Please,” he said, “take care of her.”
“Of course.” He shook the Kazekage’s hand, feeling the same trust that Kankuro had expressed through his hug.
“Then you’re okay with this?” Temari breathed. Her youngest brother nodded.
“This is what you want, and I believe it will make you happy. You deserve nothing less. Besides,” he said, his own mischievous grin breaking through his composure, “I’ve always wanted an older brother.”
“Hey!” Kankuro cried indignantly while the others laughed.
Shikamaru caught his fiancée’s eye while her brothers bickered and teased each other. Temari was beaming with relief and joy. He had never seen a woman as beautiful as she was, surrounded by the people she loved most, looking forward to a future they could build together. He took the chance to sneak a quick kiss from her, happy he was privileged to share in her life.
“Ew, guys, save it for the honeymoon please!” Kankuro groaned dramatically. "My virgin eyes don't need to see this!"
Temari glared at him, but she was still smiling. "You'd better get used to it. We are getting married."
"Y'know, you moving to Konoha doesn't sound so bad after all."
