Semi-Realistic domestic starters
Because it can’t be all sunshine and poetry
“Sorry, honey. I’m just not in the mood.”
“You said you were going to the store. What did you do instead??”
“Do you want to go out tonight? I don’t feel like cooking.”
“Good morning.... You passed out last night and I dragged your drunk ass home.”
“How are you feeling? I can heat up some soup if you want.”
“How did we dirty this many dishes?! There’s only TWO of us!”
“If you don’t get off the couch and help me, i swear to god-”
“I love you.... But if you don’t pick up your laundry, we’re gonna have words.”
“Dude, it’s like 1 PM. Get out of bed.”
“Do you think we could do a date night? You know, like we used to?”
“What do you mean you’re going out with your friends? We had plans tonight!”
“Having a kid is a lot more work than I expected it to be.”
“You expected having a kid to be EASY?”
“Baby’s crying again... Don’t worry i got it. You can get the next one.”
“Move over. We’re sharing the shower. But in a ‘I’m late for work’ way not a sexy way.”
“Oh my god why are your feet SO COLD??”
“We’re married. We’re supposed to be partners. You can talk to me.”
“Why would you just decide something like this without me?”
“I also live in this house. You can’t just change things without telling me.”
“Sorry. I’m not sure I wanna have kids.”
“Can we get a dog/cat/(insert pet)?”
“What do you say to turning the spare room into a home theater?”
"We watched what you wanted to watch last night. Tonight I’m picking.”
“I definitely didn’t forget our anniversary. I just felt like getting you more things than usual when i just HAPPENED to run to the store tonight.”
“You ever think about getting married?”
“I’m happy the way we are. I don’t know how getting married could improve it.”
“I don’t need to marry you to prove I love you.”
“I’m ready to marry you.”
“You want to move in together? You basically live here already and it’d be cheaper for us both.”
“I’m pouring a glass of wine, running a bubble bath and I’m gonna soak till I’m pruny.”
“Sweetie, I love you, but I’m never going to understand sports.”
“Hey, let me get that for you. You go sit down.”
“I’ll clean up, you take a break.”
“We can’t go out tonight. The babysitter canceled.”
“I know you were looking forward to this but there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“Just dropped [child] off at the sitter’s. We have the entire night to ourselves to do whatever we want.~”
“I’ve decided I hate the color on these walls. Wanna go to the paint store?”
“I definitely didn’t cut myself but just out of curiosity- Where do we keep the GOOD band-aids?”
“Hey- No, it’s okay don’t get out of bed. I just wanted to let you know that I’m home. You can go back to sleep.”
