#shira rambles

[aizawas-problem-child]

Guess what?

I really hate Christmas.

It doesn’t even really have much to do with the holiday itself. No, I hate how people act and treat it like it’s secular. Guess what? It isn’t. I’m a young Jewish woman. I don’t celebrate any Christian holiday. This obviously includes Christmas. Yet, some people try to act like we should celebrate it anyway because “it’s not religious” but it is. It’s right there in the name. CHRISTmas as in Je*us Ch**st. As in the man Christians think is the son of gd and the mashiach. Jews do not think this. We don’t need your holiday “that’s really about family” we have our own holidays. I have no reason to celebrate his birth.

Imagine something for me. Stores as soon as Halloween passes (at least, here in Canada). Christmas stuff EVERYWHERE. And don’t get me started on that damned music. Which, if you like and celebrate Christmas, you probably think is cool. For me, it’s frustrating beyond words. Christians love to claim that minorities are “shoving our agenda down their throats”. Yet you don’t hear us covering stores in stuff for a holiday that’s over a month away. Nor do we play our music everywhere. I don’t find joy in the Christmas stuff at store. It feels like Christianity is being shoved down my throat. I’m being told that I must join in your joy. (Or that I’ll go to hell if I don’t) it’s not just a western cultural thing. It’s a Christian cultural thing. One that I have no interest in partaking in. I’m not sad that I don’t get to have a tree, I’m not sad that I don’t get to celebrate with family and friends. (Shouldn’t be doing that anyway, with COVID around) You might think I’m missing out, but I have my own amazing things to do with my religion and culture.

You know what the Christian normative society has created? Police guarding the doors of Synagogues during the High Holidays, my Jewish Community Centre increasing security, my youth group and summer camp are subtlely Jewish when you look at our merch. I feel safer and more comfortable displaying my queerness than I do my Judaism.

For once in your lives, don’t open your mouths. Listen to us, and don’t force your stuff upon us. Believe me, we’re not interested.

Goyim can reblog, just please don’t clown.

[majorshiraharu]

My friend sent me this and I feel called out 😭

I'm currently in the do nothing for 5 hours part of my day 🙃 but I am also panicking because I have stuff I need to work on but I just can't do it

[shirabeastly]

I bought Mass Effect Andromeda because it was like $8 and I gotta say that making any “Renegade-ish” choice when presented with the opportunity just makes Ryder come off as a psychopath. Their voices are so young and naive to the world that it just feels very out of place and unhinged.

[majorshiraharu]

Hello I’ve finally returned <.< got a lot of stuff I got to catch up on at home but hopefully I’ll be back to posting next week, besides the car breaking down and now being screwed over by the car dealership cause they don’t want to pay/cover the rental car, they also don’t have anyone to fix the car so for the next month or longer I have no car and have to stress about them not sending it here, something happening to the car over there and all the items we had to leave in the car. But at least the time at my grandparents was nice, I’ve missed them. My dog loves them and is very sad they didn’t come home with us xD doggo did amazing on our flights home, TSA, flight staff and almost everyone we came across went “awww”. He was a bit spooked by the first take off and crawled into my lap, so he could look out the window ;^; it was very cute, he loves looking out of windows. But after that he went on the floor and slept for the whole flight.

[majorshiraharu]

I just realized I haven't updated my ao3 in months because I forgot. I honestly hate the typing system (like that box where you write your fic) on ao3 so much I dread posting things on it because of that. Like why is the spacing always so messed up and it just feels like I'm writing on something that was made in 2008. I need to take a few hours to convert things over there xD

[majorshiraharu]

Personal - Health/Doctor stuff

Feel free to ignore this medical update ramble 👀 I didn't proof read cause I'm tired.

Had my appointment this morning with my GI specialist, didn't get the best news but also not the worst either so that's good. It seems like the infusions are still working, just not for everything since I still have inflammation in some areas and a lot of pain/symptoms. I have an infusion next week so he's going to see if things still don't improve on the higher dose he'll do a follow up mid December.

He's concerned about switching meds since I only have 2 option left and switching can end up making them less effective and if they don't work I have to go back to my current one and it will be a lot less effective 😞

So he's not really sure what to do and the other specialists he talked to weren't certain either. They're probably going to run some more invasive tests to see if they can find what's wrong and if they still can't figure it out they're recommending surgery so that's fun 😩 especially when I only got a month before my insurance resets and I gotta pay a butt load again for everything. (American health care sucks and I makes me constantly wonder what's the point)

I'm mildly annoyed that it's taken over a year and we're still all confused and unsure.

So next month I guess won't be any less stressful 😩 but if it means I'll maybe be in less constant/debilitating pain in the future I'll take it. I wish diseases like Crohn's got more research funding and treatment options, especially the severe kinds because honestly it just feels like we get ignored because we're not profitable or worth it since there's not that many of us. Like my type where it's active throughout the body is extremely rare and has very limited treatment options most of which are only to improve quality of life.

Just thought I'd let people know because this might affect how much time I have to write or post stuff. I'll do my best to keep up with things cause it's one of the few things I enjoy and interacting with people on here always makes me smile 💙 Just trying to get my health problems sorted out is exhausting and time consuming cause some days I have multiple doctor appointments and I still gotta take care of my dog also maybe myself xD

Life's kinda been like this the past five years and most of my family prefers to ignore my health problems and constantly fight with me about the fact that I'm always at the doctor's or not feeling well (like no shit sherlock chronic health problems ain't just gonna stop) . Not to mention a lot of them like to make it clear that I'm costing more money than they think I'm worth. Kinda makes me miss having an old phone I could slam down to hang up on them, now I just aggressively tap my phone screen 😂 Also at least I ain't buying a $700 phone each year and a bunch of ish I don't need like they do👁️👅👁️

[aizawas-problem-child]

Can someone please motivate me to keep studying? I’m a bit under halfway through the flash cards power point my classmate made (nearly 300 slides lmao)

[majorshiraharu]

personal - 

I hate how the weeks leading up to my infusions my pain just increases each day, it’s been doing this for like a week and I still got 2 weeks before my infusion so that’s not fun ;^; makes sleeping or getting any quality sleep very difficult, and every time I eat the pain just gets worse. also today I could hardly walk cause goddamn this pain is killing me, I hate crohn’s :/