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Having a bit of a blegh day.

So, it's hard.

On one hand? I can see the increased fitness in me. I can walk around, and spent the better part of the day essentially sitting on the ground of the open top of a boat and I felt absolutely fine. The increased mobility and flexibility is very satisfying. It was generally so easy to move around and get up and get down and do everything.

But then, I'm also having one of those days there I look at things like my thighs or calves and they look HUGE. I mean. They are. But today they really LOOK it. And I had a bit of "holy shit, it's going to take forever to get to my goal weight and what if I've put on weight uggghhhh".

I know it's not rational. And part of it also is I am very sleep deprived (my friend snores and I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night).

It's just one of those Off Days. They suck. But they'll also pass.

While I'm not doing specific workouts, I am still doing small exercises like butt kickers and calf raises and leg swings and torso twists during the day, just to feel like I'm moving a bit.

So the net is positive.

It just sucks to feel and think this way.

#health #gym #exercise #fitness #motivation #workout #inspiration #fitblr #health is wealth #weight loss #body dysmorphia #shit days #mind over matter

today was shit fullstop, but there were some highlights

1. ramen, thank you to Food Bank (@calypsomm) who feed the Orphans (three of us collectively rationing ramen SOUP). imagine 3 year twelve students huddled around this one cup of instant ramen and just rationing out THE SOUP (and some noodles but i mainly ate that LMAOO)

2. him :D just being around him makes me happier and his puppies are literally adorable although the youngest one is very jumpy and i've never had a pet so i dont know how to interact with them except give them too much attention and panic when they jump on me

on the topic of him, i gave him a christmas present (needed) at christmas because his phone was always dying - take a guess what it is - but he tells me he loved it and i didnt really expect anything back because my past relationships were SHIT and i was always putting more effort in the relationship than the other party, but we were cuddling and talking abt valentines day (thats in literally 7 days so exciting! i have a surprise planned but it means early ass start to the day AGAIN) but then the conversation moved to the christmas and he was like "i guess since its been ages since christmas i'll tell you what your gift was" and i looked so confused and then remembered he was getting me a birthday and christmas (combined) and omg i love this idiot SO SO MUCH

HES BOUGHT A HOWL AND SOPHIE RING FROM HOWLS MOVING CASTLE FOR BOTH OF US (hopefully it fits cause i have zero idea cause my fingers are SAUSAGES - if it doesnt work i’ll put it on a necklace or something but 🥹)

i bugged him about promise rings for our one year last year (holy shit the two year is coming up) and he brushed it off because he wasnt sure if he would be able to wear it without being made fun of (because jewellery isnt really his thing and etc etc). i didnt press it because i couldnt find any promise rings that weren't flashy but also ones that werent tacky because all of them were just horrible if it was plain. so i left it and was just gonna wait until he proprosed (🙄) but thats literally so cute i love this man so much 🥹

if he ever breaks up with me i may literally just be so distraught that i will crumple inside and proceed to crumple on the outside too

oh wait back to valentines day

anyways im gonna get him such a cute surprise he loves white tulips so guess what :D

he says hes got a surprise too so im curious but i'll leave the ✨Valentines Day Special✨ for the 14th haha

- kirby_void 7th Feb 2023

after writing this log, i feel significantly better and more awake, onto homework

#yr 12 content: a series #shit days #howls moving castle #shoutout to jin ramen omg #instant ramen gonna save my ass from year 12-end of uni istg #day 4 #valentines day prep #the boyfriend escaped the tsunami #someone tell me how to be friends w/ puppers #but also not have them JUMP on me all the time #jin ramen sponsor me please

Has the shittest day ever

I made my friend cry… 😭

#serena yaps #shit days

is it only me feeling this month have been the longest and quite the most stressful?

mf ain't ending

#shit days #march #dont like this month

Had a couple of really shitty days 😑 Moving is exhausting. Especially with having to transport everything via tram and carrying it 2 sets of stairs down and 4 up without an elevator. I finally found someone to subrent my old room to. It's good that I don't have to pay double rent, but it also means that I need to get all my stuff out until Sunday morning. Which I probably won't manage at this rate. I can thankfully still store things in the living room and pick them up later. But I still feel very overwhelmed and exhausted with this move and just want it to be done and over and not prolong it. My boyfriend is helping me whenever he can, but he's also restricted due to work, so I do most of the move myself.

My next T shot is overdue since last week aleady and I greatly feel the mental and physical impact of my sinking T levels. How much you feel it or if you feel it at all varies a lot from person to person. I tend to feel that pretty heavily as my Prolactine levels run off the charts again everytime T sinks. Which sucks but I won't be getting the shot until next Friday because my doc was on holiday and I need to get the blood levels checked first.

I will be so glad when all my stuff is finally over at my new place some point 😧

Today we're moving Mia. I'm curious but also a bit anxious about how well she will take the move. She knew that sth was up and wasn't happy with that at all. I'm sure that she'll love the new place with time, but she sure hates change. I so get that though. Me too, Mia. Me too 😕