#shitpost hcs

[coolspacequips]

PSA from ur local sharpshooter, as always the best way to get me to warm up is to draw a lance shitpost lmao

[opis-den]

I definitely feel like either Diavolo or his dad or any of the previous rulers has pissed off the fae.

Now, I don't know why I think this but I do.

I'd love some input on this though

[smugshiranui]

Hakuouki Boys at the Strip Club (Open Pole Night)

Yes this is a very specific HCs list, leave me alone.

Thanks to @marikamiya and @hakuoukiss for input, mainly with the songs! Hijikata;

Give the man enough drink and talk about the old days when they used to get real crazy together and he’ll take a shot at it. Even take his hair down too. At some point it becomes obvious he’s done something like this.

In fact, the bar seems to have a picture wall full of people who took the stage, in which an old image that must have been from years ago that looks just like him is stapled against it...

Song: Love is a Bitch -Two Feet

Okita;

Are you scared? Aroused? Scaroused? Who knows. Souji uses the pole like it’s his weapon and someone in the audience will be his next kill, he uses it with catlike grace and barely needs to get any layers off to already cause some excitement in the room.

Song: Doja Cat - Rules

Harada;

Is probably the reason why anyone in their social group first ended up there. Nobody’s better with a pole than Sanosuke Harada. He’s had job offers at the place, but really just wants to have a fun, non-committal time.

Song: Earned It - The Weekend

Saito;

He got on the pole because someone offered to buy him a rare historical sword if he did it once. He’ll be pretty cool and collected about it, generally stone faced and as a result not attracting too much attention on himself. Unless the object of his affection is there, in which case he suddenly gets a lot more red in the cheeks.

Song: Gangsta - Kehlani

Heisuke;

Puts on a super fun show, while some people might find him sexy and others might not, everyone definitely finds him entertaining to watch, especially since he himself will encourage the crowd to get into it.

Song: Movements - Pham feat. Yung Fusion

Kazama;

Wouldn’t even be seen in a stripclub’s open pole night.

Then again, if Hijikata is there. Well he just has to compete doesn’t he?

Song: Feeling Myself - Nicki Minaj

Nagakura;

Takes all but zero convincing to do it. Because he’s so athletically built he’s really good at pulling some solid moves on the pole itself, and if the person he likes is there to watch him enough cheering might encourage him to give a little bit of lap service.

Song: Pony - Ginuwine

Sannan;

Would probably do it in secrecy, like wearing a mask and ponytail to hopefully keep his identity from being obvious. Generally really good at it, has definitely done it a few times before and puts on a pretty sexy show.

Song: Redbone - Childish Gambino

Yamazaki;

He’s not as tough of a nut to crack as one might think, just need to loosen up a little and get some gentle encouragement. Might also have done it when he was a lot younger. Because of his physique he’s pretty good at hugging that pole between his lean thighs and really showing off his body while clinging to the pole.

Song: Fly Away - TeddyLoid

Iba;

He’ll do open pole night only if someone he’s interested in is there already, in which case he puts on a very sensual show and it takes a lot out of him not to specifically keep eye contact with the object of his affection the entire time.

Song: Freak’n’you - Jodeci 

Souma;

Probably wants to after Hijikata gets roped into it, or really just enough of the guys doing it will be enough for Kazue to try it, though he’ll probably be pretty flushed and tipsy by the time he gets up there. Boy has no idea what he’s doing and it’s definitely his first time.

Song: I Want You - TeddyLoid

Ryouma; 

His athletics with the pole aren’t up to par with some of the others, but he makes up entirely for it by using sex appeal to his advantage, and in fact hardly uses the poll, it’s a big striptease type thing with him. Maybe if you’re lucky open pole night will happen on your birthday so that you can get the Sakamoto Special.

Song: Valentino - 24kGoldn

[coolspacequips]

all the black paladins are dummy thick 😤 its just law

now thats a law i can get behind tbh

pt 2 ft another black paladins Fine Booty (TM) lmaO

[smugshiranui]

Theboys as vines/vine references

Okay alright alright I got this. 

I’m so so sorry this is awful I tried my best to assign vines to these boys but it’s very cursed.

Some of them? Like might be vine length but not officially vines? Idk it’s been a long time it’s hard to remember.

Hijikata;

LIPSTICK in my Valentino white bag?

Okita;

“Let me see what you have!” “A KNIFE!”

Saito;

Adam

Heisuke;

Back at it again at Krispy Kreme

Harada;

Welcome to Bible study we’re all children of Jesus here

Shinpachi;

Literally just Casey Frey in general. Alternatively “Free taco”

Sannan;

“Babe we did it you’re gonna be a father” “Honey I’m reading The Prisoner of Azkaban what do you want”

Yamazaki;

Road work ahead? Uh yeah I sure hope it does.

Hachiro;

I won’t hesitate bitch

Ryouma;

That’s what good pussy sounds like

Kazue;

Two bros chillin’ in a hot tub

Oni Trio; 

Around the World dance

Nomura;

GET YOUR DOG

Miki;

I mean four female ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over

[smugshiranui]

Hakuouki Boys as Linkin Park Songs

No, really. (I do not take constructive criticism thanks)

Hijikata; 

Numb

Okita; 

Papercut

Saito; 

Somewhere I Belong

Harada; 

New Divide

Heisuke; 

Breaking The Habit

Kazama; 

A Place for My Head

Sannan; 

Crawling

Yamazaki; 

With You

Nagakura; 

Pushing Me Away

Iba; 

My December

Souma; 

In The End

Ryouma; 

Numb/Encore

[smugshiranui]

Un-categorized Cursed HCs

Eats Mayo straight from the jar:

Nomura, Heisuke

Keeps their socks on during sex:

Hijikata, Kazama, Serizawa

Falls Asleep in Jeans:

Harada, Shiranui, Ryouma

Spends Hours on Buzzfeed Quizzes:

Yamazaki, Kondou, Itou, Takeda

Showers with their socks on:

Nakaoka, Saito

Mixes 5 hours of energy with 6 hours of sleep:

Sannan, Hachiro, Motoyama

Puts water in their cereal:

Okita, Kazue, Miki

Drinks raw egg for the protein:

Amagiri, Shinpachi

[smugshiranui]

Social Media Headcanons

Since I love making things nobody neither suggested nor asked for, here’s HCs for my Modern!AU I’m still very hung up on and how the boys use social media.

I wasn’t sure whether or not to add side characters because I like to gauge interest, so just shoot an ask/dm or anything if there’s some side characters you’d like to see.

Hijikata:

Doesn’t really use social media, at most has an old Facebook that hasn’t been used in years and probably also uses LinkedIn for professional reasons.

Okita;

Runs a shitpost twitter comparable to dril tweets where nobody really knows who is actually behind the account and nobody tries to know either.

Saito;

He doesn’t personally run any sort of social media but he does use twitch a lot and subscribe to creators he likes, is a moderator for a few mid range channels.

Harada;

Doesn’t actively participate in social media; though he does have accounts for most things. A good chunk of people from school like to use him for modeling reasons so his presence isn’t absent from social media - it just usually isn’t on his own accounts. He probably uses snapchat the most but keeps a small circle of people as friends on it.

Heisuke;

Likes to use snapchat to send friends pictures of dogs a lot, as well as post those pictures on twitter, which he also occasionally uses to interact with friends. He follows Okita’s shitposting account without knowing it’s Souji.

Kazama;

Doesn’t do social media and is pretty elusive in the online sphere, however he’s appeared in some of Kyo’s Instagram pictures in which a shirtless beach pic of the two caused a sudden influx of followers on Shiranui’s account; mostly people who are hoping more pictures featuring Chikage end up being posted.

Nagakura;

Follows a ton of people (girls) on Instagram and also posts things like gym selfies/beach selfies/selfies when he’s doing any sort of sport or physical activity. Has a good chunk of followers, a lot of them from school even if he doesn’t actually know them. Gets a good ratio of likes on his shirtless pictures for his range of follower count. Also does use snapchat, has massive streaks with Heisuke and Sanosuke.

Sannan;

Does those 4k 60fps type youtube videos where he does little nifty science experiments, has more followers than anyone of the other guys and as a result a successful patreon, but he doesn’t really show more than just his hands so a lot of people don’t put too much work into knowing who he himself is.

Yamazaki;

Mostly uses social media for local community things as opposed to for the sake of being seen online, runs a couple local groups and often helps set up community events for campus.

Ryouma;

Making connections through social media is thing, he’s really good at networking while also maintaining a clean trail of his online presence. Loves to use snapchat a lot though for light (and maybe heavy for the right person) flirting. Keeps a lot of snap streaks going.

Kazue;

Twitch streamer, with a primary FPS he’s known for but likes to do variety quite a lot. He’s liked for being a mostly comfortable environment so he has a good sub count, but he’s also known for the expressions he makes while gaming a lot, between frequent shock or embarrassment. Sometimes duos with Nomura.

Hachiro;

Has an aesthetic sort of Instagram where he posts pictures of desserts and drinks from coffee shops. A lot of people assume he’s a girl because of it for some reason.