#shoosh pap

[artblohggg]

fuckinnnnnnn shitty panel redrawwwwwwwwww

sorry this kinda sucks

[manpleblog]

[ninjaturtlecosmo]

I was thinking if Karkat can teach Tavros how to calm down Gamzee, if he notices that they are going to be matesprite.

Karkat:*sighs, having his arms crossed, giving Tavros a serious look* Look, Tavros....... I know you and Gamzee have been getting closer. I know you and him have been talking, and..... well....... Look, you know besides me, Gamzee trusts you out of everyone on this meteor.

Tavros: Uh...... Wait, really? He does?

Karkat: Yes? You and I are literally the main ones he'll talk to at all, he's just quiet with everyone else most of the time. But anyway......Look, I've been Gamzee's moirail for a long time, so there are some things you need to know when it concerns him..... Particularly how to calm him the fuck down if he has another rage episode.

Tavros:.......... You mean that.... what is it, the shoosh pap thing you did for him when we first ran out of sopor slime?

Karkat: Exactly. Thankfully Gamzee is somewhere doing God knows what right now, calm as fuck, so there's no need to practice on the real deal....... Instead, we're gonna use this.

*Karkat pulls out a plush goat with black furr and a pentagram on its forehead*

Tavros:........... What is that?

Karkat: A goat. Rose let me borrow it exactly for this.

Tavros:.......*stares at the pentagram on the goat's forehead*......... That looks like something out of Rosali's witchcraft books.......

Karkat: Yeah, I don't know, its some human religion symbol. Back to the main point; Pretend this goat is Gamzee. Pretend that that dumbass Dave decided to introduce him to more shitty clown rap, which was exactly what got us into the first mess with him to begin with.... and because of said shitty clown rap, Gamzee is now on another rampage and ready to kill anyone in sight, and the only one who can calm him down is you. Now..... you've seen me shoosh pap Gamzee before. How are you going to help ensure that Dave doesn't end up being the cause of all our demise like he almost did before?

Tavros:..........*even though its just a plush goat, he knows Karkat wants him to treat this like the real deal, so he takes in a deep breath and slowly exhales* (thinks: You got this, Tavros..... You can do this. It's just an adorable plush goat, but pretend just for a moment that it's Gamzee....... pretend that it's Gamzee, and he's lost his mind and wants to hurt all of us......) Okay......

*Pretending that the adorable goat is actually a bloodthirsty and rampaging Gamzee, Tavros puts his finger to his mouth and shushes the plush, before gently and carefully beginning to pap the goat on its cheek. He then visualizes the goat as Gamzee making a prolonged "honk" sound before shushing the goat, placing a finger over the plush's mouth, and then papping its cheek some more. He takes it another step by petting the goat's soft furr and then touching its forehead*

Karkat:..... Good, good..... except now Gamzee's honking loudly again and he has another murderous rage in his eyes!

Tavros: ! *doing his best to remain calm, he quickly but gently pops the goat on its cheek and chest*

Karkat: You're nearly there..... and...... and you managed to calm him down.

Tavros:........*sighs in relief, smiling* Wow...... Heh..... Honestly Karkat, I can't imagine the pressure you must have been under, trying to help Gamzee always stay calm like this..... but..... if something like what happened before ever happens again, I think i can do this.......

Karkat:..........*nods a little* Honestly? I hope it never has to come to that, but who knows..... if Gamzee does lose his shit again, you might be exactly what he needs to get himself together.

Tavros: Thanks, Karkat.... You.... really think I can do it?

Karkat: Just remember what we went over today, and I think you'll get through to him just fine. Hey..... you have come a long way from just being the meek and shy Troll we all knew before, just try to lessen all the self doubt, okay? Gamzee clearly sees something in you, that should be enough proof you have some good qualities.

Tavros:........ Yeah.... Heh...... Maybe you're on to something there....... Thanks, Karkat, really.

Karkat: Don't mention it. *looks to the plush goat*....... Now I can take this thing back to Rose, it creeps me the fuck out for some reason.

[sinnabon-the-skeleton]

Is this anything, chat?

Ok, for reals this time- here is my dumb contribution to the 10th Anniversary of a game that means so freakin much to me and legit changed my entire life... so I will honor it with beautiful classic memery.

Ten years might have gone by, but in the bright year of 2025, we once again have Sans Undertale and Homestuck by our side.

[skittle-is-little]

from the 1st of feb. completely forgot to post this lmao oops

[curlychopz]

Lord English is ideologically chuck Norris, but metaphysically he's more Justin Bieber.

He's the platonic ideal of power and control, but far removed to a perverse degree from his original disposition (compare the relatively innocent caliborn to early career bieber, and ruthless lord English to the Bieber splinter that wrote "yummy")

If we compare the progression of both JB and Caliborn's character, we can see they follow a similar progression over time. A young gifted individual who is missing a leg and lost his sister to murder goes on a journey to improve in his craft, until evil outside influences corrupt him.

Can you see where I'm taking this yet, reader?

Can't you see, that Andrew Hussie has always been a metaphor for the Happy Wheels community?

In both the senseless violence (the tragic murder of Eridan Ampora) and the nonsensical use of vehicles (really, John? A *flying* car? How very believable...) hussie has always been a stand in for the eccentric and dangerous fandom.

Let's take this further. We all fondly remember when Jack Noir stabbed his eyes out while being controlled by Caliborn. May I postulate that Just Bieber destroyed Jack's Septic Eyes? Or how about when caliborn shot Gamzee? Was that a "pew, die pie!" I fear?

In case you don't get it.

Fearful you should be.

So QED, surely now we can move onto the influence over Justin Bieber at large. Hussie influenced Caliborn into the image she created xerself of chuck Norris, just as the HWC (happy wheels community) aspired to reach from Justin Bieber tier to the godly Chuck Norris tier.

The difference? Intent. And that's why it hurt.

As Justin Bieber himself struggled with the abuse of his "fans" he turned to mind and body altering substances that created a twisted facsimile of himself with the intent to be beloved and escape the abuse

But those abuse fans where what was keeping him sane. Now, like caliborn without his Hussie, he is insane and in a sad state, begging for engagement and to stream his music

Could Bieber have made Homosuck? Quite possibly.

But could chuck Norris have made it?

Now that, my dearest readers. My sweet, deer, precious readers.

That is the question.

[benatarrrr]

i think if someone shoosh papped me irl my problems would go away

[colorfuldonutrunaway]

Originally posted by hemo-canons.