Oh hi, I'm not completely dead :) I just reblog a lot here and post more of my art on Instagram lol (a more uncluttered art reel). But I've been in a slump lately and found this a refreshing break from that :>
Never give me the mirror tool again. I stare at one side too much
He didn’t recognize her. Hawkeye didn’t know whether she should even have a reaction to that – they’d never spoken, and only met two or three times under unfortunate circumstances. One was fairly recent, when her colonel was still recovering in the hospital, but Dr. Knox wasn’t one for eye contact. He probably didn’t even notice that she was there.
Still, a part of her wanted to thank him. Though Colonel Mustang had never said the man’s name specifically, she knew that he was the one who helped her recover after her back was burned. She was asleep for most of the recovery time, but she distinctly remembered his voice – remembered him yelling at Mustang, calling him an idiot, saying he should report him…
She was grateful that he didn’t. And didn’t send her to a hospital, either. She hated hospitals and, if possible, tried to avoid them. So far no doctor had questioned her about her tattoo [or the burns on top of it], but she didn’t want to risk it. Too many questions. Too many secrets.
Hawkeye looked up at the doctor across from her and saw the worry etched on his face; Lan Fan was clearly in excruciating pain and they didn’t have any anesthetic for her. Perhaps the pain from cutting off her arm was too strong for her to feel each individual stitch, but it was still hard to watch. She could tell that Dr. Knox wanted to scream at her for being reckless – he already chastised her for running around in the sewer, but he wanted to keep going. She wondered if he always yelled at his patients when they caused their own trauma.
He probably yelled at her, too, though she didn’t remember it. Hopefully the colonel explained that she asked him to burn her back – otherwise how would he excuse what he did? Dr. Knox probably looked at her, saw the bubbling skin on her back, and rubbed his temples before screaming that she was an idiot. She would’ve deserved it.
Lan Fan’s scream brought Riza back to reality – she needed to focus on the girl in front of her. She needed to make sure she survived and had enough strength to get away if something bad were to happen here. There was no time to dwell on the past.
--
He didn’t like to make eye contact with anyone – not with patients, not with family…nobody. So when Mustang dragged him along on this stupid trip to an old house in the suburbs, he didn’t pay any attention to the short, blonde kid or the giant suit of armor-wearing kid. They seemed loud and frustrating, he didn’t need to deal with it. Just go with Mustang, help this injured girl, and come home. A good day’s work.
He continued his process of not really looking at anybody until he was done working on the girl. Mustang’s lieutenant assisted him, which was a great help since his patient kept trying to thrash around. If only he had some anesthetic this wouldn’t be such a problem – but that’s what happens when a sixteen-year-old girl cuts off her own goddamn arm. What the hell was she thinking? “Had to protect the Prince,” sure, fine, whatever. Stupid kid.
It wasn’t until they were done and Mustang ordered his lieutenant to keep watch that Dr. Knox actually took a look at her. And it did take him a few seconds to realize exactly who she was...she looked different with long hair. Surprisingly, his first thought was that he was glad she and Mustang were still working together. After Ishval, a lot of soldiers had to quit the military due to the severity of their trauma. He thought she would’ve been one of them – but she was stubborn, he supposed. Maybe she felt responsible for Mustang…or something like that. Though he hadn’t commented on it, Dr. Knox was perfectly aware of what was on Hawkeye’s back and the significance of it. Even back then, when he was instructing Mustang on what he needed to do to make sure her wounds didn’t get infected, he didn’t ask about the tattoo.
The answer was probably all kinds of messed up. But after what he’d been through in Ishval, he didn’t really dwell on it. Everything that Amestrian soldiers did seemed to be all kinds of messed up.
Dr. Knox frowned as Mustang started rambling a bit, thinking back to Ishval again. Thinking back to all the innocent people he experimented on, thinking back to all the lives that were lost because of him. Seeing Hawkeye was an uncomfortable reminder of one of the few lives he helped.
As Mustang told him to come see the creature they’d captured, the doctor nodded and focused back to the task at hand. The girl was going to be fine, and Hawkeye seemed to be doing well, so he couldn’t wait to get out of here.
;; okay but. we all realize that even as “the good guys”, team voltron is killing galra, right?
this isn’t something i ever see being acknowledged? like. they’re in a war. they’re literally destroying fleets of galra ships that must have upwards of hundreds of galra aboard. they have to have killed thousands of galra that none of them had personal beef with, and that isn’t even taking into consideration the ones they’ve fought personally and we’ve more or less SEEN being killed ( stares at haxus and sendak ).
i’m just saying, you know? it’s not like the team don’t all have blood on their hands too, they aren’t innocent in that respect. just a little thing to keep in mind.
