As promised the County staffed the case of our three foster children this past week. There were several things that were clarified, but there's still no certain decision that has been made. They told me that most likely they will pursue TPR (termination of parental rights) with Dad sooner than later, as they already have the grounds to do so. They also believe he is going to be doing some time in prison (different from jail) due to pending criminal charges. They don't believe they have enough to pursue immediate TPR on Mom, so on paper they will work towards reunification. However, since this case has been so ongoing, no one really believes that she has the strength to get it together at this point, so they will set adoption as a secondary goal.
The are contacting a State worker to see if he can round up a family that is willing to adopt all three kids. Now, I have no idea how this will actually work if they do come up with a family as the kids can't be in placement four hours away, and still be doing visitation several times each week with Mom. The County also knows that we can't sit in limbo with all three kids for six months or more while they wait for an adoptive family to materialize.
While we wait to see what the State comes up with, the County agreed to pay for Ms. 4 to attend daycare along with Mr. 3. We started Ms. 4 in daycare on Thursday. What a difference! DS is back to his cheerful, compliant self. It was such a relief to have my boy back--he's been loving towards me and spontaneously said, "I love you Mom" several times to me in the past few days when we've had our one on one mornings back. Secretly, I confess that I'm a bit disheartened to learn this about his personality as I know it means our abilities to foster preschool age children in the future will be severely limited because it obviously is just not going to work for DS. I kind of wonder now if the sibling set of three would be able to function here together if DS were not here. However, obviously DS is here to stay and has to be our first priority. He is our child, and we have to make decisions that are in the best interest of the kids already in our home.
This weekend Ms. 4 and Mr. 3 are in respite at our neighbors home. They are also good friends of ours. If things go well there this weekend, then the County has agreed that the neighbors could take the two youngest as a foster placement until the State figures out if there is a place for all three kids to go. If the State comes back with nothing, we have already agreed we would adopt Ms. 6, and the neighbors would adopt Ms. 4 and Mr. 3. The County is only allowing the split placement if we can guarantee that the sibs would see each other at least three times each week. Our families run fairly differently, so this is not as easy as it may seem, but we can figure out a way to make that work, particularly in the summer months as I'll be home and so will the mom of the other family.
In the meantime, I found out today that maternal grandma hired an attorney and will be showing up to the court hearing next week. The County decided during the staffing that Grandma will not be an appropriate placement for the kids, and cannot take guardianship of them, but they don't plan to inform her of that until the court hearing. I convinced DH to go to the hearing as I went to the last one, and I have a friend flying in from out of state to visit me this week. God bless him, he is so much better at remaining a neutral state in situations that are uncomfortable than I am. Chalk it up to another reason why I love him.
It's a big week for us y'all: anatomy ultrasound Thursday (which I'm in a panic about), court hearing Wednesday, DD has a choir concert on Tuesday, and good friend flying in on Monday who is then leaving for a two year African adventure in June. Prayers appreciated.
