Is it weird that I think this Loki that is the one before kid!Loki happened looks a lot like TH but with darker eyes, a cowl that completely covers his hair, and no eyebrows? It made me look into whether or not they had casted him already, but I don't think so? Same face shape and nose. Just the eye color and eyebrows are off. Did they just luck out?
“Not particularly. Your young hip selves can go through all the reinventions and redemptions in the multiverse, but the God of Evil always turns up somewhere.”
“Flatterer.”
“That and Scarlet Witch came with a Quicksilver and there was extra green paint laying around. Nice improvement on the villain brows by the way. Though those horns look a bit out of place. Since when do you go for coronets?”
“Since I found this place sadly lacking in tasteful gold helmets. Luckily, I found a generous donor to gift me their own horns.”
Earlier, elsewhere
“Usually I get a grace period of twenty seconds of interaction before someone decides to assault my person. It leads me to think I must know you from some prior harmless prank. A casual stabbing maybe?”
“Yes, stabbing, light tricks, and the magic of marketable immortality seem to be all you have in your arsenal. You’ve never had the opportunity to use them on me. Even so, you do know me, you teal-toned cinematic knockoff.”
“I am Loki, condensed. I am the God of Lies, of Mischief, of Evil, and of a hundred other facets of power that your pathetic sagas never dared graze. I am the fantastic nightmare of a reality you dreamt of being once. Back when there was a chance for you to be more than a simpering diet version of a deity. You, who sacrificed a surplus of chaotic arcane strength to play the eternal anti-villain. Antihero. Antipurpose. Anticharacter. Antigod. You are a watered down ghost of a sliver of my being, Loki Odinson.
“As such, whatever there is of you, I have a right to collect. I would rather not sully myself with absorbing your limping moral codes and trifling illusions into me. For today, I only desire your coronet. You could just hand it over. Or you could do the stupid thing and make a chase of it. A game of keep-away to retain the only non-welded down horned tiara in this plastic realm.
“You could do that. You could fight. You could run. But I will win. I will catch you. And when I do? Well.
“Do you know what vivisection is? Victor von Doom and I taught a few gods the meaning once upon a time. So what will it b--
“Hel’s sake, I’ve been trying to hand it over since half a monologue ago, just take the damn thing.”
“And then he continued on his way to California, saying something about being too Disney-rich for my kind of nonsense. Good riddance. Now that it’s only we happy green-garbed few who actually live up to the status of godhood in the area, we can get to making some changes. I couldn’t help but notice we now have two thunder-headed brothers on our hands, which I find unacceptable. Loki is the only one in the family with the multiplication bit. I propose we start the day by flipping a coin to see which one dies and which lives to put up with us.”
“Loki, that’s terrible. Leaving a Thor’s life up to chance like that. If we have to pick, I say we keep Dark World Thor. He’s still dependent on his hammer and Ragnarok Thor has a lightning-powered Care Bear stare.”
“A fair point, Loki.”
“You’re both terrible. I say we keep both Thors. Well, I say we, I mean I. I’ll keep both Thors and you can both kill Jane Foster in her little thunder goddess cosplay. Also Sif. Just because.”
“I think we’re all overlooking a certain recently-acquired female addition to the place. With the reality-warping and resurrection powers and whatnot.”
“Yes, Loki, I’m aware we have the Phoenix and the Scarlet Witch to contend with. Along with a dozen other empowered cast members that aren’t appearing in-scene. With proper planning, they too can be--,”
“Not them, Loki. Her.”
“Her who?”
“Hi there.”
“A little magpie told me there was a mean green meeting taking place and I just had to see if I could get in on the membership. My friends here don’t quite match the dress code, sure, but I’m sure you can make some exceptions.”
“Don’t suppose you could give your ‘I am the Alpha Loki, fear me’ speech to that one, could you?”
“I have. King Loki did. Past Loki did. Jason Aaron did. They just do not go away.”
“Just like a proper Loki, then.”
“That hurts, Amora. I thought we were still frenemies after all this time. You even left me a gift.”
“What are you prattling abo--”
*poof*
“Ta-da! I found it waiting for me when I arrived. How did you know I always wanted a hula skirt?”
“It does look wonderful on you, sister.”
“Seconded.”
“Thirded.”
“You might start a trend.”
“...”
“Amora? You still with us?”
“Amora?”
“Someone phone ahead to Hela. Tell her to ready the dog bed she keeps for new Loki arrivals.”
