Here Comes...
A Review
(Part 2 of 2) [Part 1 here]
Same disclaimer as before for this review; the topic of this post contains content that may be disturbing for viewers/readers under the intended audience of this Rated M comic series with explicit content intended for those 17+ years old. Discretion is advised.
When we last left our "hero," he'd just murdered an influencer who got views by murdering kittens he'd adopt from animal shelters. He literally butchers the man, sells his meat for rent money, which he gives to the landlord before having sex with his seventeen-year-old daughter. Thankfully, this is the worst we'll see of this comic and move on to less gratuitous content with...
#6 - THE BLOWDOWN!
We begin our story by greeting a chick to the world... inside a meat processing plant. Part of me feels like the author intends to get back to what this comic is really about, which is the love and concern for all animals, and honestly the stuff they talk about with farm animals here is pretty disturbing. I enjoy eating meat, but it's pretty obvious that factory-made meat, as in animals raised in a cramped, sterile environment like a food processing plant, is pretty disgusting.
"Instead of your mother's warmth, the caress of her beak, and a nutritious meal, you'll eat nothing until after the arduous 72-hour truck ride to the farm, which you may not survive."
"Your life will be lived in a metal container... unable to move and will be continuously fed a chemical syrup that will keep you obese until you die."
"Instead of running around, and breathing in fresh air... you will only ever smell filth and feces."
"From birth until death, all you hear is your own kind screaming for help. Non-stop screaming. Your entire life is obesity, metal, and screaming. It last about 42 days. Then you'll be murdered."
"They turned your brother into a slurry a few minutes after he was born. He was perfectly healthy. They just can't profit off of him. Dirty muthafuckas."
"The countries with the top obesity and cancer rates are the biggest meat eaters."
"Chicken, cow, pig, human... your entire life is hijacked. They fatten you up so you can die and make way for another population who repeat the cycle... while their pockets get richer. All victims of the same culprit."
"The corporations."
"I won't let anything happen to you, baby chick. That's a promise."
I... love this. This is the Calico that I would love to see more of! He's not just an angry, violent brutalist; he cares about these animals. Granted, we should know that already because of the scenes we've already seen where he takes care of the wounded and stray pets he's taken to the vet, but this is a nice refresher after that... awful, awful previous issue.
Anyways, Calico is scoping out the Bigmman Foods Farm, which were referenced as one of the big bads from the first issue. He's tracked Bumble to this location, noting that there's been communication between Bigmman and ODB. As he monologues, he spots a car pulling up under him. A woman exits with her bulldog, where she ties him to a tree. "Fuck people." Yes, this woman is abandoning her dog and screams at him to shut up and stay put while she's leaving him tied up in the dark and alone in the woods. Calico comes down, walking off-screen with the woman, then walking back on-screen with her dog, saying he'll give the woman the same odds she gave "his new little friend". Cruel, yes, but not as brutal as the last few issues. Again, refreshing.
Hector takes the dog to the same vet as before, where she notes the dog is in good shape, with "no signs of injuries, healthy weight and coat". She comments that that she's confused why the owner wouldn't be able to take care of the dog, to which Hector replies "She didn't have much to say." The vet smiles, obviously more in the know that she lets on, noting that "people can be so careless sometimes". Hector replies, "Sometimes?" clearly still angry humanity for allowing this to be the norm. Tammy offers some advice, "I'll grant you that many people are careless and selfish, but not everyone is like that, Hector. Some of us are good, you know." Hector leaves without argument on his end.
...Why are we getting this AFTER the garbage that was last issue? This is great! Hector is being challenged by ideology of "humanity is garbage cancer scum" and... I think I'm starting to get why. Looking back to his conversation with Scout, she notes that Hector is like a cat; he's incredibly dedicated to his belief that animal abusers should be brutally murdered in the most gruesome ways possible, but his tunnel vision blinds him to the rest of humanity that's actively working to help animals, like The Fourth Order, our vet Tammy, and DOGMOMMA. It's just, again, a shame we're getting this insight AFTER issue 5.
Cut to Chino's Gym where Hector gets into the ring to spar with Scanlon, the resident chuckling alpha mentioned earlier in the series. The fight's brutal, with Hector noting his strength, speed, and endurance. After strategizing, he's about to deal a right hook to Scanlon's jaw... until he sees a poster promoting an upcoming fight for Scanlon. He suddenly notices other people watching, notably men in suits who especially interested in this sparring match. Hector notes that if he beats this prospective boxer, everyone will have eyes on him, which he can't have as Calico, so he takes a dive and lets him win. Once again, this is great! Hector's starting to become aware of his surroundings! What wonderful development after that last iss
The next couple pages set up for the next couple issues with Kingman explaining his plan to Primo and his friend, and the detective from the previous issue who wanted to give June a medal is on the trail of Calico, noting that there's gotta be a connection between the recent homicides. Then we have our villains again, this time ODB and Biggman, the former eating a bucket of fried chicken and the latter snorting coke. They discuss business while enjoying their vices and we get a look into the evil that is Biggman Food.
Sarah Biggman is the owner and CEO of Biggman food, which she took property of by continuously fellating her grandfather. Since then, she's been operating the food company and her "shadow division" which... It's a whole other level of animal abuse here.
"Shadow covers animal pronography, which has countless categories.... Then there's the animal snuff business, with even more categories... The business as a whole is up by twelve percent. Total revenue for the fiscal year is six billion dollars."
The conversation ends with ODB commenting that Biggman is "one cold bitch" to which she replies, "HA! And don't you forget it!"
Cut to Hector breaking into Biggman Food, explaining his mission to find Bumble and rescue the animals. On his way day, he interrogates a man on the toilet (after he's done his business but hasn't flushed) about where his boss is. Once he has that, he ties the man up and tapes over his mouth. Making his way through, he's ambushed by two butchers who... are really dedicated to their job.
"Ima slice you up real good... like I do to these stinking pigs and cows. I love my job. Especially when I beat them to death first."
I feel like there's a point where the bad guys stop being realistically evil, perfectly paralleling the animal abuse cycle and industry, and just become these goofy cartoon characters.
"I mostly stick to pigs. It's been a while since I beat a cat to death. It's your lucky day cat boy!"
We get another explanation about how Calico's suit absorbs impacts greater than 40mph... before he's hit with a hammer swing that hits him at less and goes through. This entire fight feels like some weird Saturday morning hijinks, but with more blood and gore. That said, Calico makes his way through the butchers and comes face to face with Sarah Biggman herself... and her shotgun. He's working on a timer, since activists are planned to come storm the building to rescue the animals soon. Pulling out his trusty 45-caliber pistol, he shoots Sarah in the cheeks, making a joke about how it'll be "a lot easier to blow your grandfather now".
For the killing blow, he ties Biggman up, noting how lucky he is to have missed the carotid, and drags her down to the chicken pens. Pulling her out to the middle, he opens the cages and the chickens all come to tear her apart from her open wound. I've grown up helping raise chickens and this panel TERRIFIES me because everything that's happening in this panel COULD happen. I fucking hate chickens... and that's why I love eating them.
Anyways, Calico makes another dick-sucking joke before continuing on to find The Pound unconscious behind a glass window. He's attacked from behind by some guy in a suit, hurting his hand in the process and whimpering that he'll tell Calico everything he knows. He exposits the next issue by explaining there's a train he's supposed to be on tomorrow that'll be using Bumble's tech to travel undetected through the subway. Calico informs him that he won't be working tomorrow.
"Who do you work for?"
"ODB! Please... don't kill me! I have kids!"
"I don't care about your kids. Do you take care of any animals?"
"Yes! Yes! Trixie! My little cat!"
"Take good care of her... cuz if you don't, I'll take care of you. One more thing... You don't work for ODB anymore. Got it?"
"Yes! Yes, sir! Yes!"
Calico then knocks him out, noting that the man will know he knows where he lives because he's taking his driver's license. And what do you know, we get another winner in my book for Calico! He's very simple when you get down to it; take care of your pets, or he'll fucking kill you! Very relatable sentiments, I'm sure. The final page of the issue is...
...honestly, pretty fitting. This man, for all his... "faults" is a hero to the animal rights community. These people, likely all pet owners and animal lovers, look up to this man, literally, and cheer for him as he makes his escape. There's even a moment where Calico is bewildered by this. He just brutally murdering three animal abusers, leaving two others alive and traumatized by the experience, and these people call for him as their champion. Their... hero. It's... kinda sobering, seeing these people call to him, one woman even shouting "Our hero!" with another saying "Oh my god! He has little cat ears!"
As much as I don't like Calico, this issue is a sobering refresher. It still has the dark, gritty tone it began with, kept up with the gore and violence it promised, maintained a bit of the vulgar humor, granted to a lesser degree, and delivered us an entertaining look into this grown man in his forties wearing a cat suit. I said it once, I said it twice, and I'll say it here thrice; this issue was a VERY welcome refresher after the previous issue. Hopefully, the next issue will keep on track.
...Get it? Because it's gonna take place on a trai
#7 - NEXT STOP WHITLOCK
We open this issue to the aftermath of the previous one. Stash and ODB discuss the scrambling tech they got from Bumble that'll be used to cloak the train, before ODB mis-profiles Doctor A's ethnicity and noting he needs to call Biggman so he can "send him one of my hoes." Cut to the detective from before investigating the break-in at Biggman Foods, interrogating the potty-mouth before he's taken away for treatment. The first page ends with Kingman discussing payment and different times, crunching on a carrot while Gong crunches the burner phones his boss is done using. It's all coming together in this issue.
Calico, wearing a hoodie over his suit, sneaks onto the train and takes his seat as the guy exchanging cubes for cards. It's a weird monetary system I didn't pay attention to, I'll be honest, and I don't think it's all that relevant to the plot. Anyways, he spots Primo sitting across from him and staring at his phone, Calico berating him mentally for being stupid enough to get mixed in with all this. The next couple pages are all the deranged gangsters and criminals in New York coming onboard to make a lot of money. Honestly, this feels like a watered-down Batman's rogues gallery with these characters; El Capitan, Two-Ton Dunn, The Nurse Shark, all interesting characters with unfortunately no pay-off... except for El Capitan, who blows away a Rat, y'know, the short bikers from before, with a pegleg shotgun that ricochets into his eye.
The last guy of importance to come onboard is holding Bumble, a man called "Sticker". Calico gives chase, but not before getting a stiletto in his rib. They make it off the train and up to a stable, where Sticker hits Calico with a 40mph kick to the head, revealing that his foot's not broken because he's a Muay Thai fighter. They fight for a bit before he escapes on a bike. Calico looks a horse in the eyes and it's almost like they have an understanding. Nat 20 for Animal Handling, I guess. Oh, and I guess Primo is chasing after them both on his scooter.
Cut to Mean Gene and Primo's friend driving in White Plains, NY, the latter shaking like a leaf. Mean Gene offers some "mamajuana" which Primo's friend coughs up. MG asks, "What kinda Dominican are ya?!" They arrive at a guard who asks for their names. Mean Gene introduces himself as Dr. Cornhole Leo and his his assistant, Dr. Ricardo Montalban... who after a quick look-up, is a Mexican actor who died in 2009, most famous for his role as Mr. Roarke from Fantasy Island.
The last few pages is Calico trying to call Bumble to him, but struggles because it's a city street in New York, which means... C'mon, you know what that means. Thanks to quick thinking and perfect timing, he manages to get Bumble to restart by throwing his phone at Sticker. He then throws his knife at Sticker's bike, jamming the wheel and leaving him vulnerable to be pinned. It's then that the son of the Easy Chow owner, the one who woke up in concrete, runs out screaming "Father, I can't keep filming these videos! I can't!" before he's gunned down by his father, who remarks, "You have brought dishonor to our family. It is very... regrettable." Final cut to the train Calico just left being investigated by the police with Detective Donovan, June-medal-guy, pointing to a drop of blood on the floor, belonging to our resident vigilante.
This is it. It all comes to a head in the next, final issue! The only question I have is will this series have a satisfying end, or will it be another let-down like it's fifth issue? The only way to find out is to keep reading to the last page!
#8 - LOVE IS A BULLET!
Here we are; the final issue. And speaking of issues, one I've had on my mind for a while is Hector Gil's background. He grew up in the Dominican Republic, but aside from having a school bully and constantly saving animals, that's all we know until he meets Scout. There's a huge gap in his past before he turned 32. Well, we start this off with that question being answered.
Two thieves, Carlton and Gene, break into their third house of the night and find a jackpot in each of them. Once Carlton's bag is full, he retreats, leaving Gene alone in what seems to be a ransacked house, with blood everywhere. Under the bed, he finds a baby, umbilical cord still attached, being guarded by a kitten. Fleeing with the child, police arrive, forcing Gene to abandon the child at the doorstep of a Japanese dojo.
The child, named Gurinaibanditto, is forced to carry sandbags, and is warned that "people are baggage" and "the more you care about them, the more they will burden you". The man telling him this then swings a sword at his legs, which the boy evades easily. He then tells the boy that he's a master thief, both him and his cat, but if he ever steals from the man, the boy will no longer be sheltered.
Cut to the boy, now a young man of 15, breaks into a church to steal a key, where he meets a young woman named Dusty. When asked for his name, he says to call him "The Green Eyed Bandito" and introduces his cat, Bumble. The key he stole from the church allows gym to host midnight games for free, which the coach argues can't be good for the boy, since he should be in school or else people will get suspicious.
Cut to the young man, now an adult of 30, pursuing the affections of a woman, monologuing how he was in love with a woman by the second date. With this love came neglect for poor Bumble. When it's revealed he was sterile, the two stop dating, and Hector explains, "But here's the thing... about people... sooner or later... they ALWAYS let you down." The last image is the woman turning away from Hector, Hector being taken away by the police, and the shaky view of a weak and weary Bumble.
"All that time and energy I spent... trying to love people... I forgot to love... you."
We jump back into the present, with Calico squaring off with the Easy Chow owner. The man fires at him, but Calico is faster with Bumble, the latter of whom launches itself and clocks the man unconscious. Calico then greets the horse, noting the saddle says, "The Bullet", naming the horse Corey the Bullet. He promises Corey "a new home with miles of greenery" AFTER there's some business to handle.
As Calico ties up the man, he explains that this place is ODB's building, and that it's a fortress compared to Bigmman's security, which took months of planning in advance. He calls out for Primo to stop hiding, then instructs him to take Corey into the loading area in the back, leaving a mop head and a jar of petroleum jelly. Then he'll "consider it repayment for saving your ass". Primo says that Kingman didn't mention anything about this, but he's also not trying to die.
We cut to a man in San Diego, CA, USA sneaking in with a gun, then cut to another man in London, England speaking to him over the phone. The man in CA comments "she's gone" and the man in England orders "kill him". I don't know if this will make sense later.
Cut back to ODB, jumping from his debaucherous acts screaming "What the fuck is going on down there?!" Men burst into the room, including Sticker, reporting that "that cat guy" is downstairs and has the cubes. ODB orders the G.O.D. protocol to be activated, which is essentially a lockdown for the building, as we'll soon seen.
Cut down to the lobby where the Easy Chow owner's mother waits with men at her side. They form a Chinese Festival Dragon and overpower Calico. It isn't until Mean Gene arrives with a van through the window that kills the old woman and her bodyguards. Mean Gene exits, warning Calico that what he's doing, what he's been doing is dangerous. Calico disregards this and continues up the elevator, telling Gene to go home.
What ensues for the rest of the comic can only be described as an action film; there's guns, there's goons, there's special goons with special guns. At one point, Mean Gene, Primo, and Primo's friend are locked in a storage closet with potassium cholorate, sulfuric acid, and the chocolate bars Primo's friend brought with him. Mean Gene gets an idea while Calico deals with mini-boss after mini-boss, one of which he befriends. The trio escape, only to separate with Primo and his friend being chased by a horde of goons. Mean Gene arrives with the cavalry, Tim Albert, ready with his minigun for another psychotic breakdown.
Calico has a rematch with Sticker, beats him, then runs into The Pound. He beats him while Mean Gene distracts Albert with chocolate. It's here, on the 55th floor, that Calico faces off against a living legend called "Oriol", who beats Calico with a simple turn. He's about to die when someone shouts, "OREO!" That someone introduces himself as "Atropa" but you can call him "Bulb". He manages to beat Oriol single-handedly, then leaves with a warning, "Beware, Kitten. A very bad man wants you dead."
Snap over to ODB who is surprised by the arrival of Kingman, revealing that ODB is his father, who sold him to the hospital for one dollar. Stash reveals that he's been the inside man for Kingman for a long time. ODB makes an escape to the elevator where he's shot and killed... from below... by Mean Gene in the elevator. Kingman announces himself the new owner of ODBs empire, and we cut over to the Fourth Order, who are discussing the events of this issue.
Scout explains the "rogue apostle," Hector Gil, though she claims he's more of an "independent contractor... of sorts". One of the members shouts that they know how Hector Gil supports himself despite giving away all his money to charities, exclaiming "Once a criminal... Always a criminal!" An elder, known as Relic Ratio, argues that Hector was sent by heaven, as he's a child born of two houses of the Fourth Order; Panthera and Felis. Two members whisper that an attempt failed but it doesn't matter, since the elder will die soon enough. Before adjourning, Scout makes one final announcement to the houses of the Fourth Order, Canis, Felis, Panthera, Ursus, Simian, Aves, and Sapiens:
"With honor, dear leader, Hector Gil is the 300th apostle of the Fourth Order of St. Francis of Assisi. He is the ultimate defender of animals. He is the sterile cat that is white, black, and tan, symbolizing his mixed racial background. Hector Gil is..."
Cut to Detective Donovan, who is completely bewildered by the events of tonight. He gets a phone call from forensics who ID'd the blood of Hector Gil. The detective asks for the doctor to keep quiet until he gathers more information. He then inner monologues about his wife committing suicide with their son, with the only light in his life left being one Hector Gil, whom he was going to adopt if the Japanese family didn't beat him to it. If you think a lot of this was shoved in at the very end, trust me, you're not the only one.
Cut to Chino's Gym, where Hector pushes buttons behind a chair before getting into an elevator. Chino reveals that he's been able to talk to Calico the whole time, but only through the Panthera suit. Apparently, Chino is an apostle of the Fourth Order, too, for the house of Panthera! He warns Hector that his "contempt for humanity has made him careless to a power struggle that's been brewing for ages within the Fourth" and says that while he was doing all of this, DOGMOMMA was at risk. Thankfully, they were able to move her and Chloe to a safe, new location. He then tells him, "Suit up. We have work to do."
DOGMOMMA gets a message that everyone gets ten grand each from the whole cube/card thing thanks to Calico. We get a flashback to Scout offering the job as the Calico to Hector, who accepts before she finishes the word. Detective Donovan keeps working the crime scene until he gets a call about something found in the loading bay. I won't go into detail, but let's just say it involves a horse, a mop head, petroleum jelly, and a corpse.
The final page of this series is the different characters walking down the street. In the far back, across the street, Mean Gene, Primo, and Primo's friend, discuss Kingman being in charge, but not exactly being upfront about it... for now. Detective Donovan is tailing Hector quietly. Hector gets a call from his contact, informing him of a new file. "Already on it."
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And that was the story of Calico. As a whole, looking back over it after reading it again, it's not necessarily a bad story. However, it feels like everything before this final issue was just... venting. Almost like the author created this character as a way to destress and release his pent-up frustrations about animal cruelty. Of course, that's all just me assuming here.
We get some character insight, but only after we're more than halfway through the series. I see now that Calico is a nuanced character of anger, brutality, and animosity, but also dedication, kindness, and reason behind his every decision. His story is one of heartbreak, with the greatest heartbreak being that we don't learn about it until the very end of the series.
I said it before and I'll say it again; I'm not a Punisher fan. I don't like over-the-top violence. And as ironic as each gruesome death in this series was, I still stand with my beliefs. I still don't like it, but at least I understand the method to the madness. Honestly, if there were more Calico comics that focused on the superhero aspect, like The Pound, The Fourth Order, and the suit, I'd give them a read. But if it's all just going to be brutality after brutality with a vigilante who receives no consequence for his killing spree, then I'm just going to have to give this little kitten to a better home.
Also, the seventeen-year-old thing was just gross, man.
