#signal-95

[midnight-broadcast]

This broadcast now sponsored by StrexCorp's Reversible Umbrellas.

Why should umbrellas be exclusively used outside? Isn't that inefficient? Aren't you disappointed by normal umbrellas?

Wouldn't it be efficient if you could bring your umbrella inside? Wouldn't it be perfect?

Don't you need to block weather indoors, too?

StrexCorp now offers the most perfect solution to all your umbrella inefficiencies.

You already own one. StrexCorp has already delivered one. Right to your door.

Smile. You should really be appreciative.

StrexCorp Reversible Umbrellas. It's never too late to start smiling.

[midnight-broadcast]

don't look too far ahead you never know what you might find

you're welcome here in the static if you decide to stay and even if you don't

we'll be holding the static steady tonight

welcome to the broadcast, listeners

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

the fog grows closer and the cold is settling in i'll return when the frost begins to bite

stay safe in the cold, listeners.

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

This hour's sponsor is water.

You've forgotten again, haven't you? We're not mad. We're not even disappointed.

We're just ambivalent. After all, we're just a pre-written segment designed to push some normally-useless brand you might not even be interested.

Except tonight.

Tonight, we're peddling water.

And water is the exception. Try some. You will like it. Probably.

Water. When you need to hydrate, pick water. Some exceptions apply. Water is not responsible for ongoing heartburn, stomach concerns, over-evaluation of your taxes, bloodstone ritual failures, drowning, dry drowning, drowning while attempting to save someone else from drowning, overdose (yes, it's a thing, look it up), or lead poisoning.

[midnight-broadcast]

the weather is humming tonight

we like the tune it's very kind to our ears and our faces and perhaps all of us at once

we tried to harmonize but it stopped and appeared offended

perhaps we were off key perhaps we were not off key

perhaps we will never know

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

we meant to write something for this segment

but we never got around to it so please pretend like we did

we would truly appreciate if you pretended that this is a segment with words and things that may be important

react to it accordingly or maybe not at all

thank you for your assistance

♥ intern jamie

[midnight-broadcast]

listeners please ignore any ongoing interference with our broadcast

we are not sure how it got there or where it is from but it can be ignored (probably)

if you hear: metallic screeching absence of sound silence or a ringing that sounds eerily similar to the tune 'here comes the sun' by the beatles

please just ignore it thank you

♥ intern jamie