Summary: Boredom leads the crew to find ways to entertain themselves at the captain's expense... An amusement that could cost you your live.
Word count: 800
The Victoria Punk drifts peacefully on calm waters.
There is no wind to propel the ship, and no clouds to threaten its tranquility. There's no rush either, so the crew takes the opportunity to relax leisurely on the deck, some enjoying the time to rest while others seeking ways to entertain themselves.
The captain is among the first group, peacefully taking a nap. Using some sacks as makeshift pillows, he rests with his arms folded behind his head, his chest gently rising and falling with each relaxed breath.
A cautious distance from him, Killer, Heat, Wire, and you are sitting in a circle on the floor, playing cards silently to pass the time. After a few rounds where Killer has emerged as the victor and Heat as the runner-up, it’s now down to a tiebreaker between Wire and you to determine the loser of the losers.
“... the two of hearts and the three of clubs,” you say as you drop both cards into the pile, revealing a terrible hand.
“Ace of spades and ace of clubs,” Wire announces his hand immediately, grinning mischievously.
“Sorry Y/N, you suck at this game.”
Giving a slight kick to the pile of cards, you cross your arms over your chest. “This game is fucking bullshit.”
“Bullshit or not, you lost the bet,” Killer states, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out a small mysterious object.
You hold out your palm for him to hand it over. "Fine".
When he drops the tiny item into your hand, Wire, Heat, and you lean over to inspect it.
Seeing what it is, you let out a groan of frustration. The corners of Heat’s lips curl as much as his facial muscles physically allow, and Wire's shoulders start shaking uncontrollably, bringing both hands to his mouth to stifle his laughter.
“Seriously, guys?” you ask with a mix of fear and disbelief, glancing toward the imposing figure of the sleeping captain.
“Seriously,” you hear Killer’s voice through his mask.
You analyze the contentious object again, glowing innocently in your palm, and let out a exasperated sigh.
“... He’s going to kill me.”
Heat and Killer shrug nonchalantly.
“A bet is a bet,” Wire adds, still wearing his malicious grin. “Go on.”
Rolling your eyes back, you clench your fist tightly around the small item and stand up, delaying the inevitable no longer.
On tiptoe, with slow and calculated steps, you start approaching the captain, praying that the wood doesn't creak beneath your feet.
"Kil, how much more stuff like this do you have?" You hear your shipmates chatting in low voices behind you.
“Oh, you have no idea...”
You shake your head to concentrate and ignore their comments. Your senses are on high alert, attuned to any factor that might work against you and wake the captain, like a sudden gust of wind or a seagull squawking overhead.
Killer, Wire, and Heat's vigilant gaze are fixed upon you, silently tracking your cautious movements. As you draw closer to the captain you carefully hover over him, swallowing hard and extending your arms to keep your balance.
An ill-timed fly buzzes over Kid's face, making you freeze as his nose wrinkles at the annoying sound. With your heart in your throat, you realize that your life depends on how deeply he is sleeping.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
His eyes remain closed, but he raises his human hand to lazily swat at the pesky insect, then scratches his temple before putting his arm back under his head to continue sleeping.
You remain completely still, not daring to move a muscle, and look at your crewmates with a pleading gaze. They quickly urge you on, Heat mouthing Go with exaggerated movements, while Wire gives you a thumbs-up.
You furrow your brow and give them a slight nod, then shift your attention back to Kid.
Shaking your shoulders and rotating your neck to ease tension, you draw in a breath that you don't release, and close the distance between you and Kid's mechanical arm. Now or never, you tell yourself with resolve as you open your fist, revealing the small object in your palm alongside a mark with its shape engraved in your flesh.
Gripping the magnetized item firmly between your fingers, the tip of your tongue poking out, you bring it closer to the metal surface with meticulous precision. It makes contact, adhering with a faint click, and with a gesture of victory you step back to admire your feat:
Adorning the imposing mechanical limb of the dreaded Captain Eustass Kid, gleams a small and absurdly cute Hello Kitty magnet.
******
It isn't until late at night, after having spent the entire day exchanging knowing glances, nudges, and silent laughter with the rest of the crew, that you hear him.
"W-what?... What the HELL is this!? ... AGAIN!? I swear, I’m gonna FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!!"
@fanaticsnail this is your fault! My stupid obsession for them is your fauuuuult! 🤣
I wasn’t planning to post this yet, but it’s Lukadrien June and today prompt is ‘escape’ and, even if it’s only Lukadrien friendship (bc it’s Lukanette & Adrigami endgame), it fit so well that I couldn’t stop myself from posting this. Chapter 1 and the final chapter have been finished for months, but I don’t know when I’m going to continue with the rest...
This fic is based / inspired by Marilyn Monroe’s ‘Some like it hot’ film.
Thank you @alittleshycat for the header and wanted posters pic! ( I hope you’re doing well... I miss you... 🥺💙 )
Thank you @brickercupmasterx3 for proofreading! 💙
Summary:
Luka helps Adrien escape from his prison-like house and his strict father but Gabriel Agreste is not planning to let them go away easily. They become fugitives and ask Juleka for help, who offers them a very unconventional escape plan: joining a girl band/orchestra to flee the country.
Easier said than done, especially when they find something unexpected in that band: the two most beautiful women they've ever seen.
Warning: includes art
AO3
_________________________
Chapter 1: Fugitives
"My father is going to kill me."
"Your father is going to kill us."
One carrying a guitar on his back, and the other a piano keyboard case on his hand, two musicians were being chased by multiple cars around Paris. Turning corners, going up and downstairs, hiding behind trash containers and cars, the chase seemed far from an end anytime soon. Panting for air, the pair continued running after they turned the corner, just in time not to be seen- a close call. The loud sirens never seemed to stop, coming from all directions.
"I can't believe I finally escaped from home!", the young blond man exclaimed excitedly. "Thanks, Luka. I wouldn't have made it without your help. You're a real friend."
"Don't mention it, Adrien. That's what friends are for, right?", the blue haired man laughed and patted his back. "It would have been perfect if we hadn't broken half of your father's statue collection while escaping your bodyguards, though. Now he's gonna kill us for sure. We can't let them catch us!"
"We need to run away from Paris. And fast! My father is the devil itself! You don't want to know..."
"I don't!"
Jumping down a wall, and turning another corner, the two friends hid in the back of a funeral car and waited until the police sirens got further away. They had been scolded for being disrespectful with the dead, but it was worth it: they were safe- at least for now.
"We need to leave the city and find a place to stay. Knowing your father, he must have all stations, roads and airports under his control." Luka said, stopping Adrien from crossing the street to firstly check their surroundings.
"How are we going to do it? Our car became 'inoperative' during the chase and our friends and family must be monitored!"
Adrien's panic made Luka grab his shoulders to reassure him of their plans.
"No, look. They know you, but they don't know much about me. Not many people know I have a sister who lives here, in Paris."
"You do?"
"Yes. We need to make it to her apartment and then we’ll figure out how to proceed. Are you ready to run again?"
"More than ready. I'm excited!" Adrien grinned back at Luka, feeling an adrenaline rush.
"Let's go!"
__________________
When Juleka opened the door of her apartment, she wasn't expecting to meet her dumbass older brother and Adrien Agreste, the young man who had been on the news non-stop for the last two hours. She raised one eyebrow and Luka knew she was looking for a reason not to shut the door on their faces.
"Juleka! We need your help! We have to get out of the city. Could you lend us your car?"
"What the heck is wrong with you!? It's been two years and that's all you have to say? What kind of trouble are you involved in now? This flower boy has been in the news for hours! They are even offering a reward for whoever finds him! And one for you! A dead or alive one in your case! They're saying you kidnapped him! So you better have a good explanation or I'm kicking you out."
"I do, I do! Listen: remember dad? I know you were little, but do you remember what being trapped is? That's this man's, Adrien's, everyday life for you. I couldn't bear to see my friend like that anymore so I offered to help him escape" Juleka's eyebrow sank deeper towards her nose, meaning Luka knew that wasn't good news. "I had to help him get his freedom! Can you believe he has never had a burger? Or been to a drive through? He can't even drive a car! He literally crashed my car at a streetlight after mistaking the gas and brake pedals! Have some compassion and help us escape Paris. Please?" he finished, pleadingly.
Juleka's eyes moved to analyze Adrien before answering: blond rich guy, well dressed and innocent looking. The way he was trying to figure out her front door and how his green eyes curiously examined his surroundings made him look like a playful cat, and Juleka had no doubt that he was as dumb, or probably dumber, than her older brother. Which meant Jukeka wanted them out, but also that she couldn't refuse to help- otherwise they would surely not make it out alive.
"Fine. What do you need?" She resigned.
"A car or anything that takes us away from Paris! No, better! Out of the country!"
Adrien was still examining Juleka's old and untidy room when she noticed his eyes paused on a paper on the table. She knew that paper: a girl band/orchestra called "Miraculous" was looking to recruit experienced musicians to perform around Italy for three weeks. Suddenly, she knew what to do.
"Join that girl band, the one in the pamphlet", Juleka suggested, pointing at said paper.
"What? A girl band? We're men, Jules! We can't join a girl band!"
"Luka is right!" Adrien quickly agreed.
"No, it can be done. I'm good with makeup and I'm tall enough for my clothes to fit Adrien. We can use some of Mom's clothes for you. ‘Old style’. Oh, and I have some wigs too.” Juleka continued. "Can this blondie play any instrument?"
"Well, yes. He's a pianist," Luka answered.
"Perfect! I'll find a way for you to cover for the pianist and the guitarist of the band: Chloe and Lila. Nobody likes them anyway, and the band members probably don't even remember their faces well, since they joined recently. Nobody will miss them. And it's perfect that you're blond, just like Chloe. I have the perfect wig for you"
Juleka disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a pair of scissors, two wigs and a box of makeup- oh, and wax. The two male friends could feel cold sweat down their backs.
"Wow, you have such a pretty face!" Juleka exclaimed, taking a closer look at Adrien's facial features. "I'll cut your bangs a bit so they don't show under your wig. Luka: do yourself a favor and go shave meanwhile."
"Are you serious about this, Jules?" Luka asked, moving towards the bathroom sink.
"Of course I am", she glared confidently at him. "Do you want to flee the country or not? I'm getting you out, but you need to trust me."
"Is this really necessary…?" Adrien asked in a trembling voice, seeing how Juleka's scissors were close to his eyes as she was cutting his long bangs.
"It definitely is! The band orchestra is leaving midday tomorrow and we have a lot to do!" Juleka ordered. "I can't wait to wax those hairy legs of yours" she murmured. Adrien could only gasp in fear.
When Juleka finished, she was proud of her results. The disguises were perfect: a long blond wig on Adrien, tied as a long braid, his big green eyes standing out with the mascara on his lashes, and he had pink colored cheeks and cherry lips. His face and hair were perfectly complemented by a white dress to his knees and a short jacket over his shoulders, covering his strong forearms. He also used some pads to simulate not very large breasts. The final touch was a pair of elegant high-heels with diamond looking glass studs on them. He looked beautiful, prettier than many women. So pretty the Couffaine siblings blushed a little at the sight.
As for Luka… well, he was tall, big and manly, and with sharp features: definitely not easy to pass him as a woman. But Juleka was almost a professional and she did an incredible job. He had his hair cut short so his blue hair didn't show under the long dark haired wig - good for covering his wide muscular back. He was advised to wear a hat and sunglasses most of the time, but he was also wearing lots of makeup. Using a full palette of skin tones, Juleka managed to hide his strong jawline and make his cheekbones, chin and nose look smaller and rounder. He wore black eyeshadow and mascara, brownish red lipstick and natural blush. He looked like an unfeminine lady but that could pass as genetics, right? People would maybe look away, but they would understand. As for his clothes: he wore a long wide purple dress tied with a belt and some brown pirate-like high boots (the only ones that would fit him because they belonged to himself). The bottom half of his outfit was complemented by a grey knit poncho. His fake breasts were bigger than Adrien's and he wore a wine red scarf to cover his neck- especially his pronounced adam's apple. He looked… pretty good, considering the base product. And that alone was an amazing accomplishment.
"You're perfect. Ready to go. I've packed a pair of party dresses too. You'll need them for your performances" Juleka said, admiring her amazing work. "Oh, and just so you know. I'm also part of the band, so I'm coming too."
Later that night, just before sunrise, Juleka sneaked to Chloe and Lila's apartment to steal their accreditations and sent them fake cards about the train being delayed so they wouldn't appear at the last moment and ruin everything. Juleka smirked victoriously for having at last taken her revenge on the two women she hated the most.
___________________________________________
After nervously passing the first frontier of the train station- the ticket man, Luka and Adrien, who were disguised as women, moved towards the platform, happy for not having been recognized after the first control. Adrien had trouble walking in heels, so Luka lent him his arm to help him keep his balance.
"Remember: your name is Chloe now, and my name is Lila", Luka reminded his friend as they walked towards the train platform.
"I don't like those names", Adrien complained.
"I don't like them either, but it’s better that we don't stand out". Luka sighed.
Grabbing their baggage and instruments, the two men approached the train car written on the ticket. They were stopped before they could get on the train- just next to one of their 'wanted' posters. The two men didn't notice it, but Juleka did and rushed them to get on the train fast.
"Hey, who are you?" Asked a middle aged woman, the one in charge of the band, they assumed. "I've never seen you before. Are you new?"
"I- I'm Adri- My name is Noirette”, Adrien said, receiving equally surprised and annoyed glares from both Luka and Juleka. Before Luka could speak, Adrien continued. “And she's Lucia. We're the new pianist and guitarist of the band".
‘What. the. heck?’ Luka couldn’t believe his friend as he stared at him in annoyance and shock. His high pitched voice acting was hurting Luka's ears too. 'We're dead', he thought.
The middle aged woman showed orchestra at Adrien’s words: she clearly didn’t like last minute changes. Scanning them under her glasses, she questioned them again. "What happened to Miss Chloe Bourgeois and Miss Lila Rossi?"
While the two men were taking too much to come up with an excuse, Juleka, who was sick of their bad acting, stepped into the conversation.
"The talent agency sent them somewhere else. These two are here to fill in for them."
Still unconvinced, she raised her glasses. "Hmmm... you know them, Juleka?"
"They come from the same talent agency as me", Luka’s sister confidently said.
"Hmmm... that should be enough then..." It seemed like she was convinced at last and the two men could finally breathe. “I'm the band's director. You can call me Madam Mendeleiev. And that man over there is Mister Damocles, the manager. You can introduce yourselves later. Go to your seats now.” Before they could take a first step, the middle aged woman stopped them again and called for someone. "Yves! Come here and carry these ladies’ instruments to the train! Be useful for once!"
Luka and Adrien exchanged looks when a young blond man approached them quickly. "Yes, Madam!" He shouted, approaching the disguised men to get their instruments. He stopped in front of them, intensely staring at Luka’s pupils before trying to complete his job.
"Oh. Hello, there. XY at your service! Can I help you, beautiful? Fancy a drink sometime?" He raised his eyebrows twice, shamelessly flirting.
Luka's face went white in disgust. Juleka's chuckle and Adrien's big eyes made him snap out of it.
"Oh, Just carry this, thank you!" Luka answered, annoyed, as he shoved his and Adrien’s instruments and suitcases into XY’s arms, making the blond man lose balance from the pile of weight on his arms. “And take good care of them because they’re… fragile”
"A- As you wish, beauti- Ah!…" He stumbled, losing his balance and almost falling down. “But later that drink-”
"Yves!! Stop the crap and do your job!" Mendeleiev scolded him.
"Yes, Madam!" He straightened his back. "See you around", he winked at Luka before leaving, having trouble walking properly. The guitarist could feel shivers all over his body, while Juleka snorted, having real trouble trying to hold her laugh in.
"C'mon, hurry up!" Juleka pressured them, adding in a whisper "you better not expose yourselves before leaving."
"Thank you for saving us, Juleka." Luka whispered to her ear while getting on the train.
"You better stop acting stupid if you don't want to get caught!" Her response showed her annoyance and the men gulped in response.
The seats were arranged in pairs, so the two fugitives could sit together and relax a bit. They were also grateful for the lack of contact needed with the rest of the band.
The ‘Miraculous band’ was a dancing orchestra. Similar to a big band, but with vocals, a spectacular stage and completely fine for all ages to enjoy. In this case, its main particularity was how it was formed only by women. The band formation included: a rhythmic section (electric bass, electric guitar, drums and electronic piano), a wind section (saxophones, trumpets and trombones) and two singers. Many of the members were usually multi-disciplined in those bands, which meant they could play more than one instrument, just like Luka with the Lyre. Some of the side instruments were the violin, the flute, the maracas or the tambourine. Another particularity of these kinds of bands was the big range of styles in their repertoire: from rock and popular national or international hits to swings, waltz, salsa- anything that could be danced to.
If it weren't for the all girls' rule, Adrien and Luka wouldn't have minded joining them for real. But they had something more important to think about now- running for their lives.
"Is everyone here?", Mendeleiev asked, standing at the train car passage.
"Marinette and Kagami are not here yet, Madam" A dark skinned, red haired lady pointed out.
"Those two again… if they weren't so talented and popular I would have fired them already!"
"There they come!' A small blond short-haired lady screamed, startling Juleka in the process. "Sorry! I didn't want to startle you. My name is Rose" she introduced herself.
"Juleka…" and that's all she could say as she lost herself in that petit woman's eyes.
"What do you play?", the little woman innocently asked. "I play the trombone!"
"The electric bass…" she answered, hiding her blush. ‘Cute, sweet and with lungs of steel?’ Juleka gulped. ‘I’m screwed’.
"Finally!" Madam Mendeleiev said, as the ladies arrived, panting from their run there. "You're late! Go to your seats quickly!"
The two ladies who got in the train, bowed their heads in apology for their tardiness, as they walked to the empty seats of the back of the car. And when their faces looked up for a moment, it was the exact moment Adrien and Luka reached heaven. Their eyes couldn't stop staring at the most beautiful ladies they had ever seen, following them with their eyes and faces as they passed just beside them, moving to sit a few rows to the back. They couldn't take their eyes off them until Juleka called for their attention, warning for their discretion. But it was too late: the boys had lovestruck grins on their faces that didn't plan to go away anytime soon.
The two ladies had black hair and asian features. The short haired one was taller, had brown eyes and wore a beautiful white blazer with a red skirt. She looked elegant and confident, while the other woman looked cute, clumsy and innocent, and was shorter. She had blue eyes and dressed in a pink coat. Her hair was long and tied in two curly twin-tails. Their beauty stood out even more when they were together.
When the train started moving, Madam Mendeleiev gave the girl band some instructions- something Luka and Adrien would ask Juleka what it was about later. Later, Rose suggested an introduction game for the new members after the explanation had ended. The ladies excitedly agreed.
"I start!" said the same blond girl. "My name is Rose Lavillant and I play the trombone! I studied at a conservatoire in Paris for 3 years before joining this band recently. I like pink and unicorns and my favorite food is strawberry shortcake. Nice to meet you!"
After a round of applause, Rose signaled Juleka to continue, and she passively proceeded. "I'm Juleka. Bassist. Nice to meet you"
Next to continue was the red-haired woman from earlier, Alya, flautist and trumpeter; the drummer, Mylene; another trumpeter, Alix; and one of the saxophonists, Sabrina. It was Adrien's turn next.
"Hello!" He started, with his high-pitched voice. "My name is Ad-" he paused for a second at Juleka's deathly glare, gulping once before continuing. "My name is Noirette. I play the piano! I'm from Paris Classical School and I'm very pleased to meet you all!" He squealed, moving his arms along.
Adrien's excitement for freedom and new experiences was contagious to the rest of the ladies who energetically (almost hysterically) responded "Nice to meet you too, Noirette!".
It was Luka's turn next. He gulped, nervous, and with his fake high pitched voice and under Juleka's death stare, he started.
"Hi... My name is Lu- Lucia". 'I'm killing Adrien for giving me that name' he thought. "I play the guitar. Nice to meet you"
With their introductions over, Juleka finally relaxed. The rest of the ladies' introductions followed but, to be honest, neither Luka nor Adrien were listening: they were just patiently waiting to know more about the ladies that captivated their hearts. Their turn finally arrived, and the short haired one started:
"Hello. My name is Kagami. I sing and play the violin. I've been in the band for a few weeks. My favorite color is red and my favorite food is katsudon. Nice to meet you" a silence followed Kagami's introduction, so she called for her partner's attention with her elbow. "Marinette, your turn!"
"Oh-! Sorry… I was distracted… He-ello… My name is Ma- Ma- Marinette! I'm a singer but I can also play side instruments like the tambourine, the maracas or the castanets. I've been in this band for a few weeks and I studied in Paris Music School. My favorite color is pink and my favorite food is macarons. It's nice to meet you-", she ended with a nervous high-pitched voice.
Luka and Adrien exchanged excited lovestruck grins: the ladies' names and voices were just as beautiful as their faces. They were going to enjoy their outing with the band better than they could have expected.
______________________________
When the car got loud from the ladies chit-chat, Luka and Adrien found their moment of peace to share their thoughts.
“Luka, did you see that?” Adrien started, signaling at the end of the car, towards the singers of the band.
“Yes…I saw.” Luka answered, with a lovestruck grin on his face.
“That beautiful face…”, Adrien continued.
“Sweet voice…”, Luka added.
“Asian features…”, their mumbles continued.
“Dazzling eyes…”
“Dark shiny silky hair…”
The two men reacted at their exchanged words and looked at each other, surprised and nervous. Adrien gulped, worried.
“Wait- who are you talking about?”
“Who are YOU talking about?” Luka threw his question back at him, slightly aggressively.
“That girl, Kagami, of course!” Adrien exclaimed as if it was the most obvious response.
“Oh, that's good. I was talking about Marinette.” Luka sighed and showed him a relieved smile.
“Oh...” Adrien blinked, sighing and smiling in relief too. “I'm glad we weren't talking about the same girl. I wouldn't have liked to steal a girl from you.”
“What makes you think I wouldn't win her over you?”, Luka confidently grinned.
“Oh- anyway- It's better this way.”
The two men laughed together, trying not to be too loud for their manly voices to destroy their cover-ups.
“Will you help me with Kagami?” Adrien asked his friend.
“Only if you help me with Marinette.” said Luka, offering him a handshake he excitedly returned.
