Hiii silly! I always look forward to reading your posts so I hope you don't mind me asking this:) what can you say about mars in eighth house synastry? Who would you say feels it more or is it about the same? I have this with somebody who I haven't talked to in yearssss but for some reason can't stop thinking about lol am I crazy?🙈😂
TW: LONG POST AHEAD ///
Oh this is fun lol thank you for the love!
So, I think it would be best to know who is what in the synastry in the situation, because while this energy is intense for both parties, I think it really does matter who is who because the experience is a bit different.
When Mars the planet of action, raw intensity, sexuality, our deepest primal almost animalistic sexual desires and intensities meets the 8th house of sex, death, taboo, transformation, and deep spiritual intimacy, you have a relationship that can literally not be casual.
It is important to note that both people are already pretty intense in nature, and especially so if they have personal planets in the 8th house or have a chart ruler as Mars or in the 8th house etc. But when these two meet, they are like one livewire connecting with another livewire. The connection is instant and deep and beautiful and sexy and painful and all of the things, but you feel such intensity with this person right away. Especially physically.
The thing about this specific synastry is that there is a common theme of power or power imbalances. This is because typically, the house person wants to maintain control, autonomy, and Power in the dynamic, and the Mars person might want to change that aspect about the house person and make them submissive, and typically Mars is very successful at making the house person submit, even if Mars isn't naturally a dominant person. This could be reversed but it's typically not.
This leads to my next point, the two of you or the people who have this synastry are completely different with each other than they are with other people. The intensity is not the same with others as it is within your relationship. This is can be more of a shadow aspect of the connection because it might seem like one person in the relationship could be much more serious, intense, and maybe even overbearing and obsessive with the other person, but then be totally fine and chill with everybody else. I typically see this being the Mars person taking on that more intense energy with the house person, and then going and being soft with other people. This leaves the house person feeling a little unworthy and I think that this can start the more negative cycle that people talk about with this synastry.
I want to first describe how this energy feels for the house person and for the planet person. So for the 8th house person, they might feel like Mars may have always been in their lives in some capacity. While this aspect in synastry can definitely suggest instant attraction, it can also suggest that one or both of these people have pursued each other for a very long time. Usually it is Mars pursuing the house person for a very long time, and from the house person's perspective it can kind of feel like they are being hunted and conquered by the Mars person. They feel like the Mars person is down bad for them 👀 This feeling is kind of like a cat and mouse game where obviously the house person is the mouse, but it kind of feels sexy in a way that it is taboo? That it is against the grain? This is because there is something hidden or secret already about this dynamic. Typically when you see this aspect in synastry, it suggests that the two of them could have a hidden relationship, could have had an affair together, or it could be that one of them is the other man / woman etc. But something about their dynamic in the beginning has had to be hidden. So for the house person, this feels really exciting. This feels lively and fun and dangerous, and that is because they also have these feelings for the Mars person. They see the Mars person as sexy, alluring, sometimes aloof, mysterious and dangerous. This is before any real danger actually happens.
The Mars person might genuinely see the 8th house person as like the most intense and obsessive sexual conquest they've ever had. Sometimes, they only see the house person as a sexual conquest and as a sex object which complicates the house person's feelings even more. They are extremely drawn to the house person to an unhealthy degree, and if the two of them have known each other for a while but have not been intimate, the Mars person has definitely tried to initiate a connection with the house person. It always seems that the Mars person is chasing after the 8th house person like they want a bite. I think that the Mars person becomes obsessed with the house person really fast so I can see this playing out as the two people meeting, let's say in school or at work, and Mars immediately feels attracted to the house person. They can become friends with the house person, be flirtatious with the house person and subtly pursue them, but it could take a long time before sex and intimacy actually happens and throughout that time, the anticipation and obsession that Mars experiences builds. The Mars person can also always stare at the house person or always make intense eye contact that leaves the house person feeling naked.
Obsession happens with the house person too but what is uniquely different is the fact that the house person tends to become obsessed with Mars after the pursuit, after the sex. Sex is a major theme between the two of these people and it is really what binds them together in the beginning. I think that stereotypically, Mars "rocks" the house person's world in the bedroom. Mars knows exactly what the house person needs, knows how the house person likes to be touched, tease, played with, toyed with etc. Mars knows the house person's secret kinks and safety words etc. And this is what captures the house person. On top of that, Mars person knows how to make the house person feel safe, seeing, and emotionally protected through sex. Through intimate moments alone. This is how the obsession begins for them.
Now in terms of the longevity of a relationship like this, it is not that it is uncommon that the two of them can maintain a long-term relationship, it's just not typically what happens. Overtime though the obsession remains, bitterness and resentment builds because both people do not want to submit to one another and that seems to be the only way that this dynamic can work. Mars might emotionally take advantage of the house person or might be too aggressive with the house person which would make them run. The house person can be very emotionally consuming and require more time from the Mars person which can make them feel unappreciated of their efforts. There is an intensity to this synastry that is not only about sex, it's about control and power. And sometimes in the worst manifestations, the two can become verbally or even physically abusive towards one another and it becomes a dangerous situation. Sometimes one has to walk away to preserve their sanity or to feel chosen or to choose themselves. At some point the connection ends and even though it ends, the two people have a really hard time letting go. For instance, the house person could move out of state or out of country or can start a new job that requires them to relocate, or just generally want better for themselves which would pull them away from the Mars person. This could be flipped as well. But even if they're at a distance, they still have a psychic link to one another and they still feel each other's energy. So it is interesting that in your example, you're still thinking of this person, that's because time and space doesn't diminish the intensity that you felt with that person even if you no longer necessarily have romantic feelings for them. They might haunt your mind randomly years down the road when you're a parent or when you're married and vice versa. If the two do not end up together, it is common that they think of one another, even if they are in different relationships.
In terms of who feels it more, I'd say they feel it intensely the same way but it shows up in their psyches differently. The house person is changed by the Mars person, something that the Mars person brought to them in their life was necessary for personal growth and transformation no matter how painful it was for the house person. So on a personal level and on a deep soul level maybe the house person feels it a little deeper than the Mars person. But the Mars person is changed too, they don't just escape that addictive feeling they have towards the house person and they try to find those feelings / house person qualities in other people. They're looking for the house person in their partners, in their co-workers, in their friends, dating preferences, etc. This is intense for both people because it could take literally years for them to move on and even if they do they might still get a quick sparkle of a thought of each other and feel an intense sorrow, yearning, or grief when they think of one another. That's the psychic link.
Edited note:
You also tend to not really know how you are perceiving each other. The house person may not know how deeply the Mars person actually feels for them because the Mars person only shows their sexual interest in them for instance. Or, the Mars person does not understand that the house person wants to grow with them and heal together, and that they can trust without being aggressive. And if you have not made it past the situationship stage, you might leave this connection feeling more confused than you were when you entered it. You might not know if they ever really cared about you and vice versa. This synastry aspect is not fun at all to have sometimes lol
