summary: After a disastrous hangout with some of your 'friends', something they mentioned plagues Simon's brain. And who is he to deny his curiosity?
tags: Porn with some plot, F/M relationship, ficlet, Simon being pathetic and lonely, camgirl!reader, hyper feminine!reader (if you squint), chubby!reader (easier to spot but still need to squint), established platonic relationship, mutual (secret) pining, twitter (ewwww), taboo thoughts, sexual fantasies, "reader" uses the internet as a personal diary, repression and denial (from Simon), Simon huffing crazy amounts of copium while actively getting off to reader, btw…very obvious twist, no resolution, #clapifheshouldsuffer
Simon wasn't planning on visiting this stupid website.
But curiosity got the best of him…
In front of him now was a blurred-out dashboard covered by an annoying sign-up window.
Annoying in the sense that it was impossible to click off to explore further, free of the shame that comes with having an "X" account.
...The amount of time Simon had spent proud of not being on that hell site was about to be diminished to nothing.
All because of that stupid man-child needing sign-ups.
It was irritating, solely because of the amount of effort he had to put in to satisfy the itch in his brain.
He groans softly, letting his head fall back as he covers his face with his hands.
Why was he even entertaining the idea?
Simple.
Earlier that day, he had been hanging out with a few friends—
Correction: he was hanging out with his friend, who was hanging out with her friends.
It wasn't a secret that Simon wasn't very into social situations, let alone hanging out with such a big group, but he would sacrifice the comfort of being alone if it meant being with her.
His 'friend' [__].
A sweet, kind woman. Feminine and pretty and soft, who dressed nicely and smelled even nicer. Friendly, funny, outgoing…She was perfect, really.
…So completely different from him that it made him wonder why she cared for someone like him at all.
…
It was also no secret that Simon loved to blur the lines between friendship and desire. Falling for every female friend he's ever had (2/2 is a great streak, really) and being consumed with what he imagined love felt like.
That was…probably a symptom of being chronically alone all his life? But no matter—
Back to the explanation, [__] was hanging out with a group of her friends, and he was hanging around her. It was a pretty big group of people.
She was really good at that. Having friends, that is.
So good that he couldn't keep track of whether or not they were new faces or ones he's already had the displeasure of meeting.
He's certain, though, that they were new.
He would've remembered if they were that big of pricks.
Somehow, the topic of discussion turned into more 'unfunny' types, including horribly lowbrow humor and unoriginal references that were crass in nature.
She was already clearly annoyed at the comments. Her brow tense, and her constant smile no longer present, subtly turned into a displeased frown. Changes that only he would notice (mostly because of how much he stared at her).
He remembered exactly how the downward spiral started. One of the more annoying ones was running off about an offhanded mention of that stupid website, to which the others, playfully, started going off about how good it was for porn. They continued about how it was "so much better than the average porn site" and how it was a "treasure trove". In…much worse language than he could ever repeat.
It finally came to a point where she snapped at them, causing a whole argument where everyone, including the girls, piled onto her.
They concede by deeming her 'too sensitive' and 'suspiciously defensive about bops'. Which, to Simon, felt like they were just spewing accusations because they could see how mad it made her.
The conversation then devolved further into the same dribble, on and on, as she took a moment to collect herself.
Simon was obviously mad for her in the moment. Of course he'd be! They shouldn't have been talking about her like that!
…or any woman, for that matter, probably, but mostly her.
He remembers how he moved to comfort her, tapping her on the forearm, causing her to look at him. He can recall now the sweet smile she shined onto him immediately, wordlessly. As if he was comforting her just by being there.
It felt so good.
But of course, that little moment was interrupted by the loud giggling of the other people around them.
He remembers turning to see a boy passing around his phone to the group. Half of them were busy looking, and the others were staring straight at her.
or more correctly, her body.
This caused her to ask what the hell they were looking at, to which one of the braver (stupider) guys blurted out that they had "caught her".
Utterly confused, she demanded an explanation, and that's when they turned the phone around.
On the screen was the profile of a very raunchy model.
Despite not having her face on the screen, she had her exact skin tone and her 'general' body type.
Though Simon doesn't recall much, he tried his best to look away immediately.
His eyes were focused instead on her face, which at the time was pale in horror…
The guy stated the name on the account loudly.
"Nymph_xo"
before complimenting her on the cute screen name.
Her shocked face immediately turned to seething anger.
"That's actually so fucking disgusting!"
He remembered her screaming, before she continued berating him further about the fact that he was probably looking for girls that looked like her because he wanted them to actually be her (which was totally what he was doing, Simon thinks)
…To which the guy just brushed her words off with a quick, "stop being so self-absorbed," and told her that if it wasn't her, then she shouldn't have an issue.
That…was stupid logic, of course.
She then called them out for being complete weirdos before proceeding to tell them to "go fuck themselves" while grabbing her shit and leaving with Simon.
…
"Nymph_xo" is the next thing he types into the search after he finishes creating an account.
Simon felt bad. Really, he did.
But the curiosity that plagued his mind also felt really bad.
So bad that it was tearing his insides apart.
Could that really be her? Or were those assholes just being insane?
In the small glance he got at the photo presented to him before…he'd be lying if he said it didn't look exactly like her…
or what he imagined her looking like underneath all those clothes…
It takes a second for the profile to load.
A brief, calm second before his screen is bombarded by thumbnails of that body barely clad and in various positions.
Simon's dull, pale skin explodes in red at the sight.
…though really, what was he expecting?
He wasn't a prude by any sense of the word. There was nothing shocking about the nudity and lewdness on display now. It wasn't anything he hadn't stumbled upon before.
Frankly, in terms of internet stuff, it was exceptionally tame…
But of course, the problem lies with who that nudity and lewdness belonged to…
allegedly.
Just scrolling over the various videos felt like hot coals pressing onto his head, overheating many times over…simply because of the concept that these could be her.
Though, only judging by the thumbnails…
He was far too scared to click play on any of them. Especially because of some of the titles.
"What kind of idiot forgets how to count? The slut who's 6 orgasms deep."
"Geniunely forgetting how to speak cause I'm overstimulated asf (emotionally and sexually)"
"Keep giving me money, you'll fuck me eventually."
"Aristotle here genuinely discussing whether she would rather have to take a bad dragon toy (all the way) or use a temu rose toy (electric shock guaranteed)."
They were a lot more…vulgar than she's ever spoken.
Well—meaner, he thinks. Maybe that points towards it not being her after all!
And maybe that fact can make him feel a tiny bit better for the ache in his pants.
…
It was almost dreadful how easily his cock hardened in the little time he spent here. The thumbnails in front of him were almost flirting with the lack of clothing present.
Which seemed slightly off to him.
[__] was not a shy woman, often wearing tank tops or shirts that showed off her perfect tits chest. And he was never like this when they were hanging out in person. Even when they'd bounce with her laughter in response to an unintentional joke. Or even when she'd lean forward in interest, and he'd have to keep his eyes from watching how they'd pressed together. Never letting them linger to not come off as perverted…and to keep himself from imagining his weeping cock fucking them while her tongue caught the tip.
…
There was a standard then that was absent now. Maybe it was human decency. Maybe it was shame.
Though he can't say that that wasn't also running through him at the moment.
Shame mixed with a buzzing arousal.
A concoction that made him dizzy enough to want to pull himself out already.
…
no.
That wouldn't be right, right?
if it turned out to actually be [__]…
Then there would definitely be some fucked up implications to him not only doing that to her videos, but being on here in general.
…
But if it wasn't…
He takes a small suck of his bottom lip as his leg restlessly bounces.
Maybe hearing her voice would help.
His eyes scan over each video scrolling by, examining every thumbnail to find which one looks just right to help him out…
With his research, that is.
Obviously.
…
Another few scrolls and he stumbles upon something…
"ranting while I touch myself."
The title stood out to him for some weird reason. It was almost interesting if he could describe it.
What seems to seal the deal is the state of the model in the thumbnail.
She was only visible from the chest down. She's sitting politely with her legs crossed, wearing a grey tank top that defines her soft body nicely.
The black pair of dolphin shorts she paired with it almost fit like underwear, showing off pretty plush thighs. And the outfit was finished with some fuzzy white socks that fit her legs like the leg warmers [__] loved to wear. The ones that made her legs look stubby and adorable.
…
…No pink in sight.
That has to be another point for it not being her, right?
Only time would tell.
"Do you ever have that feeling that you want to strangle someone?"
—Is the first thing that comes from the woman's mouth. Her voice was smooth, but slightly irritated. Like it's been used for longer than healthy…or louder than normal.
"Sorry—I wanted to start this off a lot better, but honestly, who cares?"
Even with the slight fry in her voice, it's clear that she was rather gentle in her speech…
Odd considering her titles.
"I wanted to try something out real quick. I know it's kind of unusual for people to be talking while they're slutting themselves out online, but I love y'all."
Her voice edges on clear sarcasm as her manicured hands move to make a heart, "And cause of that, I can make y'all as parasocial as I want."
She shrugs simply, "Makes me more money and lets me be a bit more genuine with my oomfs."
Simon squints at the weird terms coming from her mouth.
…what the fuck is an oomf?
"I saw this thing called a 'ramblefap' on Reddit while I was playing with my pussy. As one does." She explains casually, "And I thought…that's such a great idea! God, it's really quite beautiful. I get to rant about whatever I want with no consequences, and y'all get the content!"
She moves to adjust herself, getting into a more comfortable position that involves spreading her legs out. One propped up and the other dangling from the arm of her chair.
"Plus, after the day I've had, it'd be like heaven to bust a nut while talking."
God, she's crude.
"Which leads me to my first point of contention."
Her hands find themselves at the hem of her tank top, pulling it down slightly as she leans toward the camera.
"You see these pretty things?" She asks like she was speaking directly to him, "See how gorgeous they're sitting, pushing up and out like they're begging for your attention?" She starts, letting her voice get playfully breathy and sensual at the end.
Oh God.
The heat that Simon had escaped flooded back into him in an instant.
All because her chest looked identical to [__]'s.
The woman pulls back just as quickly, "Yeah—well it seems like someone irl doesn't even fucking notice them." She scoffs as she crosses her arms, "I've been trying for like five-ever to get that stupid cunt to even look at them—I even bought a push-up bra!!"
She quickly pulls down her tank top to show off her pink, lacy bra, "Does it look like I need a push-up bra?"
Simon's eyes widen as she casually flashes him.
"Don't answer that, I already know," she huffs out, leaning back in defeat.
A quick keyboard click is the only thing that rings out next. Leaving Simon back in silence.
He was rather…shocked to say the least?
There was…no way that was [__]. At least…he thinks?
He wouldn't put it on his grave. But…it was hard to believe.
His friend wasn't rude…or crass like that or—or…
[__] was sweet and kind. She had manners and barely ever cussed.
Unlike the woman on his screen now.
…
Sure, they might kind of share some extrovertedness. Being loud and open…
But was that an uncommon trait? Isn't half the world extroverted?
Not like that matters…
What does is the clear difference between the two.
The way Ms.Nymph conducts herself isn't at all like he'd imagine [__] acting as if she ever did this kind of stuff.
…
…which he totally didn't fantasize about ever.
That would be weird and rather gross. Making up scenarios about that kinda stuff was…
Uhm.
But, for the sake of imagination, if he had to imagine such a thing…
[__] would probably be far more refined. Only cheeky photos and maybe a video on special occasions.
…And said videos would be tasteful; ones where she'd politely show off her pretty pussy. Let everyone see how utterly drenched it was, sweet and sticky at the mere idea of getting fucked.
He's imagine that instead of Nymph's crass language, [__] would rely on perfect moans.
To show how good it felt when she'd make tight circles against her puffy clit. To coax in the viewer to play along with her…
To beg him to come and fill her up correctly.
He shakes the thoughts out of his head, his eyes going back to the paused screen in front of him…
00:30 — 06:12
…
There was a lot more to comb through to make sure he was absolutely certain.
"—But this is what happens when you put your eggs in one basket." She mumbles, "…I should probably get naked while I talk, huh?"
To her own questions, she starts to unclasp her bra.
"So anyway—you might be like…why are you talking about another guy while addressing your viewers?" She laughs before tossing her bra somewhere off camera.
"'Cause I know y'all fuck with it?" She snorts, "Trust me—the cuck market is out there."
"Plus, even if you're not into it, you could like mute me?" She offers, before scoffing, "Or just go watch something else. You're allowed??"
Before too much berating, her hands move up to cup her chest, squeezing the soft flesh, "But really, who'd skip this?"
Simon feels a desperate twitch from his neglected cock. Like it was begging for him to just help it out…
He gives out an exasperated sigh as his fingers drum against the desk.
"Mh, fuck…" She whispers, her thumbs swiping against her nipples, "Just thinking about him finally playing with my tits. Sucking them…"
Simon nibbles his lower lip anxiously, his already red cheeks deepening in color.
There was a mild sense of privacy invasion going in and out of his brain. After all, it really could be her.
…Even if he personally doesn't want it to be.
Because that would intrinsically make him a bad guy, right? For continuing to watch this?
…but then again, wouldn't what he's doing now make him just as bad since he was still unsure?
…
No, right?
This isn't horrid.
He's not touching himself…
Or even willfully pumping his dick to the fantasy that the girl on screen was her.
He wasn't taking advantage of gaining access to this private sector of her life.
…One that probably wasn't ever meant to reach his eyes.
…
Fuck.
"Shit—" She laughs, hesitantly removing her hands, "I'm supposed to be ranting. Right…"
The woman sighs as she settles her hands in her lap, "Okay, back to the guy—He doesn't seem to be getting the hint that I like him like at all. And I'm just like…what do I have to do?"
"Y'all can believe me if you want, but I'm not this crazy in person." She explains, "I have shame…if you can believe that."
Simon couldn't.
…but he guesses that's what makes doing things like this viable for someone.
He wouldn't imagine people would risk this kind of thing if there were even a chance of people they knew finding it.
…
Or is that the exact thrill?
"And it's like…he's super shy. Which is totally my type, by the way. Like, real shit, no pandering," She asserts, "So I don't want to scare him off…but it's like, the fuck am I supposed to do?"
"At the same time, though, I'm not really helping my case cause I want to like…gnaw on him every time I'm around him? like I'm in heat, and it's not subtle." She huffs, "Something about brooding, scruffy-looking men just does something to me." She squeals. her hands lifting to grasp at the air.
An action that feels weirdly familiar to Simon.
Those hands then moved down her sides, caressing herself as she spoke.
"…with the dark circles and dull skin. Tired eyes and facial hair that matures his face just right…and like, the almost emo hair that he doesn't like being referred to as emo hair…" Her voice turns to whining, like just imagining the guy made her excited.
And he believes it with how in-depth she's going…
Brave, considering the guy could stumble upon this video and figure it out from the not-so-subtle description.
…Guess she thinks the guy’s either an idiot or a prude.
heh. He probably was if she was this confident.
In any case, Simon can't help but blush at her excitement.
Even if it wasn't [__], and even if she wasn't talking about him specifically, he felt almost flattered that he was someone's type.
…Someone with such pretty tits and soft-looking skin…
"God, I'm patheticccc." Her hands seem to find their way to her pants, her fingers pulling down her shorts slightly, "Guys—I'm losing my charm-uhhh."
"You can't seduce people like those old pornos like you used to…they patched that shit a long ass time ago." She scoffs.
That makes him laugh slightly.
Maybe it was just the utter ridiculousness of that statement or the tone in which she took. As if she were actually devastated.
This lady is quite entertaining if nothing else.
"The worst thing about it…is the fact that I know about the girl he used to like…and guys…" She starts, her voice turning into someone who sounds scared.
"She's totally different from me!!" She falls back like she's distraught, her hands moving off camera to where her neck would be, most likely fake choking herself, "Somebody sedate me!!!"
Though amusing, the emote doesn't stay. Just as fast as she started, she stops.
"—Used to, though!" She emphasizes, sitting right back up, "SO there's like, hope…I think."
She seemed rather bubbly about the whole thing. If it were Simon in that position and [__]'s last crush was the polar opposite of him, he'd kill himself.
…
Like any normal person would, obviously.
"And it's like, if I have to…I could totally change my whole aesthetic!" She speaks, hopefully being sarcastic, "I don't even like dressing pretty anyway. I could get rid of the mini-skirts and tank tops and switch my palette to neutrals."
She plays with the string of her shorts as she continues to list off everything.
Each thing listed rang familiar to the man watching.
"…and trash all my jewelry…and…stop doing my makeup."
…
There's a moment of silence before a soft, cathartic laugh comes from her.
"Just kidding, guys! You just walked the prank—self-love is always the best choice! Don't ever change for a man!" She states as she makes that silly heart again.
Simon stifles a laugh, not really expecting a life lesson from the still topless women in front of him.
Who said Twitter porn videos couldn't be wholesome?
"Ugh. I'm just coping—Sorry. You guys aren't coming for that—heh. cumming." She giggles.
"It's so much harder to talk and touch myself at the same time than I imagined. How do those GWA artists do it?" She tussles around for a moment before peeling her shorts off herself.
"But…y'all are getting the result of my spiral." Her voice turns softer before her delicate fingers brush her pretty, laced panties, "Mh…you see how wet I am?"
There's a soft silence before her digits hook themselves on the fabric, taking care to pull her panties to the side.
The moment she revealed her soaked cunt to the audience, it was like Simon's brain was crashing. He felt like he was literally blue-screening.
It was odd. Weird.
He's seen those kinds of things countless times before.
…
Obviously.
But—unlike those other times, he was now struggling not melt.
Maybe it was her voice. Or the sincerity of it all.
…or maybe because his brain was processing her as [__].
But there was something that set this apart.
"All because of that stupid fuck…" She whispers, her middle finger swiping up her glistening slit, causing her to let out a tiny whimper.
"You know how fucking hard it is to act all sweet and pretty in front of him?" She whines, her finger doing lazy circles against her clit, "While I'm soaking through my panties in public? Squeezing my thighs so tight to try to at least relieve something~."
Simon's lips press into a thin line as his brain tries its best to keep itself busy with her words and not her actions. Though he can't really focus on anything else…
Not when it was so prominent.
Not when he was imagining it was [__].
…
The concept forms with his input. Damning him with the mere idea.
…but it wasn't like he knew how to stop it.
Even if he tried, he couldn't.
Not when she was right in front of him…
Chest rising as she gasps at her own touch. Her delicate fingers working her pretty, eager pussy.
Fuck. He could already imagine how sticky it felt…
A sweet moan pops his bubble of fantasy, back to the body before him.
Her hand busies itself with massaging one of her boobs as her fingers slide down her slit, collecting the glistening slick coming from it. She gives a small whine as she rubs her fingers together.
The string that connects them when she pulls them apart is almost sinful. Satisfying his own query instantly.
"And that's just from thinking about him…" She giggles, "…imagine if I ever got him to actually fuck me."
Her hand moves back down to her core again, "Fuck—just imagining him playing with my pussy so sweetly—so eagerly…"
…
He would. He'd be so eager to just try to get her to come. Even if he knew he'd be bad at it.
She gives a small laugh, "God, I'm not good at dirty talk…but like, that's the point!"
Her words turn breathy as her fingertips trace her fluttering entrance, "I just wanna fuck myself…"
A whimper comes next, her middle and ring finger pushing slowly into her waiting hole.
"You wanna watch me fuck myself?" She asks in a high, pleading tone.
And of course, Simon nods in response. Like, there was actual audience input involved.
But she does just what he wants anyway. Her fingers pump into herself. Slow at first, before finding the perfect rhythm.
Oh, is it perfect.
He's just hypnotized by her movements.
In and out. In and out.
So sure of her actions.
Her moans ring so sweet in his ears. Keeping him attentive and distracted all at once. So much that he barely registers his own hand pawing at his pathetically erect dick straining against his pants.
His breath hitches as he feels waves of relief start flooding him, convincing him to continue despite his conscience screaming at him.
"Ahh~ fuck…" She cries softly, "Can't…s'not enough…"
Still, she doesn't stop herself from bullying her fingers knuckle deep.
In. Out. In. Out.
"Still feel so fuckin' empty~" She whispers, "Need cock in me…"
"You wanna fill me up? Make me forget about that asshole?"
"Fuck yes…" Simon pleads, continuing his own needy touches, "Please, [__]…let me…"
He was far too fucked to even realize he just said his friend's name.
"If you insist…" She jokes softly, easing the heavy tension of before.
She pulls away from herself, before moving more out of frame for a moment, "Just cause that means I have an excuse to pull this out."
What she brings back with her makes Simon's heart stop…
In that split second of silence, he's fumbling to untie the strings of his sweatpants.
Fuck anything he's said before.
The piousness and the hiding behind curiosity.
He didn't care who it really was.
Not at the moment.
Whether it was a random woman or his friend.
He doesn't care.
And if he were anymore honest, he'd admit that he wished it were her.
Especially with the way she's taking that thick toy.
"Hah~ Si—" She cries as she cuts herself off, "—Just what I fuckin' needed."
Her words slur as she grinds down onto that fake cock. Her hips jittering as she bottoms out.
She sighs as she moves her hips around, trying to adjust to the girth that was impaling her.
What comes next is a series of experimental bounces, all sung with moans that Simon soaked up. His eyes lasered in as she finds her rhythm before letting his hand stroke to the same beat.
"Such a big cock…" She whispers, giving a tiny giggle, "You love stretching me out, huh?"
Simon nods along. His brain morphs the video in front of him into a fantasy. filling in the blanks where the camera cuts off and pasting what he imagines [__] looking like in pleasure.
Imagining how she'd bite her plump bottom lip as a whine escapes her mouth. How her eyebrows would knit in heavy pleasure. Her cheeks red and her eyes cloudy.
He takes in how her legs quiver as she bounces up and down rather sloppily on her toy of choice. How the rest of her body reacts; Her whole body moving with her. How she's soaking her inner thighs and drooling arousal down the sides of the dildo.
God, she was sloppy, wasn't she?
So perfect and messy.
How he wanted so badly to clean her up. Let his tongue graze gently, trying his best not disturb her while he gets his fill.
Fuck, it was pathetic.
He could imagine anything he wanted right now.
Pounding into her with reckless abandon as she whines and squeezes down on his dick. Fucking her pretty little throat while she cries off her eye makeup.
…and yet the idea of getting scrapes while playing bitch is what makes him want to come.
He watches as her moans turn desperate and her movements grow restless.
"cum…" She whimpers, "needa'…"
Oh fuck.
He fights to keep pace with her, trying his best not to finish before she does.
Any semblances of words spudder our into whining, like this was all too much for her.
He can see how her soft stomach flexes, her hands trying to find a place to anchor themselves as her breathing hightens.
"Please cum in me…please, please plea—hahhh—ahh!~."
Her words fail her as she finally crashes. Hips fully sheathing, hands squeezing, body grinding out her orgasm.
Everything about it ringing perfect to the man still fervently stroking his cock.
…Despite it already oozing his pearly product. Like magma over the tip, falling and covering his hand.
Simon's head falls back as he whines out his own pitiful cries. Letting the feeling of relief edge to painful overstimulation.
Simply because he couldn't get enough.
Just imagining his wasted cum nestled into her messy cunt instead. Not ever getting the chance to drip out because he'd never let it.
God, he wanted that so fucking badly.
Wanted to keep her there forever. Kiss her shoulders and face and really any skin available to him senseless as they lay together as one. Wanted to be able to whisper every soft thing he's ever imagined, every loving word or praise. To show his devotion to her.
Wanted to finally (hopefully) implant something tangible that would reaffirm his love, his dedication in a physical way.
Something that boasted the fact she chose him. To love. To have something that serious with.
Through his haze of desire and imagination, he can hear one final thing from the video.
The gentle voice of the woman laughing out a soft yet regrettable, "God…I'm pathetic…"
…
With that, Simon's left alone in the clarity that comes next.
His mind, now unclouded and actively cringing at the things he did not even seconds ago. About his attitude towards the woman. About the things he imagined about [__]...
He looks down at himself, messy and covered in his own release. Breath heavy and uneven. His face flushed uncomfortably.
It makes him groan. Makes him shut his eyes and let his head fall back to free hang behind him.
He's so weak.
So pathetic.
…
The creeping shame consumes him quickly. Prickles of it combine with frustration to sink their spines into his sides, further discomforting him.
And he just accepts it.
He lets himself have those few seconds to wallow in self-pity and disgust.
To steep in it…
before he lets out a big sigh and starts to clean himself up.
hellooooo niche community !!! back it again with a Simon Henriksson thirst post.
this is actually the first time I've ever written something explicit about this man, it's a lot more plot heavy than I really anticipated, but then again, it's always like that when I write for him (can't stop won't stop)
If y'all recognize me from my other Simon fics---THIS ISN"T CONNECTED TO THEM. Canonically, that is. It's low-key the same reader-insert (because I'm being self indulgent) but this doesn't (wouldn't) happen in the actual series of events.
...Think of it as a spin off to the fanfiction (that I have yet to work on)
Anyhow- unimportant, but what is true in every universe is...
I like making Simon suffer !
This was also one of those other kinktober posts I mentioned a couple of posts ago. if you couldn't tell from the voyeurism and everything else about this. I got like two more of dem. I think y'all can tell what kind of stuff i'm into with all of these—and I feel exposed.
Maybe I'll go back to some fluff ! Even though I love exploring darker (taboo?) topics, everyone needs some fluff in their lives.
she psychological on my smut til I think (and finish) - Hunnithan
I don't think Simon Henriksson would be someone who y'all describe to be "dominant" or whatever y'all headcanon him to be.
If you were with Simon, understand that he's 19 or 20 in the game, suffers with anxiety, depression and possible paranoid-schizo.
So, what you're getting is someone whose only daily routine is getting up and going to school possible late night walks or staying up extra late because his thoughts are eating him up.
Simon is covered in self harm scars. Shoulders, wrists, thighs are even covered with scars he made himself.
He has low self confidence, he's someone who's so confused all the time. Zones out half of the time throughout the game, questioning everything around him.
If you were to enter a relationship with him, he likes to slow it down..don't rush him.
He gets easily obsessed and attached real quick once in a relationship, but understand this, he's still someone who deals with depression and anxiety, so you're also getting a partner who has those episodes in life where you won't be seeing him sometimes. Or you will, but he will be in bed, rotting. He doesn't want you to see him this way, but he also can't help it??
He has no experience when it comes to intimacy, vulnerability was never in much exposure in his life. While in a depressed episode, he'll have a difficult time getting aroused. It's not that he doesn't love you, he does really, he's just going through a lot inside his head.
And if you come off as "disappointed" reading this, congratulations, you're not allowed to have a partner who has mental health problems..
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Prompt - Outdoor Sex, Intoxication, Temporary Marks
Warnings: male yandere x fem reader, mentions of dub con, mentions of self-harm (not directed towards reader), emotional manipulation
WC: 1500
Silence filled the suburban neighborhood.
Twilight has long burnt out from above, leaving the sky in a smoky, dark hue. Simon preferred it to be this way. There was less of a chance for him to encounter another person in the streets at this hour. He needed to be alone right now. Too many thoughts in his head are twisting ugly, turning into something disgustingly abysmal.
A sharp inhale of his cigarette made him hack, coughing violently into his elbow. He nearly doubled over. The cigarette falling from his lips and burning out on the sidewalk beneath his shoes.
Fuck. That was his last one, too. It was supposed to last until the end of his walk.
“Simon, is that you?” A chipper voice cut above his coughing fit. When he turned to face you, he was met with an awkward gait and a drunken smile plastered on your face. Your sweater was falling off your shoulder, exposing a thin strap of your bra.
Simon was quick to straighten himself and wipe away any remaining spit from his lips. “What are you doing here?” He asked, standing off to the side to make room for you.
You giggled and lolled your head to the right with a lazy shrug. “I can be asking you the same. Why… Why are you walking around my house?”
“Your house? You live around Stockholm?”
“Uh, yeah?” You bump his arm with your elbow. “Wanna walk with me? I think… I drank too much at the bar…” You didn’t even wait for an answer before hooking his left arm with yours. Not a vice grip, but one close to it. You fumbled forward, barely managing to keep yourself upright by using Simon as an anchor.
It made him wince. Thankfully, you didn’t notice. Though, with time, you would.
Simon glanced down to where you two connected, catching sight of beads of blood seeping through his hoodie. It was also contaminating the nice sweater you had on. From a tiny fleck to a growing spot, you’ll definitely notice it when you sobered up. The sight made him frown. It would be difficult to wash blood off of white fabric, speaking from experience. He didn’t want you to know this side of him. Not after…
He shook his head. Not now.
“You have to be careful,” he spoke, words drawn out with heavy consideration. “What if you passed out on the street?”
You paused. The pit in his stomach deepened when you didn't respond. Words on the tip of his tongue died immediately each time he opened his mouth to speak again. He doesn’t want to push and repeat the same thing that happened with Sohpie. The dark thoughts were coming back like rolling clouds. Similar to the ones that plague him at night.
You limply waved your hand. “Good thing I found you, right? We don’t… really talk much. I see you in class sometimes. I remember your hoodie.”
He stayed silent at that for reasons unknown even to him.
Simon bit the inside of his cheek. You were starting to noticeably pull him down the further you walked down the road. Twisting paths have crossed your feet a handful of times, causing you to trip over yourself.
You definitely wouldn’t have made it home. That much he can deduce. Whatever get together you had at the bar had left you far past tipsy. Were you a lightweight?
He looked down your shirt whenever you dipped forward, catching sight of your tits tucked under a plain bra. A blush crept up his face. It felt wrong each time he did it, but he continued to do so. Even when you pulled him towards the gate that led to your backyard, he leered at you. Your body feels warm and full of energy. Something that he’s been lacking since as long as he can remember. Never once has he felt happy or secure in his future.
The one time he wanted to be confident and take charge was a day he pushed down out of shame. Sophie. She rejected him twice for good measure because he insisted on his love for her. Was love even necessary?
Another rake over your body darkened his thoughts.
He wants to be selfish. He wants a girlfriend. Someone to love him for himself, unchanged and imperfect. Though, that seems unlikely. Old and fresh injuries on his wrists would disgust any girl from dating him—
“Hello? Simon?” You sang, your eyes fluttering and full of weary. You snapped him out of his thoughts again, but his facial expression still read one of irritation and anger about his situation. You had an idea on how to fix that. “Do you wanna… y’know?” A low tilt of your head towards your sliding glass backdoor was enough to confuse Simon.
“What? Me?”
“Mm-hm.” You barely had a chance to hum before he crashed his lips against your mouth. He tasted awful and roughly pushed his tongue into your mouth. Simon moved his lips stiffly and licked every part of your molars and gums. If you were sober, you would’ve changed your mind. Hell, you wouldn’t even consider him. Though, all you can think about now was a quickie and the consequences for that can wait until tomorrow.
Keys fell from your hand and clashed down onto the deck. The rattle of keychains and metal was enough for Simon to break the kiss. His scratchy chin gave you goosebumps as he kissed down your neck in a fervor.
“Simon…!” You whined, lowering yourself to the stairs to search for your keys in the darkness. Your efforts were in vain, though, as he followed you down. Unrelenting and full of pent up frustration, Simon was already pulling down your pants before you could even register it. “Wait! Let’s get inside first!”
“Please.” It was all he could mutter past the lustful haze. Simon was impatient and pulled your hips into the air. He only nudged your pants down until he caught sight of your clothed cunt and did the same to that piece of clothing.
Your face was pushed down against the wood as you felt a cool breeze against your folds. Simon wasted no time to slide his finger inside a welcoming heat. “Simon…!”
“Shh, they’ll hear.” Finally, he slowed. He kept his finger inside, pained at his hesitation to push until you took him down to his hilt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll be slow. Forgive me.”
He leaned his body against your back. Appreciating the expanse of warmth radiating off of you, Simon inhaled deeply and sighed. You smelled sickly sweet. A weird combination of your perfume and alcohol. He noticed your shoulder was still exposed and shifted his full attention to it.
While you fought to stay awake and adjust to the suddenness of the situation, Simon fluttered sheepish kisses along your shoulder blade. He was gentle about it first. Peppering soft kisses up and down. A feigned innocence of what’s to come before he starts sucking skin into his mouth. Stained teeth bite into flesh, enough to make you yelp and shift uncomfortably. He licked and mumbled apologies that slowly morphed into something else.
“Mine… You’re my first. Am I yours?” He asked out of nowhere. Eyes full of want and sadness. A need to fit in with the rest of society and people his age. It didn’t help that his epiphany came at the worst time as he slowly pushed his finger deeper inside of you.
You hold in a groan. Unable to properly process your words when the world was spinning rapidly under the weight of a strange college classmate.
“Will this make you my girlfriend?” He insisted.
Pathetic. Just like with Sophie.
He shouldn’t care for her anymore. Not when you led him straight to your house and into your weeping cunt.
“Mm, Simon…? Please, more. Don’t stop.”
The whine in your voice made his heart heavy. He couldn’t explain it. Your avoidance of his questions was making him plummet. “Please be my girlfriend. I can be good. I-I can make you cum.” With new found determination, Simon moved his finger quickly. Even with the sound of your moans growing louder and the slickness from your opening accumulating, he didn’t feel like he won you over. He pulled his finger out with a loud pop, making your toes curl with a sharp gasp. The sound of an unfastened zipper filled your ears. He was quick to tease his tip against your opening, hoping to entice you to push yourself against him. To beg. To want him.
You kept silent, only uttering tired moans and whispers.
He was losing you.
“Please. Please be my girlfriend…!” He nearly wanted to cry. Surely when you sobered up, you would forget about this night. You can get a new sweater and wait for the hickeys to fade and simply move on. While he would be left picking up the pieces again. Like he did with Sophie. "Please."
He pushed in, despite your initial pained groan. “Simon… Gentle. You said you’ll be slow.”
He stilled again. He was already halfway inside, but he can feel how tight you were. He nearly wanted to cum then and there. How could he have missed out on this for so long?
It’s going to be a long night of begging and fucking you into accepting his proposal.
˗ˏˋ₊⊹ Decided to do a masterlist to keep up with all my works, and that so people can find them easier depending on what they're looking for. Anyways, enjoy! Remember requests are ALWAYS OPEN.
˗ˏˋ★‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Avatar (Cameron Movies)
Let the world burn // Varang x Na'vi reader
You're sure you still have ash in your mouth, even after all these years. Still feel your sa'nu 's burnt body on your hands as you tried to at least drag her out to let her body join the earth, to go to Eywa- but now it's only a distant memory, as you lie down in the tsa'hik's furs, bodies tangled in a disgraceful mating.
Join me in Death // Varang x Mangkwan Na'vi reader
You're Varang's mate- but it wasn't easy to get to this place.
Puppy Love // Miles "Spider" Socorro x Human AFAB Reader
Growing up in Pandora after your parents died at the hands of the RDA gave you a new family- the Omatikaya. Thankfully you weren’t the only “monkey”, as Spider was always there for you, and eventually feelings grew.
Dream Walker PT1 // Norm Spellman x Metkayina Na'vi GN Reader
Years have passed since your mate died while hunting, leaving you alone to raise your boy, Aput. After your sister Ronal accepts the uturu requested by the Sully's, you begin warming up to the family- finding yourself captivated by JakeSully's stories, it's like a prayer has been answered when another one comes to see Kiri after her convulsion.
Sard Hex at the Base // Zdinarsik “Z-Dog” x Recom Na'vi AFAB Reader
After being fatally wounded in war, the RDA decides to add you to the recom team, bringing you back in blue. Feelings arise with the complex feeling of being brought back from the dead, and you're forced to face them.
You Wanted Love, i Wanted Gore P1 // Neteyam te Suli x Mangkwan Na'vi AFAB Reader
You're the daughter of Varang, and Tsakarem of the Mangkwan. You were raised with blood, and never allowed to feel or fail without being shown the consequences. After the successful raid of the Wind Trader's caravan, you manage to snag yourself your very own slave- none other than the Toruk Makto's oldest son- however, what happens when feelings get in the way of your mother's lessons?
You Wanted Love, i Wanted Gore P2 // Neteyam te Suli x Mangkwan Na'vi AFAB Reader
After Neteyam is taken away by his family, you, daughter of Varang have to find a way to hide your pregnancy and deal with Varang's mate, Miles Quaritch, as he's quick to discover your secrets. Will there be any way to escape this?
Gran Pecador // Miles Quaritch x Mangkwan Na'vi Reader
You're grown passionate in hating Quaritch because he stole your place next to Varang. In that passion you've become foolish, and when attempting to end him once and for all, he outsmarts you.
Oblivion // Norm Spellman x Na'vi Reader
After being nothing more than a testing rat for the RDA for years, the Rebellion manages to raid one of their labs, freeing the kidnapped Na’vi and finding you, completely passed out, barely holding onto life. Things take a twist when they take you back to High Camp and you finally wake up- thinking Norm Spellman is your mate.
100 Follower Special! PT: Lyle Wainfleet // Lyle Wainfleet x GN reader
"You’re dating them? Them?!" (Drabble)
Like Him P1 // Neteyam Te Suli x Human Reader
Being Quaritch’s daughter made you grow up with very complex feelings about him- You’ve always dedicated your life to the RDA, but Spider helps you see another way. After the war with the Metkayina, you’re about to die, but Eywa has a plan, and as Spider leaves Quaritch behind he finds your almost-gone body floating. After convincing the Sully’s, they allow you to stay with them and heal you. To your disdain, it seems you have to share room- err, Marui, with another person who is also badly injured. Thankfully it seems the oldest of the Sully’s kids has quite the patience, even for curious humans.
Bored, you begin rummaging through old movies Norm has, and find a movie that resembles a lot your own relationship with Jake. Suspicions of cheating, growing tired of discussions and more issues attracts wrong attention from other females towards him, since people assume you've broken up. It's up to you now to re-kindle the flame. The thing is, when suspicions reach a new high, will you believe him?
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
Dispatch (Videogame)
She's my girl // Invisigal/Courtney x AFAB reader
You're sweet and kind. Invisigal is quite the opposite, however, opposites attract.
'Till death do us part // Invisigal/Courtney x reader
Courtney knew she had her flaws, and fuck, sometimes she felt bad for all you put through for her, but what happens when she crosses the line?.
Three's a crowd // Robert Robertson / Mecha Man x Invisigal / Courtney x Reader.
You and Invisigal hate each other- but take out all that energy fucking your brains out. What happens when Robert gets in the picture? Easy, you defend your property.
Remember the time // Shroud/Elliot Connor x AFAB reader
You're Arc Nebula, gifted with the ability of controlling electricity. You're one of the youngest members of the Brave Brigade along with Track Star. Eventually you meet Elliot, a man who really wants to get in. Even when Astral tells you that he's bad news you can't help but be captivated by Elliot. You eventually get on a relationship, quit the Brave Brigade and from there things get worse. 15 years pass by and finally you're face to face with your husband.
Lacrimosa // Shroud/Elliot Connor x AFAB reader
You always had a deep resentment against your father, Astral Mecha Man. After he's killed you abandon your younger brother Robert in order to become a villain/criminal, working for Shroud. After he escapes jail you finally get what you've wanted all these years. Things ony get more difficult when Robert sneaks inside the hideout to kill Shroud, and finds you instead.
Gimme More // Track Star/Chase x AFAB reader (my magnum opus)
It's 2003, Chase has to babysit your little brother Robert, and when the little punk goes to sleep is time for you to sneak out with Chase to have a good time, and after 15+ years you two keep it together, even when Robert comes back to your life.
Menlo Park // Toxic x AFAB reader
You've had a rough life, and it seemed like the SDN was your final chance to be a better person, however after Robert fires you, you have no other choice than to go back to your old mistakes.
She's a Monster // Malevola Gibb x AFAB reader
You used to be part of the Yachties, one of the oldest families in town to smuggle drugs and do crime, and one that is explicitly rivals with your co-worker, Malevola. After being kicked out of the Yachties for coming out as a lesbian, you realize there's one final "Fuck you" you can give them.
Jupiter, You're on my Mind // Blonde Blazer/Mandy x reader PT2
A wise man once said- never fuck your boss. And of course, you didn't listen, so things ended badly, of course they did.
Bathroom Bitch // Blonde Blazer/Mandy x reader PT1
Because of Phenomenaman's biology, Blonde Blazer has some needs she needs taken care of he can't do himself. Thankfully, her assistant (You! Yay!) is great at making each end of shift perfect to take off some stress.
Swipe, Swipe, What? // Phenomaman/Katon-Ur x AFAB reader
Phenomaman is destroyed after Blonde Blazer breaks up with him, so he creates a Tinder account. He eventually finds you, and isn't going to let go.
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Cry of Fear & Afraid of Monsters (Videogames)
Perverted // Simon Henriksson x AFAB reader
After you're forced to take care of your depressed step-brother, you're thinking to also help him in other not conventional ways. You might also have something going on by the side with one of his friends, so no one can find out about your little secret.
Her Reflection // Simon Henriksson x AFAB reader
Wanna be Yours // Simon Henriksson x reader
Your Face // FTM Trans Simon Henriksson x AFAB reader
Off with your Head // Simon Henriksson x AFAB Reader x David Leatherhoff
Just Friends // Simon Henriksson x AFAB Bimbo reader
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The Batman (Movie 2022)
I don't want to see tomorrow (Unless i see it with you) // The Riddler/Edward Nashton x AFAB reader
Bruce Wayne surprised the public as he got married with a woman no one knew, even as he tried making the wedding as discreet at possible, the media found out. Little did he knew, he wasn't the only one in love with her, the difference is that the other man was a bit more gruesome when it came to love.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
Diabolik Lovers (Anime & Games)
Twilight // Reiji Sakamaki x AFAB reader
Reiji has taken a special interest in you- wether it was from controlling you to making anything in his power for you to suffer if you "let" any of his brothers bite you.
Imperfection // Reiji Sakamaki x reader
After realizing he's not at perfect as he wants, Reiji has a meltdown which causes you to avoid him.
Lovers Rock // Reiji Sakamaki x reader
Having the woman of his life, Reiji looses you because of his father, and after years he decides to finally stand up to him, will it be too late?
His Doll // Kanato Sakamaki x reader
After Kanato took a special liking to you, he became your safe place as you learnt how to love him.
Brides to be // Yui Komori x AFAB reader
When Yui was sent to the Sakamaki household, she was sent with another girl from her church, Y/N, as time passes and they both find safety in eachother, feelings begin to grow.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (Anime)
Cannot Touch Her // Jonathan Joestar x Dio's Fianceé AFAB Reader
Everyone knows the truth. Dio- the man you're supossed to marry doesn't really want you, you even wonder if his heart can feel anything resembling love. But George Joestar and your own parents arranged this... But you know who really owns your heart.
Like a one-way mirror, you couldn't see him, but he could see you perfectly, in all your beauty.
word count: 1,199
cw: stalker/yandere behavior basically
originally posted 12.13.23. i LOVE megadeth and was so happy when i noticed his bag has their pin
He liked to think he knew you pretty well. This included your full name, address, your birthday, assumed from body language and gifts regarding the few people you occasionally hung out with, family member names, your relationship with them, your major - same as his, photography - and where you worked. The last one was surprisingly the easiest to find. All he had to do was follow you and stay invisible, something he was exceptionally good at.
Like a one-way mirror, you couldn't see him, but he could see you perfectly, in all your beauty.
You were different, inside and out, like a red rose in a sea of white petals. You didn't look at him like he was a scourge on the planet, like he was some kind of pest that just wandered around the filthy floors. At least, that's what he gathered the first time you saw him. A simple smile was all it took.
In some sick way he didn't really consider it stalking. More like protecting you from the corruption of everyone else in this damn school. Or trying to, as much as one can try without talking to any of them.
The thoughts that pricked his mind like thorns were teetering on the thin line between moderately off-putting and fucked up - a mix of 'it's not like I'm hurting anyone' and 'you're a goddamn creep, you know that?'
None of that would stop him, as much as they tried to. You were the one good thing he had to look forward to every day, the only thing that dragged him out of bed and pushed him through that dingy apartment door.
Simon didn't think today would be any different. He'd finish up his classes, wander around a bit, wait for you to finish classes, watch you go about your daily business, and go home. Unless you did something particularly exciting, neither of you would have an interesting day. Just like him, he noted, you didn't go out too often aside from work. Most people would find that drab, boring maybe, but Simon felt the opposite. The fact that you would be able to understand how he felt only made him want you more. Of course, he wanted to see you happy, but deep down he wished you would be lonely, leaving the perfect hole in your heart for him to fill.
Today, you hadn't stopped to talk to your friends and had instead gotten to class 20 minutes early. Maybe to study, like the good student you were. Maybe you were just bored. Either way, seeing you so early was definitely a pleasant surprise.
Simon's eyes follow you as your footsteps echo in the large room. The place was practically empty - only a couple of other people either studying or lazing around kept him company. As you pass him in the row below, he suppresses the urge to reach out and grab you by the shoulder, to urge you to linger there a bit longer. To keep you somewhere safe and take care of you, to worship you. Shit, stop it. Then you'd really be a weirdo. Seriously, what the fuck is...
"Nice bag."
There you were, standing right in front of him in all your glory, full attention on his eyes.
That was it. Those two words had his heart pounding like a damn drum. Looking into your soft gaze and genuine smile did nothing to remedy this, and he wondered how he'd muster up the courage to say a single thing to you face to face for the first time.
Simon had promised himself he wouldn't ruin a good thing if he didn't have to. As long as you didn't notice him, this game could continue for as long as he pleased, really. But the opportunity was too perfect, as if some divine being had formulated the situation by hand.
"Oh. Thanks."
You flash him one last smile before returning to pull out your notes, smile quickly fading into a focused expression, head tilted just slightly to follow your writing. He can't help the way his eyes linger on your paper, flickering between a book and the lined sheet, fingers delicately positioned to keep the paper still and unwrinkled.
"Uh--do we have..."
"Yeah?" You haven't looked up even though your head's pointed in his direction. You even make the effort to indicate where your attention was when speaking. Wow. How noble.
"Is there a test coming up...or something?"
"Yeah, next week." Your gaze lifts to meet his, brows raised. "You didn't know?"
"Must've forgotten." Simon rests his head on gloved hands, studying the split ends of your hair as you throw him a questioning look. Lost for words, he stares back as he tries to grasp a coherent sentence.
Stop. We're done.
"...Could I borrow your notes for a second?"
Goddammit.
"Sure," You say, quickly turning and adding a final flourish to your writing. His hand nearly touches yours as you reach up to hand him the paper, neat and legible, unlike his own scribbled-in-a-rush notes. "Falling asleep back there?" You chuckle quietly, voice a low hum. "I hardly ever see you write anything."
See 'you'? "Oh, yeah...I just, uh..." Simon's notes look more like doodles of you from the little bits and pieces he has memorized instead of what you had written down. "I don't sleep much at home."
"How come?"
"Couldn't tell you," he mutters. Too busy thinking of keeping you by my side. "I guess the street's loud."
"That's a given. I kind of like it. It's comforting in a way, you know?"
"Yeah, I get it." The sketch he's started is coming together pretty well. You've turned around in your chair completely, giving him a better view of your features when he occasionally looks up during conversation. Only about 5 minutes have passed, but people are starting to file in, including your friends.
"You live around here?" You shift forward slightly. Your nose is perfect. He makes sure to adjust his rendition a bit to match.
"Just down the street. You?"
"A mile away, max. You drive, or...?" He knows exactly where you mean.
"No, walking." Shame creeps up Simon's neck. He should've learned to drive when his mother urged him to.
"Me too. I can't drive yet."
The knot in his chest releases. Safe for now.
As quickly as he can he finishes lightly shading the drawing and leans forward to pass your notes back. You nod at him with a grin, and before he can say thank you, dark, slimy thoughts briefly flash through his head again. For a moment, he considers how easy it would be to stop you on the street by force, to push you down by the neck and persuade you to love him, one way or another. The darkness would be more than enough to keep him from seeing the terror on your face, or the way tears crawl down your cheeks.
Then he thinks about how nice it would be to have you love him genuinely, of your own volition, no strings attached. Just loving him for existing.
The first one would be simpler, but...
"Thanks a lot." His hand shoots up maybe a bit too fast out of gratitude.
"Anytime. Try not to fall asleep too often, yeah?"
just like a silly little rant bc I feel gaslighted sometimes
I seriously hate how like there will be the most bbgist, jaw dropping, toe curling, making me scream without the s, making me giggle and kick my legs in bed as I watch the screen, making me think I'm having a fever because I get so excited to see them on screen character just to go on Tumblr and search up the character x reader to see like almost no posts and the two posts I don't even like because the reader is so y/n coded... Like it makes me so mad bro 😭
