I could see his facial expression through his text, two jet black upward eyebrows pulled to the middle, his round eyes glaring in annoyance at the phone, impatiently. Typical Simon Dominic, or my lovely boyfriend; Jung Kiseok.
I'm still at office, can't escape. It hasn't 5 pm yet.
I typed patiently, knowing that if I get affected by his attitude, this exchanging message soon turning into exchanging glare and words war. And both of us being rock head, the fight could go for days.
Few seconds later, another message came in.
Who the fuck is working in Christmas Eve?
I shook my head in disapproval in his choice of language. Actually today is my last day to work in December, because on Christmas day until 10th of January next year I have my day off which we will spend in Japan for vacation.
Obviously me.
I hit the send button and he's typing another come back.
Geez, do you need a help to print out your resignation letter?
Rolling my eyes as response, even though he couldn't see me. I knew he was enjoying himself for pushing me on this sensitive matters.
We both already talk about this over and over.
How he hates to see me working almost everyday, staying at office for extra hours sometimes. While he can work whenever he wants to, the differences between us usually make him trying to fix things which lead to control my life.
Such as..
You don't need to work.
I can provide for both of us.
You work for shit company.
And the list could goes on and on.
This shit need to stop, babe.
I could hear his 'told you so' tone in his text, but I didn't want to give in easily.
You don't need to be an ass.
I typed, short and clear. Sending my message straight to the point, letting him know that I'm actually pissed.
Sorry, just missing you. It's suck.
There was my Kiseok, from being sassy then lovey dovey within seconds. He scheduled to go back home tonight, after long travelling for his world tour. And being clingy, control freak but lovable himself, he wanted everything go on his command.
He wanted a date night, which absolutely I wanted it too. But it hasn't even 7 pm as we planned to go, yet he already demand me to come around.
I miss you too.
I wonder whose heart won't melt when your boyfriend said he miss you?
Of course you do.
Kiseok and his full confidence were inseparable.
Whatever, I'm still working. Talk to you later 🖤
The sooner I get it done, the better.
Babe, I'm horny.
I almost choked, reading his reply. It made me blush but I knew him better, he did it on purpose to gain my attention. But I'm not buying his joke today, I need to finish my paper so I can see him on time.
"y/n, I'll go home first. Are you okay being alone?" my office mate asked.
"I still need to do this." I gestured at pile of papers on my desk, "need to sort this before holiday."
"Gosh, you're unbelievable. You can finish it after holiday, don't be hard on yourself." She scolded me, I knew that's because she cares.
"I wish I could, but I don't think I can enjoy the holiday if I didn't finish it." I had no choice, I hate being on holiday while leaving so many works to do.
"You, poor thing." She smiled apologetically, "it's only you left in the office, everyone already leaving." She added, still waiting for me to change my mind.
"Yeah, I'll finish in 30 minutes I guess." How I wish it was only 30 minutes left.
"Okay, bye y/n! Be careful!" She waved before storm out from office.
The atmosphere became so quiet suddenly as I realized I was really alone in the office.
Back on my papers and mac, I drowned myself into work for maybe more than thirty minutes, because I could feel uninvited back pain. I leaned back on my seat while checking what time it was, I was right.. it's almost an hour and my work hasn't been done.
Maybe I really need to go home and cuddle with my boyfriend? Guilty feeling creep on me, leaving Kisoek's messages on read, abandoning him for my work.
I sighed in defeated, I need to go home and apologize to him. But when I started to clean up my things and shutdown my mac, the electricity went off out of the blue.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
Did someone plan to kill me? In serial thriller, every murder usually start from electricity went off, murderer with scary mask appears while bringing out a knife.
I'm done.
I'm sorry, baby. I think I'm going to die this night.
The urge to make note to Kiseok and my family to tell them I love them was so strong, I need to make the note before I got killed but I was too scared to move even it's just an inch.
God, please save me. I beg you.. please.
Never ever in my life I prayed desperately like this.
I heard footsteps getting closer and closer to where I was.
Is this time?
I cried silently, trying my best to not making any sounds. But the scary footsteps won't stop until it reached me cubicle, making thud sound as those thick shoes bumped into my desk's leg.
Goodbye, mom and dad.
Just then, the light went on and I could hear familiar chuckle.
"What's with that face, baby?"
When I opened my eyes and looked up, there's Kiseok with his diabetic smile, grinning at me. But now words came out from me.
My mind still processing how come he suddenly here? And what for?
He walked passed my cubicle then kneeled down in front of me who still confused on my seat.
"You really need to stop watching serial killer.." he shook his head the cupped my face, "look how pale my baby, poor you.."
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice cracked due too over dramatic imaginary scene that I created several minutes ago.
He smiled as his hands move to hold my hands and squeezed them gently, "Hmm, let's say it's a suprise Cristmas eve visit?"
"I miss you, you chose work over me." He pouted, then leaned in to give me sweet kiss on the lips which I eagerly to return back in same energy.
We were so busy eating each other face until I heard someone faking a cough, and it's my dad.
"What---" I couldn't pull any words, it's confusing and overwhelming. First it's Kiseok's visit and now not only my dad, but my mom, my friends were also there. They all smiling and I don't know why.
"Right, sorry dad." Kiseok chuckled and gave my Dad thumb up before he looked at me.
"What is happening?" I asked.
He didn't say anything but pulling out small box from his pocket and showed me a beautiful ring.
Is he going--
"Merry Christmas, love.. marry me?" He said his spell, leaving my jaw dropped.
"Oh is that a necklace from him too?" She cut your sentences with another question, she pointed at white gold necklace with Hangul alphabets; Jung, as his family name. It was a gift from him. One thing that she didn’t know, Simon bought you another diamond necklace but you barely touch it. You love this simple necklace best, it’s assuring you that Simon loves you, he wants you to be his. Yes, you still wore his necklace even if you told him to break up with you. You just can’t unlove him, he hurt you but love was still there.
Looking directly at her eyes, you tried your best to not get angry by every single shit that she tried to feed you.
"I think he's rich enough to buy you a diamond necklace just like what he bought for me back then.. instead of those toy.." again, she heartily mocking you, "it could be because he doesn't love you that much? Awww~ poor little girl~ he probably only wants to play and have fun with you~"
That’s it. She had enough, it’s your turn to fight her. Maybe pulling her hair and land your beautiful sharp paw on her face could be appropriate things as respond? You clenched your fist tightly, holding back your anger to not explode in the public. You were inside one of high end boutique and you didn’t want to harm your own pride, dealing with Simon’s unashamed ex-girlfriend. She never worth anything from you.
You looked at her eyes without saying anything then turned back your heel, leaving her dumbfounded on her spot. You walked to the cashier to pay your dress so you bring yourself from her bullshits, you were tempted to punch her but you immediately threw away your thoughts. Violence was never a wise solution to anything.
Was Simon really love her? Was Simon has guts to cheat on you with that kind of girl? You started to doubt your impeachment on Simon. She really has a bad attitude, rude and act like uneducated human. Simon couldn’t be in love again with her, it must be true when he said he only love you. She’s jealous because Simon defends you, if they’re back together she wouldn’t confront you and try to humiliate you. If Simon chose her then why would she act like you’re her rival? That’s the answer. She’s jealous and she wanted you and Simon to be separate.
Just when you handed over your dress to the cashier, you heard a furious step approaching you. You decided to not pay attention as you dug your bag, searching for your wallet to pay your dress. When you succeed to find your wallet, you saw Lady Jane took your dress from the cashier counter and shoved them to you, you caught your dress in fast response and looked at her in disgust. What did the hell she does?
She put a lot of dress in cashier counter and shot a death glare which you didn’t even care, “your cheap dress can wait.” She rolled her eyes and faced the cashier lady, “wrap them for me.” She proudly smirked as she handed her credit card to cashier lady.
And you stood there in urge to strangle her neck inside your mind.
After in a moment, the cashier lady processing her card and said in poker face to Lady Jane, “Your card is cannot be used, Miss.”
She gave another card and the cashier said the same thing, “This one is also cannot be used.”
Then you giggled freely without coercion. What a dumb girl!
“Honey?” your mom peeked in through your door which was jar opened, unintentionally snapping you from your thought about meeting Lady Jane two days ago. Your mom was standing in front of your door with her motherly smile.
“Mom..” you smiled at her.
“Are you okay?” she walked closer to you.
“I’m okay, only my heart isn’t okay.” You chuckled, trying to make fun on your bitterness. You wished the pain goes away but it wasn’t, it’s still there and creating a hole in your heart.
“Did you talk with your dad?”
“Yeah, are you here for talking about it too?”
“No.” she smirked, causing you to raise your eyebrow.
“And then?”
“Just checking my beloved daughter and let her know that Kiseok is here, down stair in the living room.” She ruffled your hair and playfully taped your cheek, your mom always treat you like baby.
So he’s here, he really keep his promise to win you back.
“Mom.”
“It’s okay,, honey. I already told him that you want to be alone, I asked him to leave though. But he promised he will come again tomorrow.” Your mom explained. They said mom is always the best when it comes to understand her children, indeed, your mom is one of the best moms.
She looked at you who didn’t say anything, “Do you want to talk to him?”
“Is that okay?” you found yourself hesitate. Was it the right time to talk to him? You can’t avoid him forever, even if it would have different ending you still needed to talk to him and solve the problem like adult.
“Would you be okay, honey? I mean, I can help you to kick him out if you’re not ready to meet him.” your mom looked worry.
You gave her firm nod before answered in confidence, “I think I’m ready.”
You were sitting on the edge of bed with your fluffy pillow on your lap when you heard whispering voice outside your door. It must be him. You shifted your position and control your breath, calming yourself. Simon should be the one who feel nervous, not you. Five minutes ago you told your mom that you’re ready to talk to Simon.
The door opened and you saw Simon standing few meters from you. He looked skinnier than before, his sharp jaw line became more noticeable, along with his eye bags but it didn’t diminish his charms. And you hate the fact that he still has effect on you.
Both of you locked each other eyes for moments before he murmur, calling you.
“Hey..” his deep voice broke the silence between you and him.
“Why are you here?” you couldn’t help but glared at him, showing your unfriendliness. But Simon didn’t find it offending. He walked slowly approaching you.
“baby..” he called you again this time with the endearment that both of you knew it’s your favorite.
“don't baby me— we broke up.” You cut his sentence, not giving chance for him to show his affection towards you or else you would give in so easily.
You clutched your fluffy pillow even tighter when he reached your spot and sat beside you. His eyes were looking at you and your soul as he speak, “we are not, I didn't say yes on your one side decision.” His voice so calm and not demanding, there’s no hint of anger or displeased tone.
“Then I'm the one who want to break up with you, accept that.” You shot him a death glare before stood leaving your spot, but Simon quickly grabbed your wrist.
He gently spun you to face him and held your shoulder, “NO. We got together by our agreement, we share mutual feeling, and we'd break up when both of us agree to do so, not when you want it by yourself. You're still my girlfriend.” Now he back to his authoritative voice, sending you shiver under his spell.
“Don't be ridiculous.” You discarded your shoulder from his hands, taking few steps backwards. Simon’s expression looked hurt by your response but he didn’t want to give up on you.
“It's because I love you.” He said loud and clear, making your heart jolty.
He noticed you froze on where you stand then approached you, you stood still when he reached your hands and held them firm but in gentle way so you wouldn’t feel hurt. His eyes were searching yours, and once you caught his eyes he began to say, “Listen, baby.. I can't do anything with my past even if I want to. Everything just a past, I'm no longer get affected by them, that's me.. That's what happened with me in the past when I was not your boyfriend. But the most matter from now is us, the present.. you and me. If I want you then it means you, all of you.. I don't want anyone else. It's only you from the beginning and I don't need to choose you than anyone. I need you and I’m nothing without you..”
He pulled you closer and put his arms around your waist, “I swear I didn’t do anything with her, and I already warn her to leave us alone. I told her I love you so she will stop bothering you, I’m sorry for hurting you but I won’t do it again. Give me chance and I’ll prove it to you, baby come on..”
You didn’t say anything but staring at his eyes, there were a lot of emotion hidden there. Part of you wanted to believe him and give him another chance but the other part got scared what if he wouldn’t fulfill his promise and hurt you again. Was he worth for you to fight for?
You put your hands on his forearms and shook your head. No.
Simon’s face change into sour when you pulled yourself away from him, he felt your rejection.
“Tell me how to change your mind?” he murmured when you glimpsed his tears welled up.
“No.” your voice croaked. You wanted to sound firm and cold but your voice betraying you.
He nodded weakly, trying to understand your choice, he knew he hurt you so bad and there’s no room for him in your life. “I know I made a mistake since I’m not perfect.. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you, it will hurt either you or me, love always one package with tears and pain. But I can promise I’ll make it worth, your tears, our pain.. it’s worth it because no matter what will happen, I’ll be there on your side. I can promise you that we’ll make it because I love you. It’s worth it because we have each other.” He paused for a moment before continue, “but I know, not everyone deserve second chance. And I guess that’s me.” He gave you bitter smile then slowly cutting the gap between you and him, now he stood in front of you, “Please be happy, I know I don’t deserve anything from you but please be happy. I wish there’s no more tears on your sparkling eyes.” He slowly raised his hand to touch your face but he stopped when it almost touch your cheek, “I’m so sorry.”
He dropped his hand and walked out from your room, leaving you alone. Once you heard the door clicked as he closed your door from outside, you cried out your sadness from your lungs. Sobbing hard while you hug your knees tightly. You hate him for hurting you, yes you did. But realizing he wouldn’t push you to accept him was really painful. That’s what you wanted but why when he gave it you still feel not happy? It felt thousand times more painful than before.
Simon gave up on you.
He let you go.
He walked away because you told him so.
No. No way! No!
You got up and ran out from your room, climbed down stairs in hurry to chase Simon, “Oppa!” you called him, but when you reach living room you find nothing, except your mom.
“Kiseok already left, honey.” Your mom said in apologetic face, she must feel bad because she saw you cry.
He left?
You nodded in defeated then went back upstairs to your room, you didn’t want your mom watching you cry. He left, Simon left because you didn’t want him back. Your tears won’t stop when you drag yourself to your room, you bit your inner mouth to stop your sobbing.
What you’re going to do now? You cried again and sobbing hard in your way to your room, but then your sob stop when you saw, “Miss me already?” there he was, leaning on the wall beside your door with his warmest smile.
You sniffled lightly while processing what really happened right now, he’s here. Simon was still there, he didn’t leave you. “Oppa—” you looked at him confuse, then you realized your mom lied to you and Simon probably heard you cry like a baby, wailing like crazy.
Simon walked to you with his big grin, he literally couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot, “It’s need fifteen minutes to let you figure it out what you really wanted.” He opened his arms when he stood right in front of you, “And I’m really happy you want me back.” With that, he shared the warmth from his body with a bear hug for you. He hugged you really tight as if you would disappear while you said nothing but buried your face on his chest, enjoying his warmth and his heartbeat. His heart beat so fast and you felt he kissed the top of your head over and over while chanting the words, “I'm fucking love you.”
You felt happy in his embrace, he was right. He might make mistake, you might hurt him too but that’s all relationship about. He’s worth it, so your love for him worth it too. He wants you as much as you want him.
“I know, you love fucking me too.” You mumbled against his chest, hiding your red face when you said that words.
He pulled away to look at your face, “Geez— Can you not—“
“What? You fuck me and you love me. What’s the difference?” you looked at him, challenging.
He shook his head in disapproval then chuckled, “That's not what I mean, you bad girl. Since when you become a pervert like this?”
“But that’s true, you fuck me so many times.” You didn’t care your face was still damp from your tears, screw the drama and the tears, you missed your playful Simon, your Simon.
“Can you just let me be a romantic gentleman instead of imagining dirty things?” he asked you with his horny eyebrows, his face looked annoyed but you knew he’s not upset, he was in his best to resist something from his inside.
“Can you just kiss me already? I miss you like hell.” And he didn’t need to be told twice.
“My pleasure, baby.” Then he slammed his lips to yours like there’s no tomorrow.
