#since she left

[dalgonamilk]

when hyuna left cube could she have taken some of cube's song writers with her

[callmebymyusername]

We’ve had a lot of coffee dates, and it became a personal pastime of ours to buy two venti cups and drink it in the parking lot. I never get why you’d rather drink coffee in a parked car instead of inside the coffee shop, but I also never questioned it. It didn’t really matter as long as I was with you.

But if I’m going to pick one, my favorite coffee memory of us was that impromptu Tagaytay road trip, where you brought me to Twin Lakes for the first time (and later, Caleruega). We talked for hours as you told me stories I’ve never heard before, and I felt special for being privy to your well-kept secrets. I wasn’t in love with you then yet, but I already knew it was inevitable.

A rainy night in August 2018 was my least favorite coffee memory of us. We were in a parking lot again, talking like we used to do, keeping things light and easy. I dropped you off at your place a few minutes before 2 AM, and as I drove off to mine, I was missing you already.

Had I known that that would be our last coffee date, I wouldn’t have dropped you off. I would have kept you until sunrise and beyond; until sunset, midnight, until another downpour.

We haven’t talked to each other since that year, and I went over back and forth in the last two years thinking that what we had meant so much less to you than it was to me. And it sucks that I will never really know. 

[sincesheleft]

Programming Note

It’s been a while, huh? Life is insane, in the past 9 years, i’ve lived in florida, nyc, maine, philly, toured the usa in a traveling show, back to florida, and now texas. Married, baby, more dogs. there’s a lot happening. I still check in on the blog though. Weird thing, someone sent me this link the other day: https://www.instagram.com/sincesheleft/ 

It’s Since She Left on instagram, but it’s not run by me. Frankly i don’t know who runs it. I’m unsure where the writing is coming from, because there’s not many attributions. I’m not really upset that this exists. my wife asked me if i was going to report it. I don’t think i will. imitation is the highest form of flattery, and i don’t want to run a version 2.0 of this blog on IG, though that is a good idea. 

Guess i’m just putting this out there; don’t mistake that ig for being affiliated with this blog, because it’s not. Anyway, i hope you’re doing well. I hope you have identified a dream or a goal, and are pushing toward it. even a little progress is progress. i have always believed in you. -- Until we speak again. 

[captainhancock727]

Thomas James White - Since She Left [ambient classical cinematic]

[sincesheleft]

2016

If you could know how much i have loved you guys, and how much of my soul i truly have put into this blog and how much soul others have poured in over the years then you would realize how it pains me that i write so sparsely in this space. who’s to know what the future brings. Morrissey says that if it’s not love than it’s the bomb that will bring us together. that’s a comforting thought as we drive at a million miles per hour into the vast unknown. do you have someone? do you feel something for someone? you should, you should, and if you don’t then please wait. please keep pushing yourself to better yourself, please keep focusing on who you want to be. when we’re at our best most well balanced self we’ll be able to kind of survey the landscape better and be open to finding someone, or maybe we won’t! you can’t be overly concerned with the who’s and the wheres of your future. right now is so fucking important. are you who you want to be right now, or are you at least doing everything in your power to be that person? please tell me yes. please say love. please speak kindness. please show mercy. please make room in your hearts because nothing matters so much in this world and could you make sense of it anyway if it did? be kind to yourself, but not easy. easy paths always turn out so unrewarding, and you wouldn’t want to finish this life knowing you took the easy path for no reward. 

[ohsayhello]

The girl who always left.

Losing interest after several messages. Not showing up again after the first date. They say I get so damn tired easily, I move from one guy to the next. There's just no pausing, no staying. There was no commitment.

I simply left.

But the truth was, I used to always be the one to stay.

I fought for the relationship when things got rough. I stayed through the thick and the thin, and I hoped and never lost faith despite all the clear warning signs that the relationship was at a dead end.

I stayed for the guys whom they said were only going to cause trouble. I stayed for the guys who said, "I'll be there for you", but the next day or so, they're gone. I remained despite the broken promises and the charred words. I waited for things to clear despite the obvious rough patches. And I fought my way to get things right when clearly, I was the only one left fighting. 

I remained even though I was second best. I stayed despite being the only one who cared. I put his happiness first before mine because what mattered for me was that he was happy, even when I no longer wasn't. 

But things change. And so here I am, the girl who always left. 

I decided to fight for my own because I got tired of being taken for granted. I built my walls around me from the pieces of myself that were left after every heart break. I burned the unnecessary bridges and made sure nobody could crumble me to pieces.I got tired of listening to all the flowery promises and I stopped believing in the rainbows and flowers after all the storm because I've been through a lot. And people get tired.

I used to be the one to stay. And maybe, I won't be that girl anytime soon.

Maybe someday, I'd find that man who would prove me wrong. And I hope, with all my heart, that this time, I would find home. 

[bklynmusicnerd]

Okay but are we even 100% sure that Gunnar is even the father? Kinda seems like Spy Kid wanted to dump the kid off where she could so she could run off with a guy. We may need to call Maury on this one.

[heymikewaskom]

i’m so tired, and i just got back from the gym and i had a shitty workout. found a new one rep max for my bench press, even though I never train bench (tho froning does, so whatev). I watched the godfather 1 and 2 last night and it’s just the saddest movies. i feel alone and tired, and it’s rainy and i’m just a bit sad and hopefully more coffee and advil will chase that away and

and this blog is a thing… i’ve literally just found out about it. Since She Left Favorites.

someone made a fan-tribute blog of their favorite posts. it’s actually a bit touching but it also makes me sad. all those posts are about ghosts. the ghosts of people that used to be in my and Rebecca’s life. the blog is the closet we keep the ghost in.