You are really sweet and we are more alike than anything (short of skin color) and you took your mask off and I’m not sure as to why in the fuck do you work here sir? Go model! Like for real, but you are clearly older than me and I’m irritated because why do you have to be nice! Like if you were an asshole or even stand Offish I would be perfectly fine but
Noooooooooo.
You gotta be all nice and sht. You got to have kindness for everyone and giving me your parking space (even though someone else keeps taking it) you got to joke around and laugh with me. Noooooooo! You’ve got to drink your respect people juice!
Now I think I might like you a lil more than I should. Now I think your dark stubble with a few flecks of grey peppered in looks like a comfortable place to sit. 😎
Now I am pissed!
Go do some sketchy shit or reveal your girlfriend so I can get over it already because I am tired of sucking in my stomach when you come into a room. I am tired of looking up but pretending I am not looking when you come into a room. Hell. I am tired of freaking laughing or over explaining myself because I am so damn nervous to say the wrong thing.
Does anyone else ever feel like they are writing a fic that absolutely nobody asked for, about someone that nobody wanted to read about and nobody is going to read, but you have to get the story out because it’s blocking all the rest of the other ones???
So here we go again. It’s time for Singeramg’s random dreaming! This time it stars EDGAR RAMIREZ!
Believe it or not it was one of the few semi-normal ones or at at least or normal as it could be without being weird.
*TRIGGER WARNING*
The rest of this story may have triggering plots including blood, fighting and attempted suicide, so if this isn’t your cup of tea you may want to skip this.
So it starts off with me being hungry and wanting to get some food before I miss the bus. The people behind the counter forget about my cheese quesadilla and just as they finish it. I miss the bus. In an attempt to catch it I know I can go to the stop. However I have to cut through a Walmart. I walk into a Walmart and the managers who don’t communicate properly both think I am an employee and start yelling at me to do things.
Me being me starts to go ahead and do them but they both get out of control. I am stocking stuff and talking to another employee about how I didn’t even interview. How I don’t even work there.
So I decided to tell the managers to leave me alone and all I wanted was some cereal. They instantly feel terrible and tell me that I could work there if I wanted and they are sorry. They tell me I can take whatever cereal I want.
So I do then I catch up with one of my best friends who is a guy and we are just hanging out while he waits for his wife to finish gymnastics practice. Meanwhile somehow we start taking these courses and talking to people. Surprise, surprise we meet Edgar. People are nice to him, know exactly who he is but give him space. He is really nice, charming and very friendly to everyone but not showing interest in any particular person who shows him obvious interest. However he makes it a point to speak to my friend and I.
The entire time my friend is teasing the shit out of me whenever Edgar isn’t looking and I’m just like “Shut tf Up!!!!” This crush has blown into a sure fire infatuation and like a school girl again I already like planned a wedding (a/n: ugh I know cringe and so high school, but honestly it’s done in jest. I know I don’t stand a chance) but friend is like “would you tell him already. I for one am tired of seeing you mope around.” I’m like “hell no” (irl I am a punk when it comes to expressing my feelings).
So my friend is being an ass (you how your friends do when you like someone) and in the process he takes my little wedding folder and starts waving it in front of me, but like Edgar is at the table behind us laughing his ass off, just watching me play keep away with my friend who is way taller than me. The conversation calms down and Edgar and I are chatting it up about life. We mentioned something, but it leads to both of us saying someone is handsome/cute (can’t remember which) but I’m instantly heartbroken. I put up and good poker face, meanwhile my friend who was letting us talk knows I’m heartbroken watches Edgar leave to go do something else and then says “I knew it. I knew you should have just told him”
I say “what fucking good would that have done me... I actually did the right thing”
“How if you’re heartbroken *Singeramg*” (he said my real name but go with me here)
I make a face and say “clearly I’m not his type.”
Friend: He didn’t say that *singeramg*
Me: oh but he did. I guess I should know better. School girl fantasies about a grown man. If he wanted me he would had said something but nooooooo I had to go waste my fucking time. I knew better. I fucking knew better than this. I’m not in high school. We haven’t been for a long time.”
I toss the folder into the air, some of the loose leaf papers of all the flowery shit I wrote and pictures of dresses and actual pictures of flowers. (Honestly it was more of a wishlist) From behind me I hear
“What is all of this?”
I freeze, panic and turn around Edgar has the damn folder in his hands but he has not opened it. I run over with a huge smile on my face and snatch it.
“Oh nothing just some event planning I am doing for a friend. Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
My friend who is intent on getting me out of this bullshit says “oh really that’s what it’s is now.”
I laugh and roll my eyes.
“Well let me see it then.”
Edgar says and I shake my head. He and I both know I’m lying through my damn teeth. We wait a second before I start backing up and now he’s chasing me around the table. My friend is laughing his ass off and I take off down the hallway. Intent on finding somewhere to shred all evidence that I have a crush on Edgar. He is still following me. At first I come upon a locked shred bin like the ones you put the papers in to secure and then the company shreds it. But then as I am beginning to put the papers there I see him talking with the people who have the keys and I realize this isn’t going to work so I take the most damning of the papers and start running again. He notices and starts chasing me again so I keep going and find myself running into a women’s bathroom. Happy to rid myself of evidence I toss it in the trash.
I realize I’m not alone and this girl from high school. Who I wasn’t good friends with and particularly a happy person irl was standing in the doorway. She is bleeding from the wrists. I panic and offer to get her help. She still has strength enough to toss herself in front of the door. She says she can’t let me out not until she does what she came to do. I am begging her to let me help her.
Eventually she passes out, and I drag her out the bathroom. Her mother’s shop is around the corner so I take her there. Her mother knew she needed help from professionals but was worried about her image. She blames me for daughter trying to commit suicide and she tries to fight me, meanwhile I am attempting to patch her up until the paramedics get there. Her mother tries to fight me along with a girl who works at the shop.
I fight them off and leave, then we go back to try and find my friend and somehow this girls mother has recruited all of these women for a tv show and put them against me. I leave with the intent to never had to deal with anyone again.
I run away to some cabin in the mountains. I hear a voice tell me after while that “I have to go back.”
So I go back. My friend is waiting on me and he is like where have you been we were all worried sick. I told him I was taking some time to clear my head. He laughs and he sits down.
Friend: We know you didn’t have anything to do with Jenny hurting herself. She’s getting the help she needs and her mom is catching hell for lying on you for a spot on TV.
He pulls put a bag of mango pieces.
I take one and they are so juicy and yummy.
Me: Where are they from? They are delicious!
Friend: They are from San Christian , or Columbia something like that.
Me: They are very good.
I take another piece
Friend: they are from where he is from. He said he knew you like them and would be hungry when you got back
I look at him confused
Me: “He who?”
My friend smirks with another piece of mango and points behind me.
I turn around and Edgar is standing there
Edgar: I told you they were from San Cristobal. And I am Venezuelan you jackass.
He says and they both laugh meanwhile I am confused that he would still be here waiting on me to come back.
He pulls out the most damning page of evidence from my folder. My pretend wedding Vows where I end them saying I am so happy and blessing to become Mrs. Edgar Ramirez Arellano and that I love him.
Turns out he retrieved them from the bathroom that I had tossed the pages away thinking he had no way to get them.
Edgar: You really should put them in water next time you don’t want them read.
I laugh and he pulls me into his arms, kissing me.
Probably a post and delete but here’s a short poem or something I wrote. Honestly I don’t know where I’m going with this but I just needed to get it out.
While We Were Crashing
(Please don’t steal this written word)
I tried
When you were broken
I found the glue
Wanted to put you back together while I was broken too
I fell in love with the promise
Seeing you for what you could be
Reading all the signs wrong
Going right
While you were going left
We were crashing
They say hearts can fly
But they never tell you how to land
Crashed into the creek of you
Turns out I should have never got on the plane
Played because I’m different
I’m what the ideal butterfly should be
But you clipped my wings
Stole my oxygen so you could breathe.
While we were crashing
Thank you
The fall was great
Just wished you’d catch me like I imagined you would.
Crushed under the weight of what we could have been.
The thought always chases me around
In the midnight of my mind.
The failed maybes
The field of possibilities burned to ground
The emotions pillaged for fodder
Maybe for fun
My last thoughts
We could have been happy but
You saved only you and didn’t come back for me.
You said you cared
Said it was real
But it turns out
It was only while we were crashing.
A/N
-So I could use some feedback on this. Just tell me what you think. Good? Bad? Awful? Needs work?
I don’t know how I feel and I figured I get out what was blaring in my mind so I don’t cry. Maybe y’all can shed a few for me?
