You Left Me! Chp.20 Good Enough For You!
The steady sound of beeping was the thing that woke Clay up from his sleep.
beeb, beeb, beeb.
Clay tried to open his eyes but shut them tight quickly from the bright light that Clay would later describe as 'Jesus's second coming! ' ( A/N : GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER YOU SINNER!🤺 )
Then the pain struck in. A steady beating inside his head and ribs made Clay groan out loud.
"Good morning...sleepyhead." Someone said next to him.
Clay tilted his head to the right and opened his eyes slowly, he blinked the blurriness away.
On the chair next to him sat George.
Clay lifted his bandaged hand and rubbed his eyes to get a clearer look at the brunette.
George looked like a mess.
His hair was tousled in different directions, stands going left, right, and center. His clothes were dirty and wrinkly. His eyes were red and puffy, fresh tears rolling down them.
Yet...He still smiled.
"How are you feeling?" George asked gently, his hand rubbing soothing circles into Clay's own hand.
"I-I'm-" Clay coughed out.
George grabbed a glass of water from the nightstand next to the bed and helped Clay up, offering the glass of water to him.
"Thanks..." Clay whispered and downed the glass.
"You're welcome" George said and leaned over and pressed the 'call nurse' button beside the bed.
"w-what? Where am I?" Clay asked, confused, and rubbed his forehead where he felt bandages.
George gently took Clay's hand in his "You're at the hospital. You...You got hurt."
Images of the nasty-smelling Alpha played in Clay's mind, George looking scared and him passing out.
Wait! George!
Clay grabbed George's hand quickly "A-are you okay? You didn't get hurt, right?" Clay asked while looking at George up and down.
"Clay-what? I'm fine! What do you mean 'are you okay?'! You got your head bashed open and you're asking if I'm okay?!" George spoke harshly.
Clay chuckled and rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, sorry! Old habit..."
Just then the nurse came in. They checked Clay's vitals and asked a few questions about his memory and health. In the end, Clay had broken a rib and gotten a small concussion on his head.
When the nurse left, the room became silent. Awkwardly so. George just sat in the chair next to the hospital bed fidgeting with the bottom of his hoodie.
The silence reminded Clay of the time after he left George. Everything had been so quiet. Even though Clay had been surrounded by people-that Clay would describe as disgusting from their views on the society-he still thought it was too quiet.
Then he looked at George more. He looked skinny, he had dark eye bags under his eyes, his hands were shaking and he looked, overall, exhausted.
Clay felt guilty.
Every time Clay had spoken to George he would always say he was tired or exhausted. He would complain about how bad his workday was or how he felt like his life was 'not there'
He would be better if you'd stayed.
He would be happy if you had stayed
He wouldn't have to worry if you had just stayed
“...I’m sorry” he whispered and looked down.
“What?” George asked, sounding confused
“...I-I’m sorry, George” Clay said.
George shuffled on the chair he sat “Clay...you don’t need to apologize...not for this”
"No, I...I'm sorry for...well, everything...For leaving you, yelling at you...I'm just...so sorry" Clay murmured
"Clay..."George sighed "I-I'm still a little on edge, you know? I-I mean it's been 8 years, and suddenly, you're just-here." George said and shrugged. "but-Clay..." George gently grabbed Clay's hand in his and looked at him in the eyes. "Don't apologize for protecting me. Don't apologize for loving me...Clay? I-I forgive you." George spoke
Clay felt hollow.
George was too good for him, he always was too good for him.
"You shouldn't" Clay said coldly
"What?"
"You shouldn't forgive me. Do you really know why I left?" Clay asked and looked at George sternly.
"Clay...I-I know what you've said already...b-but you said-"
“Then ask me why, George! Ask me why I left! Go on!” Clay yelled out.
George was quiet for a while. That is...until he spoke
"W-why...Clay? I-I don't understand..." George sounded broken, his eyes getting glassy from tears, yet, he didn't let them fall.
Clay fell silent. He didn’t know if he could tell George. Those brown eyes were filled with emotion Clay couldn’t decipher. It scared him.
"...I-I don't know" Lies
The silence was loud
George's tears fell
"...why do you still lie to me?" George whispered
Clay didn't respond
"...You-you lie, Clay. You lied when you left, you lied to me at the park...and you still...you keep lying to me..." George sobbed
Something snapped...
...Clay snapped
"I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you!" Clay yelled, tears streaming down his face.
"I-I'm so-sorry for no-not b-being e-enough for y-you..." Clay held his head in his hands. His head hurt from crying but he couldn't stop the tears from flowing
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hur-
"...What?...C-clay? W-what do you mean?..." George whispered, looking at Clay like he had just deleted his favorite fanfic. Eyes wide with shock.
“I-I was never enough...for you. That's why I left..."
Clay stared outside from the hospital window. watching as the cars and people went by.
"Y-you were always just so beautiful, smart, kind, funny, sweet and-and just perfect! Y-you could have gotten anyone! And I mean anyone! All the Alphas and betas-and-heck! Even omegas wanted you! I-I was always amazed wh-why'd you choose someone like me. I had nothing special! I-I was nothing special! And-and still! You wanted to-to be with me!"
Clay sobbed out. He curled his fists in the light hospital sheets in a white knuckle grip.
"I-I promised I'd protect you! I p-promised that I'd become strong for you so you wouldn't have to be afraid!" Clay looked up at George.
"But...I failed, I failed you... Y-you were hurt... So, so so so so so so so badly! And- and I wasn't there to protect you! They touched you and did ho-horrible things to you! And I wasn't strong enough to protect you! I needed to become stronger for you! I-I wanted to be strong for you! I promise!" Clay yelled out. Clay hugged himself, his nails digging into his arms making them bleed a little.
"...I wanted to be a person you could be proud of. Someone you're proud to be with..."
Then his arms were ripped open and a warm body was against his. A hand was combing through Clay's hair and another one was hugging him tightly.
"You did so well, Clay. I'm so proud of you." George whispered gently.
Clay wrapped his arms around George and sobbed into his chest. George cooed at him and rocked them both side to side.
Clay felt safe. In the past 8 years, he hasn’t felt this safe.
Not when he was surrounded by people he trusted with his life, nor when he was holding a gun at his hip, no, right here. In George’s arms. Clay felt safe.
The two hugged for a while. Clay let out his frustration and fear while George just hummed and purred, letting out his calming scent to help the sobbing alpha in his arms.
After Clay's sobbing turned into quiet sniffles, George spoke...
"Clay? Look at me." Gently, George lifted Clay’s chin so they were closer together,
Clay hummed and looked at George through puffy eyes.
“Clay, listen to me closely, okay? I’ve never ever in my life been disappointed in you, Clay. All those times you thought that you weren’t enough? Were the times I questioned if you were too good for me, idiot.” George spoke gently, giving Clay a small chuckle.
“...I always thought that you were handsome, strong, kind, smart and the funniest person I’ve ever met...You were always enough for me Clay. Even though you weren't there to protect me when it happened, you were thereafter! You were there to comfort me, to wipe my tears away, and told me that it was going to be okay. You were there to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and held me close so I could fall asleep. You were there to make me food when I didn’t eat. You were there to calm me from my panic attacks, to love me, to hold and cherish me, You were there! You protected me, remember?” George asked while gently caressing Clay’s cheek.
Clay nodded his head slowly. Leaning into George’s hand.
"You were always, more than enough for me, Clay. You were my everything." George whispered.
"...C-can I h-hold you?" Clay asked sadly.
"Of course" George answered
That's how the rest of the evening went. Clay held George close and reassured himself that he was-no...he had been enough for George. That the insecurities screaming inside his head were wrong...and because he listened to them? He lost George.
Clay's mind started to spiral into what if's when Clay's phone lit up on the nightstand and his ringtone echoed in the hospital room.
Clay quickly and carefully took the phone from the stand, so he wouldn't wake up the sleeping omega in his arms.
Clay looked at the contact, smiled, and clicked 'answer'.
"Hey, man! How ar-"
"Don't you fucking start with me Clay! I was worried sick you bastard!" The voice yelled from the other side of the screen, making Clay wince.
"I'm sorry, Nick. I'm okay. I'm at the hospital at the moment."
The line was silent for a moment. And then-
"YOU’RE AT THE HOSPITAL!? WHY!?" Nick yelled
Clay chuckled at his antics "I was at the park with George when an Alpha tried to harass George, got into a fight, and how I'm here"
"Fuck, Clay...you scared this living shit out of me...Is George okay?" Nick exhaled loudly
"Yeah, he's okay."Clay said fondly and rubbed small circles into George's back.
"He's with you...right?" Nick asked
"Yeah..." Clay smiled
"Okay. That's good...Um...Clay?"
Nick spoke quietly
"yeah? wassup?" Clay shifted a little.
"Can you do me a favor?"
