AIO for divorcing my husband after he messaged friends about being interested in another woman?
I looked at my husband’s messages. (Yes I know this is bad in itself but I had reasons to be suspicious.) We’ve been married for five years. I discovered he sent at least six separate messages to friends bragging about flirting with and wanting to do sexual activities with one particular much younger coworker over a period of 6 months. He did not say he did anything — just that he wanted to and that he thinks she is interested in him.
An example of some the messages: "Sarah is looking pretty hot. She's been flirting with me. I think she wants to \[sex act\]. I'm going to \[do sex act\] with her in the back of the warehouse."
We are in our 40s and this coworker is in her 20s. I have never met this woman and he is not eager to bring me around his coworkers in general.
I have no evidence that he is messaging this coworker directly or has actually cheated. He does follow her on Instagram. I can’t definitively tell if he is just blowing off steam and bragging or posturing to other men in group chats — or if this is a real problem. I’m planning on divorcing him. He doesn’t know yet. Am I overreacting?
Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (100% confidence)
Top comment: “NOR but I'm going hazard a guess that 'Sarah' has no clue about any of this and your husband is just talking nonsense to his friends. Either way is not great and disrespectful. Of course, he could be planning on cheating. Who knows for sure. But his messages are enough for you to divorce out of disrespect alone.”
Notable explanation: “NOR. It doesn't matter that you don't think he's done anything physical with her yet, and it wouldn't even matter if he was just posturing for his male coworkers. The fact of the matter is even just saying these things to his coworkers, let alone actually flirting with the woman, is disrespectful to you, to your marriage, your life together, and breaks the promises he made to you when he married you. Do not allow yourself to minimize what he has done to you. This is absolutely 100% grounds for divorce. A man who says these things does not respect you. Even if you were to forgive him for these transgressions, there will always be a part of you that wonders where his eyes will wander next. That's no life to live. Respect yourself enough to leave. You deserve a soft, trusting, loving partner, and as long as this creature takes up the husband slot, you will not have space to allow that other person to enter your life.”
Originally shared by Frequent_Band_5632 on r/AmIOverreacting on January 7th, 2026 at 5:01 PM UTC. Credit to u/Ready-Zombie5635 and u/hail_seitan269 for the quoted comments.