My list.
So today I made a list…
A list no person finds joy in making.
I listed all things that make me unlovable,
The things I need to change.
The list grew until I was in tears
When I realized,
All along it was me.
The negative attitude,
With demands unfair and one sided.
Unnecessary mood swings,
Grudges held,
Irrational attitude.
Inability to communicate
With lack of self esteem
And emotional damage.
That close off my ability for intimacies.
Sins of my past left unconfessed
Taint my present in underlying moments.
Damaged goods
Wrapped in strength that hides
All the scars life has left on me.
Covered in sin.
Today I made a list…
That left me in tears.
The baggage of my past
And the person I became.
The good and bad no longer matter.
This person is not who I was meant to be.
Changing by a Saviors Grace
This list cannot mix with the change
I desperately seek.
Surrender is all I have left,
Surrender to Grace and Mercy
1/23/19
