#sithis bless

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monsieur Valtieri is the only living (well, technically undead, but still) person in the Brotherhood who can berate Lucien without immediately getting shanked in the ribs. after all, he’s like a father to him and every now and again a caring dad must scold his child for doing dumb shit, even if that child is over 30 and the Boss

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SIR. you, wonderful human being, who created the Dark Brotherhood that i love and cherish and believe to be my long lost family to this day, who gave me the opportunity to know Lucien Lachance and Vicente Valtieri and Ocheeva and all the others... Sithis’s blessings upon you, sir. and a big thankyouverymuch

HOWEVER

murdering Lucien still wasn’t necessary

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lemme tell y’all a story

y’know... back in ye oldie days of me playin’ oblivion for the first time (well, first proper time, since i tried and abandoned said game a few times before because it was weird to me believe it or not) i was your typical goodie two shoes. i was the hero who saved the day, never stole anything, never killed an innocent man, never broke the law and generally just tried to be as righteous and honorable as possible. needless to say i completely missed the Thieves Guild and the Dark Brotherhood by the time i “ran out” of quests to do.

well, to make long story short, i was utterly unprepared for the Dark Side of oblivion. it all started with the Sirens quest, which progressed as you’d expect with nothing really going out of hand... until that Faustina lady tried to shank me at that farmstead at the very end of the quest. for some reason up until the moment she attacks you the game considers her an innocent person, so when i in my panic attacked her the moment the dialogue ended and killed her in one swing i saw that blood-chilling message at the top of the screen, that someone was watching me commit a murder. i shit you not i was livid. me, the heroic rpg character, committed a murder?! how is this even a murder when she was the one who went at me?! well, there was no bounty on my head so i just left and forgot everything that happened. until a level up and a mandatory sleepy time.

y’know what i did when mister You-Sleep-Rather-Soundly showed up? i screeched in horror, because that mofo jumpscared my ass, i got the creeps all over me ‘coz he called me a murderer and then offered me to kill some dude, i was so fucking disturbed because i never thought those rumors the npcs were talkin’ about some Brotherhood-thingie were anything significant. and then he just poofed out of existence, leaving me speechless and with a weird ass quest. and the Black Door at Cheydinhal? i found that shit real early in the game and i was so fuckin’ scared i quicksaved every few steps on my way to that creepy ass door and then when nothing happened i bolted like my ass was on fire and hoped to never-ever see that bitch again! of course i absolutely failed to deduct the link between the rumors and said door and continued my adventures blissfully unaware that the DB truly existed.

needless to say, i didn’t do his quest for a looong time. i only decided to give it a shot after i couldn’t find any more quests to complete and well, the rest, as they say, is history. ‘tis been 10 years since and i still remember how utterly scared shitless i was when this creeper in black popped outta nowhere!

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Posts: 80 Followers: 80 Me: *gets oddly satisfied*