#skip divorce

[fixielixie]

shane finding out about the skip divorce and using it as inspiration to do divorce roleplay with ilya ‘hey so what if we had a really messy divorce but we can’t stay away from each other so u use ur keys to sneak into our house after i kicked u out and fuck me while i’m asleep to remind me that ur still my husband’

[grabmyboner]

ilya and shane hearing about the skip divorce and ilya is like “i always knew they would never last. they were not compatible.” and shane sucks his dick because he used the word compatible and it that’s like a sleeper agent call for shane to suck dick on command and then after he’s done sucking dick like the split second after he swallows he’s like “yeah they were always gonna get divorced.”

[jewishmomdean]

in skipdivorce kip is well adjusted, using his alimony to travel and reconnect with friends he hasn’t seen in years and scott is renting an extravagant penthouse apartment and eating rotisserie chicken off the bone and putting newspaper on the windows a la the substance

[shaneposting]

anyway hollanov divorce roleplay that at some point devolves into them just trying to one up each other

'get out. you know you shouldn't be here. it's been six months-'

'wow. six months already. guess time flies when you're having fun'

'this is your idea of fun, is it? getting kicked out of clubs and tattooing my name on your ass while you were drunk?'

'who told you that? every time i fucked one of your teammates i told them to keep that a secret'

'my teammates kept your secret just fine. your teammates, however-'

'ah, you could not get off with my team unless you were talking about my ass. i am flattered, hollander'

'i couldn't get off at all, actually. whole team had this sad vibe to it. it's hard to be sexy when you haven't made the playoffs since hockey was invented'

'the sad vibe was because they missed me. you see, i was busy marrying sveta in las vegas'

'i know. it was before our divorce officially came through. i've reported you for bigamy and they're gonna revoke your citizenship'

'jesus christ shane'

'sorry was that too much'

'no, is fine. i will hide from immigration with these nice people i have formed a throuple with. you might know them, they are called yuna and david-'

'GROSS'

[smokey-ilya]

okay but what if divorce is the one thing ilya doesn’t play about so when shane comes home with News about scott and kip, thinking he’s about to make ilya’s day, he’s absolutely flabbergasted when ilya is nothing but serious and concerned. “no, what? this cannot be. what happened? what did hunter tell you?” “jeez, i thought you’d find this entertaining… make a joke about scott being a divorced dinosaur or something” “divorce is not a joke, my lyubimyy, now please tell me what he said”

[perlukafarinn]

fully on board with a skip divorce, it would be much more fun to me than what they have going on in canon. MY ideal direction is they stay divorced and it gets really ugly and there's at least one public meltdown but also you could take it in a romcom direction a la the 1930s screwball comedies of remarriage

[autistic-shane-hollander]

Skip is like the only ship I like that I will even entertain a permanent divorce arc for.

A) because you can not convince me Scott came out for himself in the Game Changer book timeline.

B) They met in January of 2017, and Scott came out in June. They'd only been together for six months at that point. Scott just came out to someone other than kip maybe a week before he came out publicly.

C) Scott had never dated ANYONE at all before he dated Kip.

D) I'm fully convinced Kip never fully understood the potential repercussions of Scott coming out, including the fact that Scott would be even more famous than he already was.

E) (wow) Even before Scott and Kip got married, they were already in the eyes of the public after the kiss. And their relationship would be under a lot of public scrutiny. Imagine what people would say if they broke up just a month later. hell imagine what people would say about them getting divorced.

F) In the book, Kip is Sooo against Scott spending money on him that their lifestyles would eventually clash. which ACTUALLY MAKES THOSE POSTS WHERE AFTER THE DIVORCE KIP ACTUALLY USES HIS ALIMONY TO GO ON VACATIONS AND WHATEVER SO JUICY

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Re: Skip divorce, there was a comment on the OG divorce post about people assuming that Hollanov are The Problematic Couple who are For Sure going to implode while Hollanov are going 'Fuck No we *bled* for this'. And I loooooove the idea of The Public speculating on how long Hollanov's relationship is going to last, meanwhile everyone else at least goes through Very Public Rough Patches if not ending up going through divorce. So maybe Hollanov *are* a little superior about their relationship, but also! Maybe they've earned it!!

THEYVE LITERALLY EARNED IT!!! AND IVE ALWAYS SAID THIS!!!! THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS FORGED IN FUCKING FIRE, Y'ALL!!!!

This au also dovetails perfectly into my hc that hollanov are those judgemental queers that get all sniffy about other people's gay relationships who didn't have to 'face adversity' to be together,,, they've both got competition kinks, of COURSE they're competing against other couples!!! And by god they're fucking WINNING