Pairing: Alec Ryder/Ellen Ryder, Jaal Ama Darav/Skylar Ryder
Rating: Teen
Summary: Eight hundred years after leaving the Milky Way Galaxy, Ellen Ryder wakes up
Notes: Skylar and friends have already passed on at the start of this fic. There is an euthanasia mention near the end of the fic.
#
“Phoenix Speaks:
Within this urn of stillness
I slumber in deep sleep
Awaiting brave Helios
to warm my gentle ashes
Igniting the flame within my soul
once again I fly to the heavens”
― Ramon Ravenswood, Icons Speak
Andromeda - year 2999 Earth Time
Ellen wakes with a start, her heart racing, and reaches for a hand that isn’t there.
She hurts, oh fuck, she hurts. She needs more pain meds. “Alec?” she croaks, her throat burning from what she will later learn is disuse. If Alec is in the room with her, he’ll make sure the nurses give her more pain meds. She’s going to die within the next couple of hours, after all. The least they can do is make sure she’s not uncomfortable. “Alec?”
There’s no answer.
Even though she’s too tired to be worried, she’s worried. He promised. Alec promised he would be by her side until the very end. I’ll be here until you take your last breath. That’s been her one fear, throughout all of this: that she’ll pass on without anyone by her side.
thievinghippo replied to your post “I am in a really terrible headspace that I can’t get out of. Anyone...”
Skylar loves to color and finds it incredibly relaxing. Jaal doesn't understand the appeal at first, but then he tried it. So now people find them in the cargo bay coloring, and everyone else joins in once in a while.
I love this! What kind of things do they color? Does Skylar have some coloring books she brought from the Milky Way? Who’s the “best” at coloring? Can angara hold pencils?
theherocomplex replied to your post “I am in a really terrible headspace that I can’t get out of. Anyone...”
Cora is once awakened in the middle of the night by music blasting from the cargo bay. When she investigates, it's Liam and Gemma having a dance party to "Ra Ra Rasputin", because they have an ongoing competition as to who knows the most old Earth songs.
Does anyone ever win this competition? What do the aliens think of this odd human behavior? What are Gemma’s and Liam’s favorite songs to dance to?
Summary: Jaal's family comes to Meridian, ready to ask questions and get some answers about the relationship between Ryder and Jaal.
Notes: Finally throwing out some Andromeda fic. Yay! This is for @theherocomplex because we finally share a ship again! <3 And just a note, there are end-game spoilers here, so tread carefully if you haven’t finished the game yet.
#
“Tell me true. Does my son satisfy you sexually?”
Ryder stills, a cup of tea halfway to her mouth, at Sahuna’s question. “Umm…” she says as a way to try to stall from answering, or better yet, not acknowledging the question at all.
This is supposed to be a relaxing lunch, a chance for Ryder to spend some time together with Sahuna. Now that Jaal’s family took the time to come to Meridian, Ryder cleared her schedule as much as possible. She and Sahuna sit in her father’s old quarters in the Hyperion, listening to music while eating an actual home-cooked meal. But instead of enjoying her salad - with actual greens from Elaaden - Ryder wants to be anywhere but here.
“Oh, how your cheeks redden,” Sahuna says, delight in her voice. “Jaal told me about the human blushing, but I never expected to see it myself.” She sets down her fork next to her plate and looks right at Ryder. “Now, why are you embarrassed?”
Another question which makes Ryder want to find a hole and let it swallow her up. She takes a breath, and tries to remind herself about the differences in human and angaran culture. “Sex isn’t something we-” Ryder stops herself to take another breath. Why is remembering to breathe suddenly so difficult? “Something that humans talk about in public.”
Especially with your boyfriend’s mother…
“I have made you uncomfortable,” Sahuna says at once. “Please forgive-”
“No, it’s fine,” Ryder says, forcing herself to make eye contact with Jaal’s mother. She might want to be anywhere else right now - the middle of a kett base sounded great - but she’ll get through this conversation if it kills her. “I’m assuming that’s a common question for angara?”
Sahuna nods, picking up her fork, which she then happily spears into a vegetable. “It is. Sex is an important part of many relationships. Not all, of course. But from what Jaal has told me, though, I’m to understand that it’s an important part of yours.”
Ryder tries not to slouch in her chair as Sahuna looks at her expectantly. “I’ve no complaints on that front, honestly,” she says, hoping her answer will end the line of questions and she can go back to her salad in peace. Maybe bring out the pie she and Jaal made last night in the Hyperion’s galley. A poor imitation of a chocolate mousse pie, but better than nothing.
“No complaints?” Sahuna says, and Ryder could hear disappointment lacing the woman’s voice. “Does that mean there is no praise?”
Where are the damn Remnant when she needs them… “No, of course not,” Ryder says quickly, folding her hands in her lap, willing herself not to stare at them. The absolute last thing she should be thinking about is Jaal and bed and praise. Not here. Not now.
“I did not realize humans could turn that shade of red.”
“We can,” Ryder says, her voice inching higher. “We most definitely can.”
Sahuna leans forward in her chair, clearly waiting for a more detailed answer. “So Jaal…”
“Yes,” Ryder says, swallowing down her embarrassment and fear. Think like an angaran, she tells herself. An angara wouldn’t think twice about such an inquiry. “He very much satisfies me.” She says nothing more, hoping beyond hope that Sahuna doesn’t request any specifics.
A smile, showing all of her teeth, crosses Sahuna’s face as she claps her hands together once. “Oh, that is so good to hear. A mother does not need to know more so let us continue to enjoy this delightful meal.”
“Right,” Ryder says meekly, trying to concentrate on her food. But her mind keeps wandering to the question Sahuna asked and just why she made such an inquiry.
Jaal better have some answers…
#
He did not expect to get back this late.
For most of the day, Jaal’s been wandering around Meridian with his siblings, reveling in being reunited with his family once more. They will be gone in less than a week, when the Tempest goes off on another assignment, but he pushes those thoughts aside, determined to enjoy the time they have together.
And now that the hour is late, it is time to enjoy his time with Ryder.
He palms the console outside her quarters - or as she keeps saying, her father’s old quarters, as if they are not hers now by right - and lets himself inside. The lights are dim and Ryder is curled up under a blanket in their bed.
The corners of her lips turn upward as their eyes meet. Once, he believed this woman to be emotionless, with little more feeling than a Remnant. Now, he knows better, knows this small smile she sends his way is full of happiness, and more importantly, full of love.
Love for him. Jaal is truly the luckiest of all men.
He walks to the other side of the bed, ignoring the fact that he should go to the refresher to brush his teeth and oil his skin. “Love of my life,” he says, scooting forward so that his chest is flush against her back. He places a hand on her stomach and adds, “Temptress of my loins…”
Ryder turns onto her back, the smile gone from her face. Has he said something to upset her? He tries to think of what might make her smile disappear. Did they not message enough today? Did she think he ignored her while he spent time with his siblings? Did he-
“Why did your true mother ask me about our sex life today?” she asks.
Oh.
Oh.
“She did?” Jaal asks, sitting up, already feeling the loss of her skin from beneath his palm. He did not expect this, not yet. But perhaps he should have. After all, less than three months ago, he kissed Ryder for the whole galaxy to see. Of course his true mother took that as a sign of commitment, especially when he told her more than once that Ryder fiercely guards showing her feelings in public. “I see…”
Ryder lifts her chin, and a look of suspicion crosses her face. It’s subtle, a furrow of the brow and purse of her lips, but it is there all the same. “What aren’t you telling me?
She reads him so easily. Most of the time, it’s humbling, but at this very moment, it’s maddening. To give himself a chance to stall, Jaal pats his lap. An invitation. When they are alone, as far as he is concerned, they cannot be close enough.
Without hesitation, Ryder sits up and settles herself in-between his legs, leaning back against him. The trust she shows him… Stars, he loves her so much.
But now there is no more time to stall. Now he must speak. Jaal is unsure why he’s nervous. She loves him. He loves her. He’s as certain of that as he is there are stars in the sky. Yet this is different somehow. Different in a way he doesn’t understand.
“When two angara care for each other as we do, it is customary for the family to become involved,” Jaal says, leaning forward, resting his chin on her shoulder. Because of the ends of his tendrils on his chest, it is an awkward position. But less awkward than if he wasn’t close. “The family asks questions to ensure that the match is sound. It is called the tavoan.”
Ryder says nothing and for longer than Jaal likes, the only sound in the room is of the two of them breathing. “So your mother could tell you to end things with me if I didn’t answer right?” she asks and Jaal hears an unaccustomed uncertainty in her voice.
“There are no right or wrong answers, my darling one,” Jaal says before pressing his lips against her shoulder. “My mother adores you, almost as much as I do, though in a very different way. I cannot imagine she would ever be against our courtship.”
“So tavoan means courtship?” Ryder asks. Even though he cannot see her face, he can hear the smile in her voice.
He chuckles, letting out a hint of bioelectricity through his palms. She shudders against him, as he knew she would, giving Jaal a chance to hold her closer. “More like, an exploration of a trusted relationship. But courtship will do.”
“You want to court me?”
“That I do,” he says, though the truth is he’s been courting her for a long time, even before he first took her to meet his family. “And I want you to court me.”
Ryder turns quickly, swift enough he cannot stop her. Resting back on her knees, she studies him. “How?” she asks, the word eager enough to cause his chest to tighten in happiness. “What do I need to do?” She bites her lip, looking away. “Unless you’d rather not tell me. Should I look this up?”
She is so close. So close. Jaal finds he cannot resist the temptation any longer. So he leans forward, kissing Ryder gently on the lips. She kisses him back, just as softly, and for one perfect moment, there is nothing in the galaxy except the two of them.
But then she breaks away, ending their galactic solitude. “So the tavoan?” she asks. “What exactly does it entail?”
That is his Ryder, always wanting to know the specifics so she can plan. Jaal strives for now, for the moment, but she hardly seems to ever be able to let herself do the same. With the Initiative depending on her, he understands, and treasures those moments when she is firmly in the present with him.
“For an angaran, there are five aspects of self,” Jaal says. He’s not thought of this since the revelation of the Jardaan, the species that created the angara. Did they program this belief or is it something his people discovered on their own as they strove to find their place in the universe?
Ryder has her omni-tool out but Jaal grabs her hand instead. “Hey,” she says with laugh. “I wanted to take notes.”
“I hardly think notes are necessary,” he says, bringing her hand to his lips. “Surely you can remember five things?”
“Now you’re just teasing,” she says.
“Never,” Jaals says, pressing his lips against her wrist, against her pulse. It is a sacred spot, where he can feel the blood flowing through her veins. “The five aspects of self are sexual, emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. A relationship should be compatible in all five if there is any hope to last.”
His mind thinks back to the only other time he would even have considered a tavoan, with Allia. Even then he knew it would never have worked. Sexually and physically, yes. They were quite compatible there. Everything else felt stilted, especially emotionally. So when his elder brother arrived, Jaal was not surprised when things ended quickly.
But Ryder? Jaal never dreamed that he could find a match so perfect for himself. The only aspect he sometimes worries about is mental compatibility - she is so bright and quick and his education so spotty - but he’s never felt lesser. Ever.
“So your true mother is going to ask me more questions?” she asks.
“Not just my true mother,” Jaal says, thinking of the coming days ahead. His family, his beautiful family all coming together to support him and the woman he loves. It is as if he is dreaming, though he knows he is awake. “Other members of my family will ask questions as well.”
She seems to consider his words. Then with a tilt of her head, she asks, “My mother-”
Jaal puts his index finger on her lips, thinking of Ellen Ryder. Ryder almost always becomes melancholy when she thinks of her true mother and this is not the time. Now is a time for joy, and for each other.
“You are human, Ryder,” Jaal says. And he is glad she is. If she was angara, she would not be Ryder, the love of his life. “I understand that your ways are different. You do not need to conform for me.”
Perhaps Ryder agrees, he thinks as she takes his hand and puts his finger over his own lips. “I’ll figure something out,” she says quietly. Or perhaps she doesn’t. “I don’t want you missing out on something important because I’m human.”
A promise is in her voice and it makes his heart sing, that she is willing to go to such lengths for him. “I do not want to add to your stress-”
“There’s no stress,” she says lightly, kissing him quickly on the lips. “If your family is willing to ask me awkward questions, the least I can do is have my family do the same.”
“You are amazing,” he says and it is one of the truest things Jaal’s ever said, on par with I love you.
“Yeah?” she says, pressing herself against him. Her eyes are a promise and Jaal breathes in quick as her tongue darts out and wets her lower lip, already anticipating the pleasure ahead for them both. “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.”
Jaal watches Ryderwalk towards the Remnant console and the taste of fear clings to the back ofhis throat. Yet he does nothing as she reaches out and places her palm on theinterface, only watches. He cannot ask her not to try, as that is asking hernot to be herself, not to be the woman he fell in love with.
So his eyes neverleave Ryder even as he hears the sound of ships waking, of the armada that shehas impossibly raised. She makes a speech, and he is grateful that she is nowalert and speaking clearly, not like earlier in the base, when all she did wascling to a Remnant console muttering, “We need to get back.”
Then there isnothing more to do except get on the ship. Jaal starts to walk to Ryder, tooffer an arm to hold, an ear to listen, something.But Lexi cuts in front of him and places her hand at the small of Ryder’s back,escorting her into the ship.
All Jaal can do isfollow them. Lexi is taking scans with her omni-tool even as they walk. Ryderis doing her best to keep up but he sees how her steps aren’t quite as long,her shoulders sagging slightly.
She is hurting andit is killing him.
Jaal doesn’t askpermission as he slips into the medbay, watching silently as Lexi helps Ryderonto one of the medical beds. As Lexi walks to her desk, Ryder meets his gazewith a stern look of her own.
“Brooding in thecorner, Jaal? Really?” Ryder asks as she props herself up on her elbows. “I’m fine.
He opens his mouthto answer when Lexi says, “You are not fine. Being disconnected from SAM likethat should have killed you.”
“And yet here Iam.”
He doesn’t want tothink about Ryder dying, especially not in front of him, so he walks to the bednext to her and sits on the edge. Her fingers are tapping the bed and Jaalknows she wants to get out of the medbay to start prepping for the fight. Heshould be doing the same, contacting Evfra to ensure that the resistance isthere to help claim Meridian from the Kett.
Yet he stays nextto Ryder.
“Well, I’m notseeing any permanent damage,” Lexi says and Jaal’s heart unclenches in relief.“I’d prefer you to get some rest before we reach Meridian, but I know thatwon’t happen. Just try not to exert yourself too much, please.”
“No promises, Lexi,not when we’re this close,” Ryder says as she stands up. Jaal loves that shedoes not lie to Lexi, does not try to placate her with false promises. Shesimply tells the truth.
“If that headache Iknow you have gets any worse, I can give you some pain meds,” Lexi says.
Ryder shakes herhead. “I need to stay clear for this.” She looks up at Jaal. “Come on, let’stalk strategy.”
Jaal follows herout of the medbay. Once the door closes behind them, he checks to see if anyoneis in the hallway. It is clear, and he takes Ryder’s hand. She tenses slightlybut it gratifies him to see that she does not look around to see if anyone iswatching.
They walk into herquarters and once they are safely alone, he holds out his arms. A sense ofsafety, of security washes over him as she wraps her arms around his waist,resting her head on his shoulder.
The term rabaon floats in his mind. Those whoshare souls and find each other life after life. There are times Jaal thinks itmust apply to Ryder, she is that precious to him. But what of his past lives?He thinks of those men and women and wonders if they felt incomplete somehow,all because their rabaon was asleepfor six hundred years, crossing dark space to finally find him.
As he strokes herhair, he does not say that he worried for her, that he felt scared and helplessas he watched her work the Remnant without SAM. Ryder knows for she knows hisheart as well as he knows hers.
Jaal lifts her chinwith a finger and takes a moment to look into her dark green eyes. They arebeautiful, even when they are shaped so differently from his own.
There is so much hewants to say but the truth is, he is tired, and cannot find the words. So heleans down and kisses her, gently at first. But then her arms tighten aroundhim, her fingers digging into his waist.
Matching herpassion with his own, his tongue slips into her mouth while his arms bring herin as close as possible. He is certain they will never be close as he wouldlike, but Jaal decides then and there that Ryder is his rabaon, and sharing souls will work instead.
They are bothbreathing heavily when the kiss ends. Jaal keeps his arms around her as herests his brow against hers. “I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you, too,”Ryder says and his heart thrills to the words. She loves him. “We better get to work.”
Jaal takes both herhands and brings them up to his lips. She is still wearing gloves, but it’s thegesture that matters. “I’ll be in the tech room,” he says. He does not wish tobe parted from her right now, but they both have calls to make, people to reachout to.
“I’ll be here. Ineed to contact the Nexus,” Ryder says, squeezing his hand. Such a littlegesture, but it means everything to him.
Jaal nods, thenwalks out of her room, the room he considers more and more to be his as well.Once the door closes behind him, he starts to climb the stairs, his purposebefore him.
Ryder wants help tocapture Meridian? He will make sure she has an army like no other.
