The mandatory check on me being alive :D
Have some photo bashing of my creepypasta/slenderverse sona! The normal version was made with care, love and a lot of careful blending that can't be appreciated after applying threshold. The proxy version was made in between procrastination sessions and my studies, so I don't like it as much, but it's still really creepy!
Used my photos, pinterest and all Krita filters possible
Now for the rants
I haven't been checking my feed for about two months, I'd say. I'm currently studying for my uni exams and fighting intense impostor syndrome every time I look at my works. You could memorize formulas for math, dates and names for history, terminology for social studies or rules for languages. It all boils down to knowing the topic and answering the questions under written requirements. Even a literature exam, as vague as it is, has guidelines. It's divided by time periods, genres, it has its own terminology.
Art has none. At first it was freeing to know that I'm basically only restricted by laws of physics of the items I'm drawing. But then I look around, I see people that create masterpieces in 3 to 7 hours (6,5 h is the maximum you get on the exam itself) while I can barely draw a cube. I feel myself getting better, but I still take twice as long.
To be fair, most of the students there have previously studied in art schools since childhood, and I haven't. I'm learning as I go. I had to be taught that, if a cube stands sideways, its edges can't be just straight. It's painfully obvious, yet for years I hadn't realised it before that moment.
I don't know what's gonna happen in less than two weeks. I don't know if my skill is enough, if I'm gonna finish in time. I don't know what I would do if I didn't pass.
But I hope I find the right therapist after this, because I have the worst thoughts under all this stress. :)
Take care of yourselves out there! 🍄
