The tv show Dexter is my Roman Empire
I absolutely fucking love the show Dexter and its title character but I’m on my rewatch and ooooohhhh my gosh it pisses me off so bad especially with knowing everything that comes next. And you wanna know why? Because Dexter Morgan was done a terrible disservice. And look I know you have to have conflict to have a show and I love it for the complexities I’m probably reading too far into but its so frustrating to see it all go down. Which if your like me is how you get sucked into wanting Dex to come out on top and get his justice but then New Blood comes in and wakes you up and you’re like left like …. whoa.
* Disclaimer: this is my personal interpretation of the character of Dexter Morgan in the tv show Dexter, I am in no way a licensed therapist or psychologist but I am neurodivergent and diagnosed with Borderline Personality (potentially ADD and OCD but we’ve yet to explore those in full) and my view is heavily influenced on my own experiences with mental health. This is also not a “oh we should give all bad people a chance” post this is on Dexter specifically thanks *
Before I started my rewatch I was always on how Dexter frequently expresses that he has no emotions or does not have the typical range someone who’s “normal” would. He often thinks on emotionally difficult situations as trivial and he cannot put himself in someone else’s shoes. But he is not void of emotions. He very clearly cares for Debra, Rita, and his children. When Brian is a threat to Deb’s life he is incredibly protective of her, when he’s forced to kill Brian it so visibly upsets him, going through therapy and coincidentally unlocking painful memories, Brian’s death leading to a nervousness that hurts his ability to kill, the pain of losing Rita and his son being left the same way he was as a child, etc etc
Now you might say hey these are all negative emotions but there’s plenty of examples of positive as well. Anytime he receives closure and is put at ease, endorphins released from his addiction to killing, spending any time with his children (I fully believe its not an “act” especially the longer he’s with them), feeling like someone sees and understands him for who he is and accepts him despite all his flaws (the absolute most painful imo), etc etc
A lot of these examples come from the first season alone (also that I’ve seen twice, I’ll update perhaps as I continue) where he has so much potential for healing that I believe gets ripped from him more and more as the show goes on.
It is my firm belief that Harry groomed Dexter to be a serial killer and enabled his negative state of mind therefore ruining any chance at healing from trauma and dealing with a clear neurodivergency he exhibited for whatever sick sort of fantasy he had and could act out through his adopted son. And it pisses me off to no fucking end.
Constantly we are fed as a core foundation of the show and main character that Harry Morgan is who “helped” Dexter live the life of a serial killer. He taught him how to get away with numerous murders, how to avoid police suspicion, how to channel his desires, how to dispose of a body, and most importantly how to fake being like everyone else. He didn’t give Dexter a true chance. You don’t look at a damn child who kills an animal and think “oh he’s gonna be like that for forever so let’s either get rid of him or teach him how to do it safely” (but if you do- fuck you dude), no, that’s a CHILD and in Harry’s case one he KNEW came from a horribly traumatic background. You see a child clearly struggling and you help them. You don’t look at them and tell them that everything they have ever done wrong is part of an evil they will never be rid of.
Dexter looked up to Harry. Dexter and Deb both saw Harry, as most children do their parents, as some super being who knows all and could never do wrong. So when an idol looks at you and tells you for so many years that you are a monster and there is no cure to this darkness inside of you? You believe them. It becomes your identity. Because surely they know everything so why would they be wrong? Why would you question it? You go along with what they say to do and the only relief you get from your trauma is the destructive way you are taught to express it. In Dexter’s case that is taking a life. It doesn’t help that Harry hid so much from him. It doesn’t help that he made Dexter feel as if he was alone instead of getting him proper help and not taking advice from a gosh damned therapist that also grooms children into being serial killers.
Get him into taxidermy or even encourage bloodwork from an earlier age, teach him to be a coroner or mortician or euthanasia tech. Get him someone to listen to how he feels if you can’t do it yourself so he feels heard and seen so he doesn’t grow up thinking that his problems are terrifying so he must bottle them up because no one can handle them. Dexter spends so much time feeling so alone when all he needed for years was someone to just listen to him and not be afraid. And it’s honestly so damn sad as someone who spent so long feeling similarly.
I mentioned I have borderline personality and while I don’t often experience the rage commonly associated with it I do heavily experience depression and anxiety frequently as a result of struggling to understand my connections with others. Similar to Dexter I encounter hardships with empathy and I constantly second guess my relationships with everyone to the point it was so bad in junior high and high school that I began to believe that no one would ever understand me and I would need to keep my thoughts bottled up. I struggled with intrusive thoughts that ranged from self harm to sexual whether it was of me or of others. I find dead things and anatomy fascinating as well as how graphic deaths can occur interesting. I’m not phased by certain things people deem so morbid. Until I got therapy to accept myself and my interests and understand that I am not my thoughts I felt crazy and weird and like I was a square block in a puzzle box. So it is heartbreaking to see Dexter treated like a monster.
I love how New Blood went and I love that Dexter died. I don’t believe as much as I feel bad for him that he “deserved” any sort of happier ending in fact I feel like it fit the story very well. And I above all absolutely loved that Harrison broke the cycle. The show to me overall is terribly tragic and it’s difficult to watch at points because of the statements i have made. But I do love it. It’s very entertaining. Very thought provoking.
And to those who find themself in similar thought patterns to myself or even relating to Dexter as I do- you are not your thoughts. You are not too far gone and you are not any sort of monster for thinking those things. You are cared for you are loved you are seen you are not alone.
